June 23, 2019

How to get started on anything...

This week, Contessa Akin shares one of her favorite tools for accessing empowered feelings so you can get into action!

---

Getting started on anything can feel heavy, impossible, too big. This is all a normal response to trauma, you are not alone. I've said it before and it is worth repeating, we don't get to control what emotions come up for us, but we absolutely can choose what emotions to live with.

In this video, from the heart, a fantastic way to bring your past successes to today and that is all that you need to get going. One side note here, no matter how hard or cruel life has been to you, you do in fact have the success that you can use to help you out today!


Put it to the test, watch the video and decide what your next smallest step is, follow through and decide for yourself.





Take a stand, use your voice, share your story!

Continue the conversation with fellow Rebels at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com.






---
“Do you have a plan?" asked the lady on the other end of the phone. Sitting on the couch, my babies were climbing up my legs, smiling, patting me; I was gazing straight ahead, I was so numbed out that I didn’t even realize my husband called a suicide crisis hotline for me.

Up to that moment I had been a victim. I experienced a wide range of abuse in my entire life. At six years old, I was raped by a stranger, a rape that was facilitated by my biological mother and where my half-sister guarded the door. I was betrayed by the very people who were supposed to protect me and hold me dear.

The initial abuse led to the next abuse and the abuse after that. I attached myself to guilt instead of anger, shame instead of resentment, responsibility instead of blame. The world had taught me no one could be trusted, no one could be counted on, and no one would be there for me when I needed them most.

From a young age, I had been in counseling, attended group meetings, read the self-help books, been called to the school's counselor office, joined the military, moved around the world. None of that made any difference. I was still in pain and super frustrated.

In that instant of hearing that questions, “Do you have a plan?” I had a thought that occurred that wasn’t about just me and my pain, I considered my kids just might get hurt. Killing myself would be betraying them just my biological mother betrayed me. I knew the pain that they would have to endure.  So, I made a decision. I was going to be honest with myself. Being honest was me opening the roadmap to a new possibility.

You can connect with me in our private Facebook Group at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com
Contessa Akin is an Intuitive Life Coach, World Class Rebel, Speaker, and Author

June 16, 2019

Worry....What to do about it!

This week, Contessa Akin shares one of her favorite tools for how to "take charge" of the worrying by becoming more intentional and thoughtful about when we worry!

---

Are you like me and have 20 tabs open on your computer? On your phone? 

Our brain operates in a similar fashion when you worry, you are opening up a new tab.

Counter-intuitively to what we think, the tool in this video is all about worrying ON purpose! That's right, we are going to worry.






Take a stand, use your voice, share your story!

Continue the conversation with fellow Rebels at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com.





---
“Do you have a plan?" asked the lady on the other end of the phone. Sitting on the couch, my babies were climbing up my legs, smiling, patting me; I was gazing straight ahead, I was so numbed out that I didn’t even realize my husband called a suicide crisis hotline for me.


Up to that moment I had been a victim. I experienced a wide range of abuse in my entire life. At six years old, I was raped by a stranger, a rape that was facilitated by my biological mother and where my half-sister guarded the door. I was betrayed by the very people who were supposed to protect me and hold me dear.


The initial abuse led to the next abuse and the abuse after that. I attached myself to guilt instead of anger, shame instead of resentment, responsibility instead of blame. The world had taught me no one could be trusted, no one could be counted on, and no one would be there for me when I needed them most.


From a young age, I had been in counseling, attended group meetings, read the self-help books, been called to the school's counselor office, joined the military, moved around the world. None of that made any difference. I was still in pain and super frustrated.


In that instant of hearing that questions, “Do you have a plan?” I had a thought that occurred that wasn’t about just me and my pain, I considered my kids just might get hurt. Killing myself would be betraying them just my biological mother betrayed me. I knew the pain that they would have to endure.  So, I made a decision. I was going to be honest with myself. Being honest was me opening the roadmap to a new possibility.

You can connect with me in our private Facebook Group at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com
Contessa Akin is an Intuitive Life Coach, World Class Rebel, Speaker, and Author

June 9, 2019

How to Build Trust with Yourself

This week, Contessa Akin shares her perspective on how we can learn to trust ourselves, which is a stepping stone to being able to trust others.

---

Trust is one of the first things to go when you've been abused. Not trusting others really comes back to not trusting ourselves.  

In this video, I give you a simple two step process for building trust with yourself, even when you think you might be the most trusting person on planet earth....like I did.


You CAN trust yourself! Trust yourself to keep you safe, to make good decisions, to follow through!



Take a stand, use your voice, share your story!



Continue the conversation with fellow Rebels at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com.





---
“Do you have a plan?" asked the lady on the other end of the phone. Sitting on the couch, my babies were climbing up my legs, smiling, patting me; I was gazing straight ahead, I was so numbed out that I didn’t even realize my husband called a suicide crisis hotline for me.


Up to that moment I had been a victim. I experienced a wide range of abuse in my entire life. At six years old, I was raped by a stranger, a rape that was facilitated by my biological mother and where my half-sister guarded the door. I was betrayed by the very people who were supposed to protect me and hold me dear.


The initial abuse led to the next abuse and the abuse after that. I attached myself to guilt instead of anger, shame instead of resentment, responsibility instead of blame. The world had taught me no one could be trusted, no one could be counted on, and no one would be there for me when I needed them most.


From a young age, I had been in counseling, attended group meetings, read the self-help books, been called to the school's counselor office, joined the military, moved around the world. None of that made any difference. I was still in pain and super frustrated.


In that instant of hearing that questions, “Do you have a plan?” I had a thought that occurred that wasn’t about just me and my pain, I considered my kids just might get hurt. Killing myself would be betraying them just my biological mother betrayed me. I knew the pain that they would have to endure.  So, I made a decision. I was going to be honest with myself. Being honest was me opening the roadmap to a new possibility.

You can connect with me in our private Facebook Group at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com
Contessa Akin is an Intuitive Life Coach, World Class Rebel, Speaker, and Author

June 4, 2019

How to Be Brave When You Don't Feel Like It!

This week, I bring to you Contessa Akin, bad ass beyond survivor, healer, and bright light in this world. She is going to share with you some of her favorite tips and skills for healing. In this post, she explores how perfectionism and the fear of failure block "brave-ability".

---

When we experience abuse, it can be difficult to find the motivation to "want to." 

The truth is, we don't control what emotions come up for us, but we absolutely can choose what emotions we want to live with.  

In this video, I give you 4 Rebel F words that will help you be brave even if you don't "feel" like it!



Take a stand, use your voice, share your story!

Continue the conversation with fellow Rebels at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com.





---
“Do you have a plan?" asked the lady on the other end of the phone. Sitting on the couch, my babies were climbing up my legs, smiling, patting me; I was gazing straight ahead, I was so numbed out that I didn’t even realize my husband called a suicide crisis hotline for me.


Up to that moment I had been a victim. I experienced a wide range of abuse in my entire life. At six years old, I was raped by a stranger, a rape that was facilitated by my biological mother and where my half-sister guarded the door. I was betrayed by the very people who were supposed to protect me and hold me dear.


The initial abuse led to the next abuse and the abuse after that. I attached myself to guilt instead of anger, shame instead of resentment, responsibility instead of blame. The world had taught me no one could be trusted, no one could be counted on, and no one would be there for me when I needed them most.


From a young age, I had been in counseling, attended group meetings, read the self-help books, been called to the school's counselor office, joined the military, moved around the world. None of that made any difference. I was still in pain and super frustrated.


In that instant of hearing that questions, “Do you have a plan?” I had a thought that occurred that wasn’t about just me and my pain, I considered my kids just might get hurt. Killing myself would be betraying them just my biological mother betrayed me. I knew the pain that they would have to endure.  So, I made a decision. I was going to be honest with myself. Being honest was me opening the roadmap to a new possibility.

You can connect with me in our private Facebook Group at www.RebelRisingFBGroup.com
Contessa Akin is an Intuitive Life Coach, World Class Rebel, Speaker, and Author

May 21, 2019

The Imposition of the Narcissistic Parent: A Hidden Volcano – Part 4

This week, Rivka Edery, helps you visit your own personal Garden of Eden, and the wisdom it will reveal for your unique journey.


---
This article is the fourth and last in a series in which I discuss the relationship between the fear of authority figures, because of narcissistic parenting (devoid of empathy, pathologically selfish and entitled, exceedingly arrogant, grandiose, liar, empty self-obsession). The relational form of narcissistic parenting is one of inherent bullying, chronic demands for narcissistic demands, imposition, suffocating, demeaning and demanding - cementing the pain with a lack of empathy. The child of a narcissistic parent is trapped in their parent’s underground land of Fake Make Believe, where the parent is the ever-looming omnipotent despotic ruler. The child has no escape, but to create defenses of their own, purely for survival. The narcissistic parent is thoroughly convinced of their Fake Make-Believe land, constantly forcing the child to step into the picture the parent carved out for them.

Perhaps the child becomes resilient, well-defended, and determined never to be bullied again.  Such a person may employ their belief system that “all authority figures are bullies, to be feared, hated, admired, emulated, or avoided.”  Some children will identify with the aggressor, in this case, their narc parent, in order to ensure they won’t be abandoned, hurt, betrayed or abused, as they have oft-times witnessed the narc to do to everyone else. Fear and a False Self can become the child’s only companion, as they battle an impossible, frightening Medusa. 
  
Please join me this week, as we visit your own personal Garden of Eden, and the wisdom it will reveal for your unique journey. 

Close your eyes and imagine it is a warm summer day, late in June. The sun is laughingly kissing the fields, children tumble on the soft dirt, and insects, flies, bees, birds and animals all seem to think they were one on this precious day of light. You are in your own personal garden, humming along as you tend to your precious plants, fruits and vegetables, all nourishing each other.  


In the middle of your garden, there is a small pond of happy fish, dancing to the tune of their own harmony. Hear the sweet laughter of children, cheerful Bambi, and the elderly neighbors who find every reason to smile when they see you.

As you sit on the comfortable bench, you are visited by a part of yourself that you have long-rejected. Perhaps you have a deep-seated terror of rejection or abandonment, of being unlovable, alone, unworthy of love and belonging. You can give this part of you a playful nickname, something that will allow you to bring this long-forgotten part of you, closer to you, to sit beside you and share its wisdom.  

Imagine that you can have a conversation with that part of you, allowing it to talk with you about how it came to be, what are its aches, pains, and wisdom for healing. 

Choose any part of you and imagine that it has come from behind its hiding place and is now cautiously approaching you. You may be surprised to discover that it is like a small child, with eager eyes, filled with pools of hurt, kindness and intimidation.  

Perhaps this child is a solitary thinker brainwashed and tricked, holding on to old thinking, outdated, and without corroboration. Lovingly tell this part that you are here; available and willing to love, nurture and guide it back to wholeness.  Explain that s/he is not responsible for the cruel and cold parenting they were subjected to, and that you are ever-present for them. 

You may be surprised that what you have most long-dreaded, is nothing but a sweet and lost child who will grow into a healthy and healed part. Breathe deeply and watch a once-suffering part of you giggle and skip in the open garden.  

The volcano will always be there, where you can learn from the energy of your wounds, but you don’t have to live there.  

The open garden will always have its arms outstretched, daily awaiting your visitation, where you rest, rejuvenate and love yourself to genuine, ever-lasting resolution and healing. 
  



---


Rivka A. Edery, Psy.D. (Candidate), M.S.W., L.C.S.W., (RivkaEdery.com) is a highly intuitive licensed clinical social worker specializing in trauma recovery and spirituality. Her books include Trauma and Transformation: A 12-Step Guide and Hear Me Sing, Book I.  Since 2009, she has been working as a psychotherapist, assisting clients who are recovering from trauma-related disorders. She has assisted trauma survivors in achieving safety, reducing their troublesome symptoms, increasing their competencies, to review and reappraise their trauma memories, and consolidate their gains by learning and applying new behavioral, emotional, physical and spiritual skills. The focus is a very positive one, encouraging her clients to adapt a more loving, empathic, and honorable understanding of themselves.  

For a full list of her publications, credentials, and ways to get in contact with Rivka Edery, please visit her website at http://www.rivkaedery.com



















Sign up for my free guide so you can stop spinning your wheels and instead navigate your way through each stage of recovery with ease and clarity. Get the support you need today