Have you ever stared at an email, felt a tightness in your chest, and thought, “I’m not ready for this”?
You’re not alone.
As someone who works with trauma survivors every day, I hear it all the time:
“I saw your email and meant to open it… but I couldn’t.”
“I’ve had this saved for weeks—I just haven’t felt ready.”
“I knew it was going to bring stuff up… so I avoided it.”
And guess what? That hesitation makes sense.
Because when you're living with the effects of trauma—especially complex trauma—everything that hints at healing can also stir up fear. Even something as simple as an email can feel like a trigger.
Why?
Because healing asks something of us. It asks us to feel, to remember, to face, to be present—and for many trauma survivors, those things haven’t always felt safe.
That email might contain truths you’re not sure you can face yet.
It might suggest changes you’re scared to make.
It might be a reminder of something you’ve been trying not to think about.
So your brain does what it learned to do to protect you:
It says, “Let’s not go there today.”
And that’s okay.
Fear is not a sign that you’re failing.
It’s a sign that your system is trying to stay safe.
The key is learning how to listen to that fear without letting it decide your future.
Because behind that fear might also be a part of you that wants more.
More freedom. More peace. More connection.
A life that’s about thriving—not just surviving.
But here’s the thing: healing doesn’t have to happen all at once.
You don’t have to be “ready” for everything right now.
You just have to be willing to take one small step at a time.
Sometimes, that step might look like opening a hard email.
Other times, it might be pausing to take a breath, texting a trusted friend, or just choosing to be kind to yourself today.
Whatever your pace—whatever your process—please know this:
You are not broken.
You are not behind.
You are not alone.
There’s no perfect timeline. No one “right” way to heal.
But there is a path forward—and you get to walk it at your own speed.
So if you’ve ever flinched at a subject line, closed a tab halfway through reading, or scrolled past something that felt too real—know that that’s not weakness. It’s wisdom, protection, survival. And it can shift with time.
When you're ready, the next step will be there.
And so will I.
With you in it,
Rachel
P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.
UPCOMING EVENTS
Join us for this transformative workshop and leave with the confidence to navigate your relationships with discernment and trust. Whether in your personal or professional life, these skills will help you build stronger, more authentic connections.
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CHECK THIS OUT!
✨ Introducing Queer Reflection — an empathy engine disguised as interactive storytelling.
Created by Bryan Alexander, this project invites you to feel what it’s like to live in queer skin.
Their first story, The Dinner Table, puts you in the shoes of a nonbinary teen coming out to their family. You choose your words. Watch their faces. Sit with the consequences. Then reflect.
This isn’t a game. It’s a gateway to understanding.
Because now more than ever, we don’t just need allies—we need people who feel it in their bones. 💔💪🏽
Start here 👉 queerreflection.com
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