This week, I introduce you to Rick Huttner, author and activist. When Rick reached out to share about his organization, Resilient People, and his new book, I just knew I had to have him on as a guest blogger. In this first post, Rick explores the financial and emotional costs of abuse, and also offers some words of hope for those who are wondering if they are ever going to heal.
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The following is adapted from Resilient People, Rick's inspiring story of his journey through the recovery process.
I want to share a staggering statistic with you.
We all know child abuse comes with a heavy emotional toll, but the financial cost of abuse is just as burdensome, estimated to cost the US $124 billion annually.
That number reflected 2008 statistics. Given the rate of inflation and how prevalent abuse is in our society, it’s sickening to think how high that number is today.
As an abuse survivor myself, these numbers are personal to me. But there’s also the emotional cost to survivors, which doesn’t always add up to dollars and cents.
In this article, we’ll look at both sides of the ledger. Let’s start on the financial side.
The Financial Cost of Abuse
There are two main components of the $124 billion cost: crime and healthcare.
The American SPCC notes that abused children are approximately nine times more likely to get involved in criminal behavior than children who weren’t abused. The website also notes, “14% of all men in prison and 36% of women in prison in the USA were abused as children, about twice the frequency seen in the general population.”
Abuse victims also experience more social differences, which can make them feel isolated and angry. They have a higher rate of continuing abusive behaviors, which continues a cycle of violence and crime. This is a cycle that’s hard to escape.
Abuse also leads to higher medical costs, in the short term and long term. It’s easy enough to imagine healthcare needs for a child who’s been brought to the ER after being hit—but that’s only the beginning. Drug use causes no end to medical needs, and drugs share an unfortunate connection with abuse, both among abusers and victims.
The American SPCC says that cases of neglect have ballooned with the opioid crisis. Children who are exposed to drugs like opioids in utero are more likely to have behavioral issues and learning deficits, which creates added costs for healthcare, early intervention, and social work. Also, think of the high costs of a drug rehabilitation program—a 30 day program can cost anywhere from $6,000 to $20,000.
And what issue is at the root of two-thirds of people who are in drug rehab? Abuse. As I experienced, abuse survivors often turn to self-medicating to dull the pain.
In addition to more alcoholism and drug addiction, abuse survivors have poorer physical health in general, compared to people who weren’t abused. Abuse survivors are much riskier in their sexual health as well. Abused children are 25% more likely to deal with teen pregnancy, and have unprotected sex, making them more likely to get STDs.
Also, 80% of abuse survivors are later found to have a psychological disorder, like anxiety or depression. These costs are no doubt felt personally by every abuse survivor— and their monetary cost is substantial.
The Emotional Cost of Abuse
As horrifying as these statistics are, the whole truth is even worse. The numbers don't show the bruises, broken bones, broken spirits, or the deeply buried fear residing in each survivor of abuse. The numbers can only hint at the pain survivors feel.
Here are just a few of the emotional effects survivors deal with:
* Lack of trust
* Inability to engage in fulfilling relationships
* Feeling “too damaged to love”
* Low self-worth or feelings of worthlessness
* Difficulties with controlling emotions
* Depression, anxiety, and anger
* Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
* Lack of trust
* Inability to engage in fulfilling relationships
* Feeling “too damaged to love”
* Low self-worth or feelings of worthlessness
* Difficulties with controlling emotions
* Depression, anxiety, and anger
* Suicidal thoughts and behaviors
The list of emotional effects is long—but probably not long enough to accurately reflect all the ways a child suffers emotional scars from abuse. Much of these effects tie into the point noting “low self-worth.”
After my experience being abused, I felt too damaged to love. That low self-worth led me to take all the risks that nearly killed me: the drugs, the car accidents, the motorcycle accidents. Even worse, low self-esteem can lead many victims of abuse to consider suicide, or go so far as to commit it.
The most tragic effects of abuse end in death. Children may die from violence, or choose to commit suicide because of the incredible pain they suffer.
1,850 children die a year from some form of child abuse—that equals seven or more children a day. Young children are the most vulnerable; most of those deaths from abuse (80%) happen to children under the age of four. Just as tragic, if not more so: approximately six children will commit suicide every day, due to child abuse.
The Hope of Healing
These statistics paint a grim picture, but if you’re an abuse survivor, there is hope.
Don’t miss that. There is hope of healing.
I experienced a self-destructive streak because of the emotional effects of my abuse. I always say, “When the abuser stops, the abused takes over, and abuse themselves.” Our brains get so messed up by abuse that we start ruining our own lives.
I have one thing to say to that: The abuse was not your fault.
No matter what happened, it was not your fault. You don't have to recreate abuse in your life to punish yourself. Your brain and mine may have been rewired by abuse, but we can change our minds. It is possible for every abuse survivor to overcome the damage caused emotionally and psychologically by abuse. You can heal!
Within each abuse survivor, mixed up with the memories of abuse and the emotional and psychological damage we’ve suffered, part of us is looking for good. That part of us wants to open up to the possibility that there is good, and we are allowed to explore it.
Listen to the power within you that wants to discover the good—the deep good, the true good, the whole good. If you can, you can come to live an incredibly and fulfilling life.
You can learn to love and be loved. I did it, which means you can too.
For more advice on healing from abuse, you can find Resilient People on Amazon.
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Rick Huttner is a survivor of physical and sexual abuse who now works passionately to spread the message that all abuse survivors can heal. His own healing process began after decades of alcohol abuse, dysfunctional relationships, and a volatile career—all of which were influenced by the buried pain of his childhood trauma. Finally unburdened by his past, Rick now lives a joyful, productive, loving life. He founded the Resilient People initiative to help other abuse survivors, and he regularly shares his story at speaking engagements and abuse-awareness workshops. He can be booked through his website, www.resilientpeople.us.
