Resources, personal stories, communication techniques, and strategies for survivors of sexual abuse who are ready to break free from the past and return to their genuine self.
January 17, 2011
If You Can't Say Something Nice...
Have you ever heard of "spontaneous trait transference"? Essentially, studies show that, because of this psychological phenomenon, people unintentionally transfer to you the traits that you ascribe to other people.
So, if I tell Nathan that Mark is arrogant and unreliable, Nathan associates that quality with me! On the other hand, if I say that Mark is funny and intelligent, I'm linked to those qualities.
What I say about other people sticks to me - even when I talk to someone who already knows me. So, the next time I find myself wanting to say something critical, I'll do well to be mindful that doing so greatly impacts how people see me!