Post-divorce back in 2006, starting over felt like stepping into a storm without an umbrella.
Life had taken an unexpected turn, and I was scared - terrified, really - that I wouldn’t be able to support myself. Living on my own again was harder than I imagined, and the future felt like a huge question mark.
Would I ever fall in love again? Would I be okay?
At times, I felt broken, unwanted, and deeply alone.
Daily life was a mix of small blessings and heavy anxiety. I was working as a nanny, and thank goodness for the kids’ naps, because that was often the only time I could let myself cry. The family I worked for was wonderfully supportive, and I was trying to build new friendships - but there was a lot of quiet loneliness in between.
Anxiety kept me stuck in subtle but powerful ways.
Some days it was hard to leave the house.
Dating felt terrifying - I carried big fears about being betrayed again.
My mind was a constant loop of “No one will ever love me” and “I’m going to end up homeless.”
The turning point came in the most ordinary of places: a park, watching ducks. I remembered the old saying about how ducks look calm on the surface, but underneath their little legs are paddling like crazy.
That’s exactly what I felt - going, going, going, but not releasing the fear that had my chest so tight. In that moment, I realized enough was enough. I didn’t want to live life in panic any longer.
The process of reclaiming calm wasn’t instant - but it was doable.
I began focusing on the truth: I had faced challenges and losses before, and I could handle this too.
I started practicing positive anticipation - training myself to look for what could go right, not just what could go wrong. That little mindset shift became a lifeline.
Today, anxiety shows up differently. It’s an alarm, not a jailer, reminding me, “Hey, you’re focusing only on the future and expecting the worst. Challenge that.”
I’m no longer stuck. I have freedom. I can look ahead and feel inspired, rather than paralyzed.
If you’re feeling trapped by anxiety right now, know this: you’ve got this.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
You can start small - just noticing the fear, acknowledging it, and then taking one brave step. Over time, you’ll find the space to create the life you truly want.
Take a deep breath today and remember: even small steps count. You’re capable of more than your anxiety tells you - and I’m here to help you burst that fear and step into the life you’re meant to live.
With you in it,
Rachel
P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.
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