Being able to say no is critical when it comes to setting boundaries. But what do you do if someone doesn't respect your boundaries? Why are deservingness and hope a part of being a rock star at saying no?
Tired of settling for the bare minimum? Tired of thinking you better just take what you can get? Learn how to determine if you should set aside a dream or stay committed, and I also share a strategy for cultivating deservingness learned from my Jamaican adopted mother!
Well hello there 2021!
I'm beginning the new year doing my best to channel some optimism. Maybe you are too?
With this on my mind, I got curious about this thing we call optimism.
Why is optimism such a pillar of my value system?
Why do I tend to respond to challenges by thinking, "I am sure this will work out for the good?"
Am I just being naïve to be open to the silver lining, especially given my lived experiences and the stories I hear everyday from my clients of violation?
So, I decided to look up the definition of the word. This is often where I start when trying to make sense of something and after watching The Professor and the Madmen, a movie about how the first edition of the Oxford English Dictionary came to be, I am even more grateful for this resource!
Here's the good news folks: optimism aka hopefulness aka good cheer aka expectation aka desire aka wish is the ANTIDOTE to all of the above.
This is why the very first lesson in the Beyond Surviving program is all about accessing hope!
Every single person who I have walked alongside in these past 14 years has had to conquer all of the above in order to take a leap of faith (hope that healing is possible) to be able to say "Yes!" to going on a healing journey with me as their mentor.
FEAR: What if I'm just too broken to ever be better?
INDIFFERENCE: Whatever, maybe this is just how things are going to be.
INDECISION: I can't trust myself to know what's best for me.
DOUBT: What if I try and nothing changes? What if I fail?
WORRY: This is all going to be way too much. I'm not going to be able to handle talking about this stuff.
TIMIDITY: I better just think about this some more. Maybe I'm not really ready.
In case you're wondering, that goes for me too!
I had to navigate all of these "emotional enemies", and this is one of the reasons why optimism has been and remains a major value for me.
It was my refusal to surrender and my commitment to believing that my future was mine to reclaim and make of it what I wanted that kept me going on the hard days.
Today, for many of my clients, they lean on my belief in that and in them until they are able to generate hope and optimism for themselves.
So, if you're still reading, my hope is that you are encouraged today. That you consider 2021 as your year of opportunity, reclaiming, and expectation that healing is possible!
As always, if there is anything I can do to be a resource and support to you, I'm here.
With hope,
P.S. Tired of waiting and ready to move forward in your life? If you identify as female, this upcoming group program is a great next step.
P.P.S. For those who identify as male, apply for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session to explore working with me one-on-one.
Explore other resources on the topic of hope!
Do you consider yourself an optimist or a pessimist or something in between?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Manson turns his gaze from the inevitable flaws within each individual self to the endless calamities taking place in the world around us. Drawing from the pool of psychological research on these topics, as well as the timeless wisdom of philosophers such as Plato, Nietzsche, and Tom Waits, he dissects religion and politics and the uncomfortable ways they have come to resemble one another. He looks at our relationships with money, entertainment and the internet, and how too much of a good thing can psychologically eat us alive. He openly defies our definitions of faith, happiness, freedom—and even of hope itself.
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