I recently connected with Susan Bisaha, and I knew I wanted to give her a space to share her story with you.
Susan is a psychotherapist of more than 30 years and an eight-year survivor of sexual abuse by a Catholic priest. She remained silent about what happened for years before eventually choosing to tell her story and begin rebuilding her life on her own terms. Her memoir, And the Lotus Shall Rise: My Journey Through Clergy Sex Abuse, chronicles her experience of grooming, abuse, silence, and the difficult road toward healing.
What particularly struck me about Susan's story is that her healing journey didn't simply involve looking back at what happened. For more than two decades, she has continued to encounter the man who abused her because he lives within two miles of her. She saw him in restaurants, supermarkets, bars, and around her community. That ongoing proximity meant learning how to navigate re-traumatization while continuing to build a life that belongs to her.
I’m grateful Susan reached out to share her story, and I hope her words offer both validation and encouragement to anyone who has struggled with shame, self-worth, or the long and sometimes complicated process of healing.
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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?
SUSAN: Silence was literally killing me. When my mother passed away in 2014, the time felt right to share my story; eight years of sex abuse and exploitation by a catholic priest and the church. The book did not go where I had hoped (looking back, times were different regarding church sex assault) so after years of looking for a literary agent and/or publisher, the stars aligned. The book was
finally released May of this year through Cloverly Publishing. I am now able to use his real name (I could not in 2014) and include much more substance.
RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?
SUSAN: I now choose to love myself!
For too many years, I placed my value and worth in other peoples' hands. Never again!
Also, Mark Dolak (the priest) has lived within two miles of me for the past 22 years. Hundreds of sightings at bars, restaurants, supermarkets, the boardwalk. In my case, I needed to learn about continuous re-traumatization and how to cope. No one could save me but me.
RACHEL: What challenges do you think people face when dealing with this topic and how can they overcome them?
SUSAN: Healing takes time. Loving yourself is a CHOICE.
SUSAN: The child should have known it was wrong. The child should have stopped it.
RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?
SUSAN: THERAPY!! Also, building a community that knows your story and will support your journey.
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What I appreciate most about Susan's story is her simple but incredibly powerful statement: "I now choose to love myself."
That may sound straightforward, but for survivors, learning to place our own worth back in our own hands can be a profound part of healing. Abuse teaches us, directly or indirectly, to question ourselves, our instincts, our value, and sometimes even our right to take up space. Reclaiming those things takes time.
I also appreciate Susan's honesty about re-traumatization. Healing doesn't always mean the reminders disappear. Sometimes the person, place, memory, or circumstance is still there. The work becomes learning how to care for yourself when those reminders show up, rather than allowing them to take your life back from you.
And I couldn't agree more with her reminder that healing takes time. There is no deadline for becoming okay. There is simply the ongoing choice to turn toward yourself with compassion, support, and the belief that your life can become your own again.
To choosing yourself,
Rachel
P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by requesting a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.
RESOURCE OF THE MONTH
This month’s resource comes from someone especially close to my heart - Toni Teixeira, a graduate of the Beyond Surviving program!
In her book, Toni offers a beginner-friendly introduction to somatic exercises and the powerful connection between our bodies and minds. With more than 65 simple practices, she shows you how movement can help you regulate your nervous system, reduce stress and anxiety, and become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.
Whether you're new to somatic work or simply looking for practical tools you can use in the moment, this is a wonderful resource to explore.
UPCOMING EVENTS
REPLAY AVAILABLE UNTIL SEPTEMBER 10
Missed the live event, or want to go deeper? The full 3-day replay of Making Miracles Happen is available now through September 10. Explore powerful healing conversations, energy transmissions, and insights designed to help you get to the source of old patterns and connect with your inner healer.
brought to you in partnership with CPTSD Foundation
As survivors of childhood abuse, one of the most persistent and pervasive feelings we experience is shame. This month, we explore how it affects our sense of self, our inner emotional lives, our relationships, and more.
WE NEED YOUR VOICE!
THE CPTSD CENSUS
Every Voice Helps Shape the Future of Complex PTSD
The CPTSD Census is an annual survivor-led research initiative created by The Healing and CPTSD Foundation to better understand the lived experiences of people impacted by Complex PTSD.
By participating, you're contributing to a growing body of survivor-informed data that helps strengthen education, advocacy, research, and future systems change.
The CPTSD Census is more than a questionnaire.
It's a collective effort to document survivor experiences, strengthen awareness, inform advocacy, and ensure that the voices of people living with Complex PTSD are reflected in conversations about research, policy, and systems change.
PARTICIPATE IN THE CENSUS
AVAILABLE UNTIL SEPTEMBER 30th
