Who is the real threat?

I've been following Kristen Browde on TikTok for some time now and have found her to be so insightful and inspiring that I had to introduce you to her and the amazing advocacy work she is doing on many fronts.

In particular, I want to share with you this amazing website she's spearheaded: Who's Making News for S*x Crimes Involving Children?, a research project that aggregates and analyzes news reports published about s*xual assaults on children in the United States, and is designed to be fully verifiable.

With April being Child Abuse Awareness & Prevention month, I couldn't pass up this moment to bring to the forefront a very important question: 

Who is the REAL threat?

There is a lot in our media these days about my community - the LGBTQ+ - and very specifically rhetoric around transgender people and drag queens posing a threat to children.

But I am a person who pays attention to stats and data to tell the story alongside the voices of those who are actually doing the work to fact check narratives about s*x crimes against children.

As said on the site, "The site contains a set of data and statistical analysis of that data, nothing more. The data, like the facts, don’t care about anyone’s feelings, or politics."

Without further ado:

RACHEL: Can you tell us a little bit about you!?

KRISTEN: It wasn’t the way I planned it. As I approach my 75th birthday, I’m President of the Florida Democratic Party’s LGBTQ+ Caucus, Vice President of the National Federation of Stonewall Democrats, live in downtown Miami, and, to my surprise, am followed by something like 425,000 people on TikTok. And what makes that even odder: law and politics are my second and third careers.

I come from the world of journalism, where I spent some 40+ years, the last 17 of which were at CBS News in New York, where I was the anchor assigned to the CBS News Bulletin Center. While at CBS I attended law school, founded my own law firm, became a pension fund trustee, had two children and moved from New York City to the suburb if Chappaqua, New York. But in 2016, in an appearance at New York City’s largest media and political charity event, the Inner Circle Dinner, when I came out as transgender, that’s when my current life really began.

[In other words, y'all - she's a badass!]


RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

KRISTEN: For years we’ve all heard the Republicans and other right wingers screaming about transgender people being “groomers” – a danger to children. They even started a phony organization they called gays against groomers – and though I suspected this was nonsense, I wanted to see if there was any data that could verify or debunk the right wing claims. It turned out there wasn’t. So I fashioned a study and ran it for more than a year, looking at the available reports of people who were arrested, charged or convicted of sexual assaults on children.

When I started reporting the results weekly on TikTok, it immediately went viral. People tried to attack it as a biased study, but I immediately made all the source data available and allowed anyone who could add a missing bit of data or demonstrate that someone had been acquitted or the charges dropped could get data removed. Lots of additional reports came in, but no one ever demonstrated even the slightest bias: if the report was documented, I included it in the database, no matter who it involved.


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

KRISTEN: That the right wing narrative is nonsense. The data showed that on a per capita basis, during the study period (February 10, 2023 through May 23, 2024)  a child was

804 times more likely to be sexually assaulted by an ordained member of the clergy than by a transgender person;

380 times more likely to be sexually assaulted by a police officer than by a transgender person and

142 times more likely to be sexually assaulted by a politician than by a transgender person.

And of the politicians, more than two thirds of those arrested, charged or convicted of sexually assaulting a child were Republicans.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

KRISTEN: They listen to the nonsense Donald Trump, Elon Musk and that ilk spew. They need to look at the data, and recognize that this comes from Musk’s inability to be a good parent to his oldest child who is a happy, out, transgender woman.


RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

KRISTEN: The whole project is an attempt to do just that. :)


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

KRISTEN: The website is still available, along with the data. I’d hope that someone would fund deeper research into the topic – but it’s really time consuming to gather the data, and it’s an expensive – though not complicated – study.


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I am so grateful for the heart, soul, and sweat that Kristen and others have poured into this work - I think we can all appreciate the herculean effort!

If we are serious about addressing and preventing child abuse, then we must collectively and aggressively challenge the harmful narratives and highlight the true sources of risk to children and foster a more informed and compassionate conversation about child protection. 

If you're ready to learn more about the steps you can take to prevent & respond to child abuse, please check out my course, The Empowered Parent.

 

Together we can protect our children from the real threats they face!



P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

Parenting to Prevent the Next Generation of #metoo Stories

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UPCOMING EVENTS

For survivors of childhood abuse, shame can be one of the most pervasive feelings we carry well after the abuse has ended.

As a result of trauma, we come to believe that we are at fault or to blame for what has happened. This then transforms into a deeply rooted way of being that impacts our sense of self.

We might come to believe that we are unlovable because we were abused. We might come to believe that there is inherently something bad or wrong about who we are.

In other words, all of our judgments about "self" are derogatory or negative. Boy have we been there! And we can't wait to share with you what helped us put an end to the constant self-blame and judgment.

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

April 14th

BOUNDARIES

Setting boundaries and assertiveness are both essential for survivors if we want to be treated with respect and improve our self-esteem. We'll explore the process of learning to set boundaries & be assertive.

Learn More & Register Here

Allow me to re-introduce myself 👋

Wow! In the last few months, this community has grown quite a bit! Whether you've been following me for a long time or you're new to the crew, I thought this might be a great time to "re-introduce" myself.

Some of you are familiar with my story and some of you are just getting to know me - either way, I wanted to share with you all this interview I did last September where I told my story in a brand new way through the lens of how I developed empathy and how that influences the work I do with my clients everyday.

Here's a little teaser:

"I was a happy kid – always laughing, always smiling. Below the surface, I was starting to feel like the odd kid out. By the time I was in kindergarten, my brother was 17 and my sister was 14. They were teenagers, and I was no longer a cute toddler who could gain their attention just by saying a new word. My world was getting smaller.

I had the bad haircut that traumatizes all children in first grade. I met the woman who would inspire me to become a teacher (or, at the very least, work with children), Mrs. Hendren, in second grade. I kicked butt as a goalie in. In third grade, I went to my first overnight camp, my brother joined the military, and my sister went to her senior prom and then quickly got out of dodge.

My cheeks were getting plumper – but I was still smiling! My character – what made me “me” – was forming. I loved to laugh and make other people laugh. But, below the surface, what we were feeling inside – my mom, dad, and I were suffering from “empty nest syndrome”. My granddad, my mother’s father, who had been living with us for a couple of years by that time, filled that empty space in our lives. I loved having my granddad there even though he was really, really old – he was in his early 90’s!! But, I have always been a nurturer, so I loved bringing him his breakfast in the morning and his snacks at night and holding our springy screen door open for him so he could go out and sit on the front porch swing.

Finally 10 years, my first double digit! I was in fourth grade! And, for all intents and purposes, I was a pretty normal kid.

My granddad was still living with us, and I was still on “screen-door” duty. One day, I was still glowing from having just turned 10, I was hangin’ out – watchin’ some cheesy 80’s TV, and I heard my granddad coming down the hall. I knew he was heading outside, so I hopped up, and went to the door. Usually, my granddad hung out by himself for a while then knocked when he was ready to come back in. This day was different.

When my granddad pulled my arm and dragged me with him to the porch swing, I didn’t think much of it. It was a nice day; I guess I thought he wanted some company.

That’s not what he wanted."

Read the full story (and see some of my baby pics!!) here:
https://boldjourney.com/meet-rachel-grant/

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, and I truly enjoy being a resource and support to you in your healing journey!

The biggest thing I've learned is that trauma is not a life sentence, and I look forward to the opportunity to guide you to live Beyond Surviving!


With love!

 

 

P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

 

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

 

 

 

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UPCOMING EVENTS

in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

March 10th

HEALING PROCESS


As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, healing is not linear - and yet, it is still a process!

This month, we explore the stages of healing and the best resources to access at each stage.

Learn More & Register Here

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The strategies I’m going to share in this class are practical, easy to use, and the most effective ways I know to break free from fear and anxiety. They immediately shift you from feeling stuck and immobilized to energized and ready to take life on.

 

 

 Learn More & Register Here

 

 

 

 

Insights from a legit matchmaker 💖

I recently reconnected with Soniyah Singh, the founder of Finding Bliss! Soniyah passionately believes that with Love all things are possible. She is a Love Researcher, Matchmaker, Relationship Coach and a guide for over 16 years.

Her life's calling is to help people be the Love they want & create the Love they seek. She works with singles and couples of all ages, orientations, and backgrounds.

Through her research she has found that the medicine of Love and Compassion can heal conscious and unconscious barriers to Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Pleasure. Her dream is to create more Ripples of Love through sharing inspiring Love Stories of real people and their journeys of struggle and bliss.

She's recently stepped into a new season growth and upleveling her vision, and I'm so glad to introduce you to this powerhouse woman!


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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

SONIYAH: I live by my mantra, "Always at the right place, at the right time, doing the right things, with the right people". I was born in New Delhi, India and moved to Queens, New York when I was only in third grade. I grew up in a very traditional Sikh family with matchmaking all around me. My parents and ancestry were all arranged marriages, so to say what I do for a living is my Dharma is an understatement.

I moved across the country to San Francisco, California in my early 20's and pretty quickly it became clear I was gay, so you can only imagine the journey I've been on coming out to a very conservative family.

I was introduced to my teacher, Wayne Dyer, in 2008, which started my awakening in all arenas. Being an Indian woman, I'm big into astrology and every facilitator that has read my chart has said, "You were born to be a teacher of Love!" To that I nod and say, "Yes, I know. I am a Love Coach! I do this for a living!" And this is why it has been a privilege and an honor to have founded and evolved, Finding Bliss. To me, Finding Bliss is a team-made company and we are all a Love story.


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

SONIYAH: That Love is Inevitable. With Love, all things are possible. No matter how profound our trauma and history, if we are willing to cultivate compassion through practice and see from a new lens and perspective, we heal and return to our natural state, which is lovability.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

SONIYAH: In our modern world, there is infinite "advice" from podcasts, books, media, blogs, friends, and family about Love and relationships that is so misleading. It amplifies the fears and challenges that people have gone through and validates their limiting beliefs versus creating growth and recovery. When it comes to matters of the Heart, nothing is black and white or one size fits all. There is no one way for each person to heal because we are all unique in how find our way back to our innate selves.


RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

SONIYAH: One of the biggest myths is that we cannot heal and create Love simultaneously. This is not true. 30% of people that have just initiated a conversation with me end up meeting their person. They haven't even started the work yet. To this I say, "Finding Love is inevitable, however let's do the deeper work so you can actually receive Love in a way that you never have before and for this connection to be sustainable." So yes, it is possible to meet your Beloved having done no work, however, it may not be sustainable.

Another biggie connected to the above myth is constant comparison to other people's journeys and trauma. I hear people say, "How can THEY have a relationship and they haven't done any work yet?" My Love Research shows that no one journey is the same. If we don't know the story of a person or couple and we are making assumptions based on what we are seeing on the surface, we end up keeping ourselves stuck and in the cycle of judgement and comparison.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

SONIYAH: Because your journey is individual and depends on the season of healing you're in, the resources, tools, and next steps I would offer would be personal to you. The best next step would be reaching out to Finding Bliss for a Discovery Session if you feel driven to dive deeper.



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I soooo ditto everything that Soniyah has offered here and encourage you, if you're currently seeking love, to check out her site and all of the great resources for more encouragement, support and inspiration!


To Love!



P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Get ready to unlock your potential and break free from self-sabotage in this empowering workshop designed to identify and overcome self-limiting beliefs, fostering personal growth and resilience!

Overcoming self-sabotage is essential because it allows us to align our actions with our true goals and values, unlocking our full potential. When we recognize and address the fears and limiting beliefs that drive self-sabotaging behaviors, we build confidence, strengthen relationships, and create a path to personal growth.

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

February 10th

RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships have great significance for us all in terms of support, love, validation, a sense of belonging, and even a sense of "family." We will explore what happens around our needs and wants in relationships and what comes up around getting attached.

Learn More & Register Here

The power of the mind-body connection 🧠👋

I recently connected with Jennie Delreeve, a health practicioner who, alongside her partner Duncan, help women who have experienced trauma feel safe, strong, and confident in mind and body to reverse pelvic organ prolapse naturally and return to running, lifting, and high-impact sports! 

Duncan works with the body, and Jennie with the mind and emotional repatterning. 

Jennie was told that she would never heal three very severe prolapses by several medical professionals. She was also told to forget her active lifestyle. She always loved running, lifting, skiing, climbing, and playing with our kids. This was one of the lowest points of her life.

She thought she was beyond her past s*xual abuse trauma, but soon realized that although she was no longer in the trauma of the experience, the emotional patterns still remained.

She knew that if she moved out of a dominant emotional set point of vulnerability to a place of safety, she would no longer manifest the most vulnerable part of my body falling out!

She healed in 9 months and has never looked back. At age 49, she do CrossFit 4 times a week, ski, run, and jump.

I'm so glad to introduce you to this powerhouse team!


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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

JENNIE: I have been a life coach, health practitioner, and law of attraction mentor since 2008, so when I got the prolapses, I was so shocked! "Why me?", I thought.

It seemed I was doing all the right things: healthy eating, meditation, gut cleanses, drinking water, and all the other stuff. However, I knew that instability in the mind = instability in the body.

I soon realized that the vulnerability pattern from s*xual abuse was still running wild in my life - fear of the dark, fear my kids would be abducted, fear I would be attacked when out running alone, and very low self-worth.

I have coined this the "vulnerability to defensiveness" cycle. I had experienced anger and rage my whole life, but I couldn't admit it because I was a "coach." As soon as I embraced my emotions authentically, allowed myself to feel them without judgment, and authentically processed the patterns, my body fully healed to the amazement of three urogynaecologist.

I celebrated by competing in a strong woman competition!


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

JENNIE: You can do all the things, such as meditating, drinking water, and the list goes on, but you can never "out-act" emotional patterns.

They will eventually manifest in the physical body. Tension in the mind equals tension in the body. When you feel vulnerable, you will often manifest physical issues in the most vulnerable part of your body.

Allowing yourself to feel anger and using techniques to move it through the body is a gateway to better-feeling emotions.

Anger is a powerful and transformative emotion.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

JENNIE: Most women have been told that pelvic organ prolapse is purely a physical issue and that it cannot be healed.

They are also told that even if they have surgery, the success rate is very low, and they will need subsequent surgeries.

This causes women to feel powerless and incapacitated.

The future looks bleak!

29 prolapses healed in the last year in our Unshakeable You program.

These are only the success stories we are allowed to share because we can only share the journeys of the women who received confirmation from a pelvic floor physical therapist or urogynecologist.

Women overcome this by dealing with the emotional patterns created by sexual trauma and inspirational stories of hope from other women who have healed.


RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

JENNIE: That ligaments, fascia, and torn muscles can't heal.

That a prolapse is purely a hernia and can't heal.

We have physical protocols in our program, as well as emotional processes.

However, the human body is more than a meat suit.

We all have an energy field that attracts according to our emotional patterns.

As soon as you start to feel a little differently, you switch on the healing blueprint inside every cell in your body.

Fascia, ligaments, muscles, and tendons are intelligent.

A new reality can find you when your cells react to consciousness rather than negative thinking and feeling.

Many of the women in our program heal in 3-6 months.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

JENNIE: We have a website and YouTube channel where you can delve into our Blueprint and watch inspirational healing stories.

We also run a free weekly masterclass called "3 Secrets to Heal Your Prolapse." The masterclass is a live, interactive group masterclass with Jennie. We deep dive into the Unshakeable You Blueprint.


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I truly appreciate the perspective that Jennie and Duncan bring to this area of growth and healing that too often is not spoken about, and hope you find some encouragement and inspiration from their story!


To finding your path to healing!
Rachel

P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.'

RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Are you ready to put your fears of abandonment

behind you so you can have happy, healthy relationships?

The fear of abandonment is extremely common in those of us who have been abused. When it comes to abandonment, we are very much driven by a fear of the unknown. We do not know if the people we are connecting to may one day withdraw their protection or support.

"People always leave" can be a common inner belief we hold. Some of the behaviors that we fall into as survivors to try to avoid being abandoned can set us up for failure in our relationships.

Boy have I been there! And I can't wait to share with you what helped me put an end to this paralyzing fear.

By participating this master class, you will:

* Gain access to my proven process that will help you feel more confident and secure so you can have a romantic relationship that lasts

* Explore in a safe step-by-step way the destructive false beliefs you have about yourself and others that cause you to run away from relationships

* Identify the toxic behaviors that keep you trapped in a cycle of abandonment and fear and how to overcome them

* Learn practical, easy to use strategies for how to put an end to sabotaging all of your relationships

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

January 13th

HOPE


As survivors going through the healing process, it’s beyond difficult at times to have hope. We may not even want to hope because we don’t feel able to withstand any more hurts and disappointments. And yet hope is what keeps us from death and pulls us toward life. Without hope, we can’t heal.

Learn More & Register Here

Healing Childhood Trauma Through Psychedelic Therapy

I recently connected with Alex Abraham, an author with a powerful story about using psychedelic plant medicine to work through childhood trauma, and I wanted to share a bit of his story and approach to healing with you today.

As a child, Alex was s*xually assaulted by an authority figure. He blocked it out and lived for years with chronic physical symptoms. No treatment or therapy helped.. until he tried psychedelic therapy.

This opened the door to the feelings and emotions he had been suppressing, and to work through his trauma and begin to heal.

This is the first time that Alex has told his story, and he explores the power of psychedelic plant medicine as a tool for healing trauma and transforming mental health, showing perspective to alternative healing.

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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

ALEX: My inspiration to start writing about this topic was my own story. As a young adult, I began having horrible pelvic floor problems. After trying many different modalities for years, I finally stumbled on MDMA assisted psychotherapy in an attempt to fix these physical issues. 

It quickly became clear that I had been badly s*xually abused as a child. Initially, I struggled with this revelation, but over time and through psychedelic medicine, breathwork, and other therapies, I have been able to move through my abuse.

Now, I feel compelled to share my story in hopes of helping others.  

RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

ALEX: A key lesson I have learned through my experience in healing from childhood s*xual abuse, is how much of my day-to-day reality is a choice. 

For example, I used to take things very personally. I saw any comment that wasn’t positive as a criticism and a personal attack.

But these days, I have a much better understanding that it is never personal. And that in the context of my abuse, it was not about me, but about my abuser. 

I was absolutely victimized as a child. But as an adult, I have chosen not to stay a victim (at least most of the time), and now see my abuse as a way for me to grow and evolve as a person (most of the time). 

I think there will always be challenges in life, but how I choose to perceive these challenges is important. 

RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

ALEX: One challenge I have seen is that survivors often do not believe they can heal, or even that they deserve to heal. Being s*xually abused can lead to self-loathing and a lack of belief in one’s self. 

I really struggled with self-love and self-belief, until I started doing psychedelic medicine. Psychedelics helped me reevaluate and ultimately reset many of the default patterns I had established both about myself and my life. Now, I have a much better understanding of how to see through negative thought-patterns and limiting self-beliefs. 

RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

ALEX: Unfortunately, a major misconception many seem to have about childhood s*xual abuse is that it is an uncommon occurrence. It is hard to get exact numbers, but some studies have shown that as many as 1 in 3 girls, and 1 in 6 boys are being s*xually abused as children. 

Another misconception is that the perpetrators of childhood s*xual abuse are often strangers. It is actually often a community member, a family member, or someone the child knows that perpetuates the abuse. 

I was unfortunately abused by a teacher at my elementary school. 

I believe having a better understanding of how common this behavior is can lead to greater awareness and more preventative measures to help children. 

RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

ALEX: Aside from my book, I would recommend the book A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engle on Amazon. This book is a great introduction into psychedelic therapy, and how it can heal all kinds of trauma. 

Other resources I would recommend are holotropic breathwork, a journaling practice, and finding some sort of physical activity that can help survivors get back into their bodies. 

Many childhood s*xual abuse survivors are both physically and emotionally dissociated. I believe all the practices listed above can help survivors get in better touch with themselves, their emotions, and their body. 

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Alex has spent years researching, exploring, and experiencing firsthand therapeutic treatment options for healing from childhood s*xual abuse, and he is currently working on launching a non-profit called Psychedelic Pathways that helps people pay for psychedelic treatments.

I truly appreciate his perspective, and hope you find some encouragement and inspiration from his story!


To finding your path to healing!



P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

Forget everything you think you know about psychedelics. They're not punchlines. They're not party favors for aging hippies. Instead, as Alex Abraham discovered, they are an innovative approach that can help heal trauma and chronic pain.

Trauma and Ecstasy takes a long, hard look at pain, from the sudden unexplained pelvic floor discomfort that afflicted Alex at the end of a trip abroad to the deeply rooted anxiety and shame of a childhood robbed of innocence. In this powerful and courageous memoir, Alex takes you on his journey of healing from sexual abuse while searching for answers to his health issues that traditional medicine failed to explain or treat.

Trauma and Ecstasy is quite likely the most engaging, honest, and compelling memoir of surviving childhood sexual trauma you'll ever read. It offers the hope of real help for healing from the emotional and physical aftermath of abuse and chronic pain.

Get your copy

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Get ready to level up your boundaries game during this live conversation where you'll learn powerful frameworks for setting and honoring your boundaries.

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

November 11th

FAMILY


As survivors of childhood abuse, family can be a continuous problem. In the same way that our families might have failed us as children, they so often fail us again as adults.

Learn More & Register Here