February 12, 2014

How to Call In Lasting Love & Orgasms

In the conclusion to our series on sex, relationships, and healing sexual trauma with Ben and Jen Rode and Valerie Taormina, Ben wraps things up with us by sharing tips to call love into our lives and to train our minds and bodies to make new, healthier -- might I say orgasmic -- associations.

I know I have learned and gained so much from this series and am so thankful for having these amazing folks in my life. By the way, if you missed my interview with them on Real Talk with Rachel last night, you can listen to the recording here!


WOW!!! Can I just take a minute to acknowledge Valerie Taormina for her amazing articles the last 3 weeks? You wouldn’t believe how often people ask us, “What about the men?” when we’re talking about our business, and we always tell them about Valerie’s incredible work and how transformational and cutting edge she is on the male side of the spectrum. Jen and I are so grateful for the work she does!!!

Ok, so we’ve covered a LOT over the last 5 weeks, and it’s time to wrap everything up in a nice little bow. The question now is, “What do you do now that you’ve gone down into the hard stuff and cleared out the mucky muck?” When all someone has known their entire life is relationships that haven’t worked or haven’t gone as deep as you would’ve liked, it can feel like you’re searching around with the lights off. Let’s bring some clarity into your life and turn the lights back on, shall we? Let’s bring in that perfect partner for you, or deepen the intimacy with the one you have now!!!

Let’s jump right in!

I’ll speak to the single folks first. We all know by now that we draw things in through our thoughts, intentions and vibration. So when we haven’t been bringing in the ideal relationships, it’s time to stop doing everything that we’ve been doing that we think has been right, and start having different thoughts, intentions and vibrations. It’s time to readjust your compass! Up until now, your compass has been pointing at what hasn’t been working simply because that’s the relationship model you’ve seen in the past, and you don’t have a better model to go off of just yet. When you’re focusing on what you don’t want, that’s the energy you’re putting out, and that’s what you’re bringing back in. It’s a perfect system. You think, “Why do I keep getting men who only care about themselves…” or, “Men can’t handle me” or “There aren’t any good men left.” Well, as long as you keep thinking that, you will continue proving yourself right, because that is what your compass is pointed at. Let’s readjust your compass so that your thoughts are pointed at how amazing men are and how much they love you. Let’s focus on the men who are looking for EXACTLY who you are and want to give you everything. The men who want to treat you like a queen. Men, all this stuff is exactly the same when it comes to you looking for your woman too, I just tend to always talk to the women because they are our primary clients…

When you get really clear on what it is that you want and readjust your compass to THAT, your perfect partner can come in immediately. It doesn’t always happen immediately, but it can. So here is what we do with our clients after we’ve cleared all the limiting beliefs and negative patterns. We put them into hypnosis and walk them through what it is going to FEEL like to meet their perfect partner. The entire session is about being in the feeling place of that encounter and really connecting to the vibration so when you meet that person in the physical, you will KNOW on a deep body level who they are, and they will most likely know you as well. So take the time to close your eyes and walk yourself through what it is going to feel like to meet the one who is going to be with you forever. Take them home and make love with them. Laugh with them. Cry with them. Snuggle with them. Communicate with them wherever they are in the world right now simply by “thinking to them” whatever it is you want them to hear, and then listen for a reply. This is the energy you want to be in every day until this person strolls into your life.

Now here’s the tricky part. You might meet someone after doing this who seems like they fit that feeling and then have it not work out. It’s easy to think, “SEE?? I knew this woo woo crap doesn’t work!” That is what we call getting sucked back into old paradigm. When you’re stepping into “New Paradigm” from “Old Paradigm,” Old Paradigm will do everything in its power to suck you right back in, because that’s been the pattern, and it’s way easier to go back into old pattern than stick with the new pattern. Our lizard brain only has one function, and that is to recognize patterns in order to help it survive. If our lizard brain comes up against something it doesn’t recognize, it will steer you away from it and scare you with thoughts of fear and death in order to make sure you comply and therefore stay alive. You can see that this lizard brain takes its job very seriously…

The important thing to do in this situation is to NOT go directly back to thinking about what didn’t work even if that’s exactly what your lizard brain wants you to do (very serious ;) ). When this happens, focus on the feeling of what you liked about the relationship, and send the intention into the universe to help you draw in that energy again, PLUS some new things. Maybe he/she was good looking and funny and great in bed, but they’re not looking for a relationship. GREAT!!! You’re so close to bringing in exactly what you’re looking for. Now it’s just a matter of staying in the feeling place of being in a relationship with someone who is good looking and funny and good in bed and now add to that feeling the vibration of being with someone who is ready to go deep into a committed relationship!!! Don’t throw the good out with the bad! You just brought in something that was working for what it was, which was getting you into the feeling place of some very important stuff on your list. Find a way to be grateful for every experience!!!

If you’re already in a relationship, it’s imperative that you are ALWAYS looking to be in a new paradigm. As soon as you get stuck in old paradigm, that is when relationships grow stagnant or fall apart. Always be asking yourself, “How can we grow as a couple TODAY?” Relationships always need to be minute by minute explorations of love. I tell my wife I love her 100 times a day. She is my queen, and I am always looking for ways to serve her. Any time I’m not doing that, it’s because I’m slipping back into old paradigm, which is me being sarcastic and “funny” (although my wife doesn’t think it’s funny…” rather than loving and accepting. And remember; All love is self-love, all judgment is self-judgment, and all love is self-love. And really, the only thing that’s REAL is love.

Ok, here’s the part where we talk about the magic of Gspot orgasm. I’ll be quick, I promise :) In Neurolinguistics Programming, they have something called an anchor which is a unique stimulus (a sound, touch, smell etc.) that creates a physiological response. For example, you’re at a coffee shop and you smell your ex’s cologne or perfume, and it takes you right back to the feeling of that relationship, doesn’t it. Or your old song that you used to listen to together. A collapse anchor is when you do something even more powerful that basically records over that old anchor. So now, instead of thinking of your ex when you smell that cologne or perfume, you think of an entirely new experience.

Here’s how we use the “anchor” model. We ALL have something anchored to our sexuality. To physical touch specifically. When we are intimate, our lover is firing off all of those old anchors, some of which may cause one to disassociate from their body or to have an adverse reaction. We want to create a better anchor. One that is more useful for going deep into intimacy and really experiencing infinitely more love and pleasure. So, the first half of the session is allowing all the shit that’s deep down inside to come up to the
surface, and then we *BOOOOOM!* collapse it all with 30 minutes of Full Release Gspot orgasm. To say it differently; we let whatever blocks there are to intimacy and to what we call Moregasm (more orgasm), come up, then we help her work through those things, and then we give her a new experience of herself and of what she thinks is possible. Once she has this new experience, the old negative experience falls securely back into the “Old Paradigm” category, and the new experience of freedom and release and ecstasy carries over into “New Paradigm,” which is where we should all strive to be because growth is where the magic is when it comes to relationships and personal development.

This is EXACTLY what we are teaching people how to do for themselves and for their lovers in our Explosive Sexual Healing training course coming up at our retreat center in May. You can learn more here: www.ExplosiveSexualHealing.com/training.

We hope to see you there! And if you can’t make it, I’m still here for you to answer questions, so just shoot me an email at trust@ExplosiveSexualHealing.com and we’ll get you squared away!

Thanks so much for following us over this 6 week journey!!!

In service,
Ben Rode


Ben and Jen Rode are living their life purpose, helping women bring in their man, money and purpose and helping them to fully embody the divine feminine, while honoring and supporting the divine masculine. They have created their own healing modality that uses the state of orgasm to plant post-hypnotic suggestions or affirmations. They are continuing to tear down the restrictions that have been placed on female sexuality, and are paving the way for all kinds of sexual healers to emerge through their upcoming TV show. They are here to make sexual healing mainstream, and to normalize Explosive Sexual Healing by making it the next hypnotherapy, the next reiki, the next talk therapy. 

Go to the website below and learn more about their transformational workshops.

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