I love having other women in my life who own their own businesses to support me, hold me accountable, and to inspire me!
So, I was out to lunch with a girlfriend the other day, and as we do - we check in with each other about our work - What's working? What's bringing you life? What's feeling like a drag?She shared that she's noticing that she works really well under pressure -- like when the deadline is looming -- but that she's in a program in which they are really encouraging her to "bring more ease" into her process by starting sooner on things, finding her "internal why", etc. --- which, overall, I dig.
BUT!
It made me immediately think of the framework that Gretchen Rubin offers in her book, "The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People's Lives Better, Too)".
I know one thing about my personality - it responds like, "What the hell, Gretchen - that's the longest subtitle evah - reign it in!!! :D
Rubin was inspired to explore the question, "How do I respond to expectations?"
From her inquiry, she identified four tendencies that people fall into when it comes to making decisions, meeting deadlines, and more.
These four tendencies are:
The Upholder: Discipline is my freedom. Upholders tend to meet both inner and outer expectations.
The Questioner: I'll comply - if you convince me why. Questioners resist outer expectations and meet inner expectations.
The Obliger: You can count on me and I'm counting on you to count on me. Meets outer expectations and resists inner expectations.
The Rebel: You can't make me, and neither can I. Resists both outer and inner expectations.
As my friend shared, I immediately pegged her as an Obliger -- she needs those outer expectations to move her energy, to get into action, and move to completion with things.
Me? I'm an upholder more often than not and sometimes show up as a questioner depending on the context.
I loved sharing about this with my friend, because she immediately felt a release of pressure. Sure, she can always cultivate more ease and build systems that support her in making daily progress on tasks, but her knowing that having outer expectations was just her jam - helped her find a place of acceptance for how she works!
Which of the four tendencies do you most identify with?
Are there ways that you could use this framework to better understand how you make decisions, how you work with others, how you live your life?
I bet so!
To doing you!
Watch: Gretchen Rubin shares about how the four tendencies can support changing habits! 
What judgments do you have about each of the four tendencies?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
During her multibook investigation into understanding human nature, Gretchen Rubin realized that by asking the seemingly dry question "How do I respond to expectations?" we gain explosive self-knowledge. She discovered that based on their answer, people fit into Four Tendencies: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. Our Tendency shapes every aspect of our behavior, so using this framework allows us to make better decisions, meet deadlines, suffer less stress, and engage more effectively.
UPCOMING EVENTS
SEPTEMBER 13th
Creativity in Recovery:
This month, we talk about the creative channels we can use to heal.
Creativity in Recovery:
This month, we talk about the creative channels we can use to heal.
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