There’s a moment many people on a healing path quietly come to - often after years of trying, pushing, and doing all the “right” things.
It’s the moment they realize:
“I thought I had moved on…so why does my body still feel this way?”
Why does anxiety still show up when life looks okay on the outside?
Why does connection still feel uncertain, even in safer relationships?
Why does the past still feel present?
For a long time, I thought healing meant getting to a place where the past no longer affected me. Where I could close the door on what happened and finally be “done.”
But what I’ve learned - both personally and through my work - is that trauma doesn’t resolve just because we understand it or because life improves on the surface.
Especially when trauma has been ongoing or relational, the nervous system adapts in deep ways. Even when the danger is gone, the patterns of protection can remain.
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I know this place well.
There have been seasons where everything in my life looked “fine” on paper, but internally I was still carrying tension, hypervigilance, and a sense of bracing for something to go wrong. Not because I was broken, but because my system had learned that was the safest way to exist.
What I’ve come to understand is this:
Healing is about learning how to move with what has happened.
To stop fighting the parts of us that still carry impact.
To stop judging the responses that once protected us.
And to begin building enough internal safety that those patterns don’t have to run everything anymore.
Healing is not erasing your past.
It’s learning how to be in relationship with it differently.
And from that place, something new becomes possible!
A Small Action You Can Take Today:
Take one quiet moment today and notice your body, not your thoughts.
Ask yourself gently:
Where am I bracing right now?
What might this part of me be trying to protect me from?
You don’t have to fix anything.
Just notice.
Then place a hand somewhere on your body - chest, belly, arm - and offer a simple reminder:
“I’m here with you.”
That alone is a form of healing. Not dramatic. Not forced. Just present.
To the journey,
Rachel
P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.
RESOURCE OF THE MONTH
What My Bones Know is a powerful memoir by journalist Stephanie Foo that explores complex PTSD and the long-lasting impact of childhood trauma. By her thirties, Stephanie appeared successful on the outside, but privately she was struggling with panic attacks and emotional overwhelm. After being diagnosed with C-PTSD, she began a deeply personal journey to understand how years of abuse and abandonment continued to shape her life.
Through interviews with experts, personal reflection, and a range of healing approaches, Stephanie investigates both the science of trauma and her own lived experience. In doing so, she comes to a profound realization: healing is not about moving on from trauma, but learning how to move with it.
UPCOMING EVENTS
brought to you in partnership with CPTSD Foundation
As survivors of childhood abuse, we can have an enormous amount of anger inside us. This month, we’ll explore anger and how it is a healthy and natural response to abuse and exploitation.
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