April 12, 2016

3 Times When Your YES Should Really Be a NO…

Today, we continue our series with Joy Evanns. She breaks down exactly how to determine when to switch that yes to a no. Be sure to get her How to Say NO scripts now.


Have you ever said YES to something when you really didn’t want to personally or professionally?

Sometimes it’s easier just to give in and agree to a request from a family member, employee, or colleague than it is to do what you really want to do.
Why? Because in the moment, it’s easier and less uncomfortable to say YES than it is to say NO.

Yet NOT saying NO has a cost. And it’s an expensive one that can drain your time, energy, and money.

Here are 3 Times Your YES Should Really Be a NO:

1) When your YES isn’t a “HELL YES.”

Life is too short (or to long depending on how you look at it) to invite in people and experiences that you aren’t enthusiastic about. So don’t!

When you say YES out of obligation, or because you’re worried about what people will think, this also comes with a thread of resentment. This harms your relationships overall.

And because lots of things compete for your time, you need a good way to edit your choices. This one is easy. If you’re not excited to do something, at what I consider to be “HELL YES!” then instead, politely decline.

2) When you haven’t scheduled your own self-care.

It’s easy to put everyone else on your calendar first and to think that you have time to help someone else out with one more thing.  Time to put out one more fire.

But when you do this, how do you ever find time for that exercise class? That massage? That dinner with uplifiting friends? That morning meditation? Lounging on the couch with a good book? 

When you’re a busy woman, the only way to get this time is to schedule it and guard it as if it was sacred. (Because it is.)

If you haven’t scheduled some recharge time, do it before you keep saying yes to everyone else. Otherwise, there will never be enough left over for you and this inevitably leads to burn out.

3) When you feel pressured to say YES.

More likely than not, feeling pressured is an indication that you’d really like to say NO, but there might be a perceived consequence for doing so that you haven’t figured out how to avoid or navigate.
When you notice the pressure, you can then ask yourself some questions to determine the best way to proceed…
  • What am I afraid of if I say NO?
  • How can I acknowledge or address those fears when I say NO?
  • How can I communicate my continued commitment to the relationship when I say NO?
  • What is the long-term consequence for me, for my family, for my work or business of saying YES to something that really is a NO for me?

By spending a little bit of time with these questions, it becomes easier to be true to what is really a fit for you instead of bowing to the pressure you may feel.


Joy Evanns, the “Say NO Like a Pro” Mentor, helps women business owners improve their cash flow and find up to 40 extra hours each month by setting guilt-free boundaries. Pick up her two free How to Say NO conversation scripts and stop the time and money drain when someone asks, “Hey, I’m having this issue I’d love to pick your brain about. Can we have coffee?” Get your How to Say NO scripts now.

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