A Return to Your Genuine Self: March 2020

March 28, 2020

Do you know how to reverse an autoimmune disease?

I know that even the thought of taking time for yourself in the midst of everything that is happening in the world (and even on a "normal" day) can be overwhelming, but if you are suffering from autoimmune disease, you MUST start now.

I have the perfect opportunity. There’s no travel and no cost - just five full days packed with information.

I’m talking about the all NEW Reverse Autoimmune Disease Summit, Trauma and Autoimmunity: Causes and Healing Pathways that will launch on April 13, 2020.

Here’s your link to register now!

Dr. Keesha reversed her own autoimmune disease, and she has committed herself to helping others do the same. That’s why she is bringing these experts right to you. Five days of LIVE interviews will change how you understand autoimmune disease and the solutions available.

I wanted to be a part of this summit because studies have shown there is a direct relationship between trauma and the occurrence of autoimmune diseases. I have had countless clients navigating this, and am so pleased to be sharing my insights on April 15th and can't wait to hear and learn from all of the other speakers myself!

And just in case you didn’t notice when I said this before….

…It’s FREE for you to attend!

Do this for yourself and your health! Register now so you don’t miss one minute of this incredible summit.

When you do, you’ll have access to all speakers over a full 5 days. Don’t wait - reserve your seat now!

To healing,

Watch my interview with Caroline Day to learn how you can turn your home into a healing sanctuary.

Read how Kristin Schultz found a way to explain her chronic illness using an everyday household item - a spoon!

What is one thing you struggle with as a result of an autoimmune disease?

BOOK OF THE MONTH

After seeing Matthew on television, a child who had recently been the victim of abuse contacted him to ask what had helped him recover. Answering that simple yet profoundly important question led to the creation of this book.

The Truth That No One Tells Teenagers is a frank and honest sharing of essential information, cushioned in recollections of his own journey from victim to multi-award-winning human rights activist.

March 18, 2020

Is this Anxiety? Or Is It Shame?

This month, David DeVore is joining us to share how shame can affect you, without you even realizing it.

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Ten years ago I believed that I had an anxiety disorder. A huge part of my spiritual journey has been the discovery that the shame of being sexually abused as a child, being gay, and feeling condemned, had a bigger impact on who I became than I ever could have imagined.

For me, shame is the root cause of my anxiety.

I was in denial of the sexual abuse until my forties and shame was running the show in my life, keeping me on autopilot, disconnected, and less than authentic. Stuck. And in search of purpose. Let me explain.

Shame is an emotional response to being unloved, unaccepted, rejected or abused. All humans experience shame, unless of course, you are a sociopath. When we experience shame, it is an attack on our ego, our identity. The emotional processing center of the brain, the amygdala, is set off by anything that is perceived at a threat to the system. Our heart rate increases and we prepare for action, and quickly jump out of the way of the car, or avoid the critical teacher, or the abuser.

Years beyond the abuse, we continue to respond to, and have transference around people, places, and things that remind us of shame driven experiences that often originate in childhood abuse. For most of us, this is a completely subconscious experience. As we move through life, our brain automatically discerns perceived threats around us resulting in a feeling state of anxiety and even panic.

In retrospect, I realize that I was operating in survival mode and had learned to be distrusting of people, always on guard, and expecting a negative outcome. Shame creates the delusion that we are alone, separate, and that no one else could possibly understand what we are going through. Shame only affects individuals to the extent that we buy into a reality that we are somehow defective and unworthy.

The good news is that through self-awareness, we can begin to heal the impact of shame in our lives. The symptoms of shame are identical to the symptoms of anxiety. Knowing how shame feels in your body is the first step to embracing it. Let me give you an example.

When I filed a sexual abuse report against a priest in southern Illinois, the diocesan advocate requested that I have a meeting with the counsel to go over the report and answer questions about what occurred. I prepared for this meeting with my spiritual counselor and felt very confident on the train ride down state. As I walked into the diocesan headquarters, I smelled holy water and the hair on my neck stood up. I felt flushed. My heart rate increased and I started sweating. I sat down and took some deep breaths. My mind became foggy and I feared that I wouldn’t be able to articulate my thoughts in the meeting.

These are all symptoms of anxiety.

The advocate seemed incredibly serious as we walked up the stairs to the meeting. I felt like a thirteen year old boy on his way to the principal’s office as if I had done something wrong and was in trouble. Doomed. As I entered the small meeting room, the counsel jumped to their feet and I could sense their fear. I began to believe that they were against me. My mind was racing as I scanned the room and started to plan an escape. I could easily ask to use the restroom and leave.

As the meeting began, I could barely speak. I began to tell my story of sexual abuse, crying uncontrollably. This surprised me. I hadn’t expected this. I thought I had this whole thing under control. The two hour meeting was incredibly difficult but also healing for me. This was the first time I connected the emotional pain of the abuse. I had been in so much denial for over thirty years. I began to see that the members of the counsel were incredibly compassionate and supportive.

Ultimately, they unanimously believed my report and the priest in question was taken out of the priesthood.

So what really happened there? I walked into the diocesan headquarters and smelled the holy water which reminded me of being a child in the catholic school where I feared rejection for being gay. It also reminded me of the priest, and the sexual abuse. The sensory memory made the hair stand up on my neck, and the other symptoms of shame/anxiety followed. I began to have irrational thoughts that the counsel and advocate were already against me because I was gay. On some level I believed the sexual abuse was my fault. I was in full fight or flight mode as my ego was threatened with annihilation. I even planned a strategy to leave!

But the truth was that the counsel was in full support of me. The snowball effect of shame can easily create the delusion of false threats. In my new awareness of shame symptoms, I have become curious every time the hair stands up on my neck. I ask the question, “what is going on here? Is there a threat or am I experiencing shame?”

I’ve also come to see that behaviors resulting from shame mimic fight or flight. On the flight side I may run away, pretend, rationalize, numb myself out and distract myself. On the fight side, I may continually blame the outside world, become defensive, hostile, and even aggressive by the threat of shame.

The experience of shame is different for everyone, and gaining awareness is crucial in the ongoing and never ending healing process. I recognize that shame has expressed itself in my life in a blinding and often overwhelming way. Sometimes shame presents itself in the most subtle and insidious ways.

How does shame show up in your life? The next time you receive criticism, take a deep breath and note the feeling state of your body. How does it feel? What behaviors result from the experience? In this awareness, and by embracing shame, you can begin to shift your vibration from any subconscious programs of the mind that might be keeping you in the shame game.

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David DeVore M.A., is a spiritual coach specializing in working with gay men on issues related to shame, internalized homophobia, and abuse. As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse, David has become passionate about the epidemic of shame that subconsciously holds individuals back from living a life a joy and purpose.

March 13, 2020

Let's talk about how to party like an introvert...

Time needed: 7 minutes

Hear my pro tip for saying "peace out" when I am out of energy!

Watch Now!

https://youtu.be/A8DtfOcD_78