Rachel Grant Coaching

December 15, 2014

100 miles + 70mph + Amazing People + Protecting Children = 1 Fabulous Day!


I had the great pleasure recently of riding with the Silicon Valley & Santa Cruz chapters of Bikers Against Child Abuse for their annual 100 Mile Ride to raise awareness and money for the organization.

It was a beautiful day and I'm honored to be amongst these men and women who are giving their time, energy, and talents to make sure that children feel safe, empowered, and able to heal.

Check out the ride and what BACA members have to say about why they are a part of the organization!




Learn more about how you can get involved or donate!


With love and gratitude,














Rachel 

December 8, 2014

Coming Out of the Closet

When I saw this video, I just knew I had to share it with you all. The amazing Ash Beckham talks about the "closets" we hide out in -- which she breaks down as the hard conversations we avoid.

As survivors of abuse, we hide. We hold back. We struggle to express ourselves, to ask for what we need -- particularly because we perceive a threat and so shut down, resulting in dire consequences for our body on emotional, neurological, and biological levels.

Take it from Ash -- "hard is hard" -- we all have things we have to say that are difficult. I love that she and I share a particular perspective that our hurts are not comparable or quantifiable. Every hurt matters to the same degree.

My favorite part is when she shares some great tips for how we can have those hard conversations that everything in us wants to avoid but that will bring the most reward at the end of the day. She calls it:

3 Pancake Girl Principles

#1 Be authentic, be real

#2 Be direct, just say it, rip the band-aid off -- don't be vague

#3 Be unapologetic about who you are -- never apologize for speaking your truth





So, I welcome you to be authentic here, be real, say it straight, and be unapologetic.

What's the hard thing you need to say?

December 2, 2014

How to Cope with Eating Through the Holidays-Part 3

This week, we wrap up our series with the wonderful Kristen Kancler in which she shares with us how love, safety, and belonging are key to making the changes we want to make.

Also be sure to check out her free gift, “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!”

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Self-Sabotage


During the 20 years that I struggled with emotional and compulsive eating, there were a lot of ups and down.

Mostly downs, with some fleeting ups interspersed. It really is a difficult place to be. There’s so much involved: how you feel in your body, how you feel about yourself, how you hold yourself back from what you really want.

Through it all, there was one thing that frustrated me more than anything else:

That even though I knew what to do, I still wasn’t doing it.

Why do we do that? Why do we stop ourselves from having what we really want? Why don’t we just get out of our own way and allow ourselves to have what we know is possible for us?

I shared some essential points for transforming your relationship with food and your body in my first two posts. In the first post, I shared that what you eat matters, and that bringing your body into balance is one of the most important things you can do to free yourself from the struggle. In the second post, I spoke to the huge emotional/psychological component that is underneath your cravings and gave you a tool to use to help you through those trigger moments.

There are hundreds of methodologies and tools and practices that will help you lessen, or even disappear the struggle and find peace with food. Maybe you know of some. Maybe you’ve tried them. Maybe you’ve found a level of success or maybe you’ve failed miserably.

But it doesn’t matter how powerful and healing the solution is if you’re not actually able to do it.

Even if you know exactly what to do, and you have it all laid out for you, it’s possible that you still won’t do it. In fact, you’re likely going to have noble intentions… and end up making the same old choices.

Self-sabotage strikes again.

And there is a reason for that. You see, there’s your conscious mind, that has a goal and sees the path and has it all planned out – eat whole foods, balance your blood sugar, feel your emotions when they come up, use the SAFE method when you’re triggered.


You’ve got your plan, you’re inspired to put it into action, and then all these other things start getting in the way – i.e. “life” starts happening.

All sorts of reasons and excuses start to come up: “I’m too tired,” “I’m too busy, I just don’t have the time,” “I’ll start tomorrow,” “I totally forgot!”

And you get frustrated and upset because you should be able to do it. You have a plan, you’re a smart, dedicated woman who’s deeply committed to being healthy!

But there’s also your subconscious mind. As much as your conscious mind likes to think that it’s in charge, your subconscious mind is actually running 95% of the show. And your subconscious mind sees change as a threat.

So no matter how amazing your plan is, you won’t be able to follow it unless you address the underlying reason you’re staying stuck.

Each of us has unique programming that was formed when you were young, that tells you when it’s okay to go forward, and when it’s not.

And it all comes back to your three basic human needs: Love, Safety, Belonging. In other words, you have beliefs around what you need to be, do, or have in order to feel like you are loved, safe, and like you belong.

And these beliefs have gotten you to where you are now. Your current way of being is keeping you safe in your belief system.

And as you reach for what you want (whether that’s eating better, exercising more, taking time for yourself, or losing weight)… these things are somehow, in some way, outside of your current belief system for love, safety, and belonging. And so your beliefs start pulling you back to what is safe and familiar.

I want you to really get this.

Your current default eating habits exist for a reason. You created yourself and your situation perfectly, based on what you believe for yourself in order to have love, safety, and belonging in tact.


And doing anything differently that might give you a different way of being, is not aligned with keeping love, safety, and belonging in tact.

Your programming and subconscious beliefs about what you need to do, be, or have to keep the feelings of love, safety, and belonging in tact are taking over!

One of my clients came to me saying that one of the things that she wanted was to lose weight and shine her light. But as we worked together, we uncovered an underlying fear that if she loses weight and shines her light, well, shining her light will attract attention. She’ll start getting noticed by men and because of a very traumatic incident in her past, getting that attention feels incredibly unsafe for her.

It lived for her like a dangerous inner conflict on a subconscious level. She wasn’t even aware that this was happening, but the underlying belief was, “If I lose weight, I won’t be safe.”

Until she was able to feel safe, at a subconscious level, she just wasn’t going to be able to make the changes in her life that she knew she had to make. And she wasn’t going to release the weight!

So if you don’t shift your beliefs, then your subconscious mind will find creative ways to stop you from losing weight.

And that can look like a binge, that can look like living out your same patterns, and that can look like, “I’m too tired,” “I’m too busy, I just don’t have the time,” “I’ll start tomorrow,” “I totally forgot!”

Sound familiar?

In order to change your habits and your relationship with food, you have to shift your beliefs around love, safety, and belonging, so that they align with what you want. So they don’t hold you back.

Basically, your subconscious mind has to be on board.

So you can stop beating yourself up for not being able to follow through on what you know to it. It’s not your fault! Your subconscious mind is just trying to keep you safe.

If you want to learn more, I’ll be sharing how you can get your subconscious mind on board and move powerfully toward freedom on Rachel’s upcoming radio show (December 9th at 6pm PST ) about 4 Simple Ways to End Emotional Eating and Enjoy the Holidays Without Sacrificing Your Waistline!

 
Mark your calendars and tune in here on December 9th at 6pm PST!



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Kristen Anne Kancler is an Emotional Eating Expert and the founder of “Your Delicious Life,” a one-on-one program for women who daydream about how fabulous they’ll feel once they get their eating under control but end up on the couch with a pint of ice cream.

By getting to the root of what creates your sabotaging patterns, she works with you, personally, to help you put down the spoon… wave goodbye to “I’ll be better tomorrow”… and say, “YES!” to a delicious life – today.

Former Health and Wellness Editor for Glam Media, graduate of UC Santa Barbara and the Natural Gourmet Institute for Health in Manhattan, and reformed pastry chef, Kristen is a role model for healthy eating and living a delicious lifestyle.

After struggling with diets, compulsive eating, and sugar addiction for 20 years, she finally found the answers she needed to find peace with food, feel healthy in her body, and fall deeply and sweetly in love with her life.

November 24, 2014

How to Cope with Eating Through the Holidays -Part 2

This week, we continue our series with the wonderful Kristen Kancler in which she shares with us how we can be SAFE around food. If you missed last week's post, check it out here.  

Also be sure to check out her free gift, “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!”

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Navigating Trigger Situations

Thanksgiving, the most notorious day for overeating, is just a few days away. And with it, the holiday season will be official.

Whether you’ll be hosting for others, traveling to them, dining with dozens of family members, or celebrating solo, chances are you’ll be faced with a multitude of emotions.

Perhaps you’ll feel joy and excitement. Maybe stress and overwhelm. Maybe sadness.

For many of us, and survivors of sexual abuse in particular, these emotions can trigger a compulsion to eat. And you end up feeling out of control, seeking comfort from your food.

In my first post of this series, I shared one of the most powerful things you can do to feel balanced and in control.

But being in control isn’t just about knowing what to eat. It’s also necessary to look at why you’re eating. What’s going on that you’re turning to food for comfort?

These answers are deeper inside; they’re underneath your cravings.


A large part of the work I do with my clients is helping you get in tune with your emotions on an ongoing basis so that you’re actually in the world differently and able to move through situations with grace and ease.

But I think the most powerful tip I can give you right now is for how to deal with the in-the-moment trigger situations.

After looking closely at how I’ve successfully navigated my own trigger situations, I came up with a 4-step process (plus an acronym to help you remember it):

This is my SAFE – which is great because that’s what you most need to feel when you’re triggered.
 

Step 1: S = Surroundings

Change them. Pull over the car. Get out of the kitchen. Step outside. Changing your environment snaps your brain out of the one-way train it was on and suddenly has to take in new input from new surroundings. The first thing you need to do to interrupt the pattern is change your surroundings. 

Step 2: A = Arrive

Be in the new space. Take a minute just to land, and get present. This is really a crucial step. 

Step 3: F = Feel

Allow yourself to feel what’s there. What just happened? What’s going on? How are you feeling? Are you angry? Disappointed or stressed? This is the thing you’re wanting to eat over. And sometimes just naming the emotion can be a huge relief. 

Step 4: E = Explore

Ask yourself: “What do I really need?” (And I’ll give you a hint: it’s not a cookie). Maybe you need to take a deep breath. Maybe you need to have a good cry. Maybe something really upsetting just happened. Maybe you need to laugh – you’ve been stressed all day and need some lightness in your life. Take 2 minutes to yourself. More if you can.

 

It makes all the difference going through this process, getting out of the triggered moment and tapped in to your emotions.

A lot of the women I work with have disconnected from their feelings. They brush them aside, laugh them off, or put on a front because it’s scary and uncomfortable to feel what’s really going on inside.

But here’s something that I really want you to get: the only thing your feeling wants is to be felt. So when you brush it aside or bury it, it doesn’t go away, it gets stronger.

And you have to eat more and more to keep it quiet. That’s why it’s so important to feel your feelings. So you can move through them and let them go.

One of my clients came to me feeling stressed and overwhelmed at work. She didn’t feel confident and she found that she was triggered and turning to food to calm herself down.

She started practicing the SAFE exercise as a tool to deal with things in the moment. She started to feel more in control, which was great! And then we did an exercise (which I’ll share with you in my next post) to find where the lack of confidence and overwhelm originated from. We discovered that it went back to an incident when she was really young, and the thing that was missing in her life was play!

So she started painting on the weekends and found that it opened her mind, sparked her creativity, and her flow.


She was able to tap in to her intuition, learn to trust herself, and let go of trying so hard to prove herself all the time.

Her life opened up in an entirely new way and she felt more confident than she had in years. And doing that released her need to turn to food because she wasn’t stressed out all the time.

She was able to bring balance to her life and trust that she has all the answers she needs inside.

Healing emotional eating is a layered process. There are many aspects to it. Some great places to start are by balancing your body with these 3 steps, trying some of my favorite recipes (download my free e-book, “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!”) and following my SAFE process when you’re triggered.

With these tips, you can have a completely new – and empowered holiday season.

In my final post next week, I’ll be diving into self-sabotage. You’ll learn what’s really happening – and what you need to do to finally follow through and transform your relationship with food and your body. Stay tuned!


To get your copy of “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!” go to www.kristenkancler.com and be sure to come back next week to learn more!



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Kristen Anne Kancler is an Emotional Eating Expert and the founder of “Your Delicious Life,” a one-on-one program for women who daydream about how fabulous they’ll feel once they get their eating under control but end up on the couch with a pint of ice cream.

By getting to the root of what creates your sabotaging patterns, she works with you, personally, to help you put down the spoon… wave goodbye to “I’ll be better tomorrow”… and say, “YES!” to a delicious life – today.

Former Health and Wellness Editor for Glam Media, graduate of UC Santa Barbara and the Natural Gourmet Institute for Health in Manhattan, and reformed pastry chef, Kristen is a role model for healthy eating and living a delicious lifestyle.

After struggling with diets, compulsive eating, and sugar addiction for 20 years, she finally found the answers she needed to find peace with food, feel healthy in her body, and fall deeply and sweetly in love with her life.

November 18, 2014

How to Cope with Eating Through the Holidays -Part 1

Oh man, am I ever excited to be bringing this next series to you! Written by the fabulous Kristen Kancler, who is not only an amazing woman, but also a gifted and caring Emotional Eating Expert. I know you are going to get so much from what she has to share with us! Be sure to check out her free gift, “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!”

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Nourishing Your Body (With Food and Love)

As someone who struggled with food and her body for 20 years, I know how difficult it is to eat healthy and feel good – especially during the holidays. My desire is for you to enter the holiday season feeling empowered that you can enjoy the holidays feeling healthy and vibrant!

I’ve put together some of the tips and mindset shifts that have helped me the most, and that have helped my clients with their own transformations. May they serve you, too.

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My eating disorder began immediately after the abuse.

Feeling completely out of control, I focused on the one thing I knew I could control: what I ate.

I started eating like a bird and looking at my belly every day in the mirror, judging how I felt about myself by how small my waist was. It started out innocently enough, I just wasn’t eating much for a while. I was pretty thin to begin with, just 12 years old, so I didn’t have much weight to spare. The smaller I got, the better I felt.

But I remember looking in the mirror one day and saw that I was the thinnest I had been since this whole thing began. And instead of feeling excited as I usually did – I felt terrified. I was shocked at what I saw in the mirror.

“Wait a second – I just wanted to lose a few pounds… I didn’t want to be dangerously thin.”

 
I remember, quite vividly, heart racing, running out to the kitchen, throwing myself on the floor, and opening the cupboard.

“EAT,” I told myself.

I found a box of Triscuits and shoved a few in my mouth. But to my dismay, I couldn’t eat more than that. I had no appetite. I thought I would be starving for food, but it repulsed me.

And somewhere, hidden just underneath the fear and disappointment, was a glimmer of joy. A very twisted joy. The realization hit that I had full command of my body – and of my ability to punish and starve myself.

Something was born in me at that moment: I learned how to hate myself.


I felt powerful. In control.

I continued to starve myself until I broke, about a year later. What followed were 20 years of bulimia, dieting, and compulsive eating, trying desperately to not eat, binging when I couldn’t go on, and purging any way I could.

My journey to healing was a long one, with many twists and turns along the way. I did a lot of inner work with psychiatrist, psychologists, therapists, and holistic healers.

Over time, I began to love myself, slowly but surely. I stopped a lot of my destructive behaviors: binge drinking, smoking, drugs… I started caring for myself more, and being good to my body.

But the one thing I didn’t seem to be able to do was to eat well. I tried to eat healthier. I tried being vegan and vegetarian, I tried eating more salads, I ate low-fat/low-calorie foods, and I tried any diet I could get my hands on to get my food under control.

It wasn’t until I cleaned up my diet and discovered how to balance my blood sugar that everything started to fall into place. And once I learned about my body’s physiology, and how dieting was setting me up to fail, I was finally free from the destructive cycles of binging and hating myself.

Balancing your blood sugar is one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself. And as you enter the holidays, when cravings and binges can get out of control, it’s more important than ever.

Here’s how to bring your body into balance in 3 simple steps:
 

1.    In every meal and snack, be sure to include:

Quality protein (meat, fish, chicken, turkey, Greek yogurt)
Healthy fats (avocado, extra virgin olive oil, nuts, seeds)
Complex carbs (whole grains – brown rice, quinoa, whole wheat, fruits and veg)

2.    Eat every 3-4 hours

3.    Distribute your calories equally throughout the day

These 3 things are critical – and, this is a guideline. The specifics are different for each person depending on your tastes and preferences, needs, and what your body responds to. For some delicious recipes to get you started, download my free e-book, “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!”

When I work with my private clients, I give customized recipes to help you nourish your body, balance your blood sugar, and feel in control. We see how your body responds by having you really tune in and connect to your body and your intuition.

For one of my clients, this is one of the most transformational things we’ve done together. She came to me addicted to sugar, feeling trapped and burdened.

One of her biggest goals in working with me was for her body to start craving healthy food. She said that would be a miracle.

After working together for just a couple of months, eating healthy, balanced meals, and experiencing a remarkable shift in her relationship with food and her body, in one of our sessions, she said, “I feel like a grown up eating good and on purpose and I want to!”

Her sugar cravings are gone and she’s released about 25lbs so far.

But the freedom she now has to make healthy choices that are aligned with her goals and what she wants for herself and the healthy lifestyle she’s embraced, has given her an ease and lightness that she brings to her entire life.

To get your copy of “6 Simple Recipes to Satisfy Your Sweet Tooth – Without Sugar!” go to www.kristenkancler.com and be sure to come back next week to learn more!



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Kristen Anne Kancler is an Emotional Eating Expert and the founder of “Your Delicious Life,” a one-on-one program for women who daydream about how fabulous they’ll feel once they get their eating under control but end up on the couch with a pint of ice cream.

By getting to the root of what creates your sabotaging patterns, she works with you, personally, to help you put down the spoon… wave goodbye to “I’ll be better tomorrow”… and say, “YES!” to a delicious life – today.

Former Health and Wellness Editor for Glam Media, graduate of UC Santa Barbara and the Natural Gourmet Institute for Health in Manhattan, and reformed pastry chef, Kristen is a role model for healthy eating and living a delicious lifestyle.

After struggling with diets, compulsive eating, and sugar addiction for 20 years, she finally found the answers she needed to find peace with food, feel healthy in her body, and fall deeply and sweetly in love with her life.



Resources, personal stories, communication techniques, and strategies for survivors of sexual abuse who are ready to break free from the past and return to their genuine self.