January 7, 2014

Get What You Want In Bed to Get What You Want in Life

I am so excited to kick off this six week series on sex, relationships, and healing sexual trauma with Ben and Jen Rode and Valerie Taormina. In my work with survivors, I've come to understand the absolute importance of reclaiming our sexuality and opening the doors again to intimacy and orgasms. I know you are going to get so much out of this series! 


The statistics say that 1 in 4 women have experienced some sort of sexual abuse. Unfortunately, we feel that the numbers are actually much higher. The majority of women who come into our practice have been sexually abused at some point, and only TWO of them reported it. The interesting thing is that the women who come to us who haven’t had any sexual abuse often display several of the same self-destructive or isolating patterns, and our theory is that sexual abuse is just a part of the collective unconscious. It’s a part of our culture. We are part of a society who sells through sex and then shames us for buying. We are shamed for everything about our sexuality, even though it is a natural human NEED that we then deprive ourselves of. Like food, water and sleep, sex/physical contact is something we need to live a fulfilling life. It’s in our DNA. We are wired to crave sex in order to guarantee that we never stop procreating. We are created through sex. We are born through sex. We are sex in every cell of our body. To shame us for sex is like shaming us for drinking water or for sleeping, and yet this is one way our society controls us.

We are taught from a young age that sex is bad and touching ourselves will get us a ticket straight to hell. So what do we do? Well, we can’t talk about it, so we internalize it. We hold on to that shame as tight as we can, because we don’t know what else to do about it. The antidote to shame is exposure. We need to bring the conversation about our sexuality back to the mainstream!!! We’ll know we’ve cleared shame from our society when it’s a normal thing to talk about sex in public. I can already feel some of you saying, “TALK ABOUT SEX IN PUBLIC???” Notice how it makes you feel inside to even think about talking about sex in public. Notice your breath. Notice parts in your body that may be constricted or holding tension. Notice thoughts about what others might think. Take note of anything that comes up. THAT is what needs to be cleared from your body.

Our power comes from being 100% comfortable with who we are on every level, ESPECIALLY our sexuality. Any fear or awkwardness we have about our sexuality on any level comes out in other areas of our life as well. If we are afraid of being seen in the bedroom, we can’t be fully seen in life. If we can’t be fully heard in the bedroom, we can’t be fully heard in life. If we can’t ask for what we want in the bedroom, well… you get the picture.

Can you imagine how this might affect someone with a business or a life purpose that requires people see her and hear her, and yet there is something keeping her from fully doing so? Even the most subtle incongruence is going to be spotted by people whether or not they are even aware of it. 

In order to be truly seen and heard (and therefore trusted) by the maximum amount of people possible, one’s external state needs to directly represent their internal state. This means that whatever is going on inside a person needs to be directly accessible to those around her. This is how you get what you want from the universe!!! When your internal state has one thing going on, but the external state is covering it up with something else, the universe manifests exactly what you’re instructing it to: Chaos and confusion. 

It’s perfect if your external state directly represents a messy or hysterical internal state, because people know it’s there anyway, and it’s just incongruent when it doesn’t come out directly. The point isn’t just to let it out. It’s to allow it to come to the surface so that it can be healed. Once your external state directly represents your internal state from a place of power, possibility and freedom, you will draw into your life, power, possibility and freedom.

We have several exercises, techniques and theories that we use to help clear sexual abuse and any other type of trauma from the body where it is stored, and we will be going over several of them over the next five weeks. If you
commit to trying on everything in the next five blogs, I can promise that you will have a major breakthrough in love, intimacy, and all around personal power.

In the next article, we will be talking about the Threat Response Cycle, how trauma gets trapped in the body, and most importantly, HOW TO GET IT OUT!!! We’ll be talking about everything from a practice we call “The Stop Technique,” to “Shaking it Out,” to “The Arousal Counting Exercise.” We might even talk about how to blow out negative thoughts, emotions, feelings using 30 minutes of “Full Release” Gspot orgasm as a state of hypnosis and what Neuro-Linguistic Programing would call a “Collapse Anchor.” Don’t worry, I’ll explain it all in detail, so you don’t need to get it all just yet. 

The important thing to know is that trauma can clear MUCH faster than most people think is possible. I’m talking about a matter of hours, or a few days at the most. In the last blog post of the series, I’ll be talking about how to “Adjust Your Compass” to bring in the love you’ve been looking for and how “Old Paradigm” will try to drag you back once you step into your “New Paradigm,” and what can be done about it. Does that sound like something you could find some value in? Good! It’s time to stretch your reality a little as you manifest an abundance of love, intimacy, pleasure, and wealth into your life. I trust you’ll stick around for the ride!!!


Ben and Jen Rode are living their life purpose, helping women bring in their man, money and purpose and helping them to fully embody the divine feminine, while honoring and supporting the divine masculine. They have created their own healing modality that uses the state of orgasm to plant post-hypnotic suggestions or affirmations. They are continuing to tear down the restrictions that have been placed on female sexuality, and are paving the way for all kinds of sexual healers to emerge through their upcoming TV show. They are here to make sexual healing mainstream, and to normalize Explosive Sexual Healing by making it the next hypnotherapy, the next reiki, the next talk therapy. 

Go to the website below and learn more about their transformational workshops.


  1. Rachel, I couldn't agree more. May I post your announcement to each of my own FB page and David Pittman's "TWH" page, along with a "Comment" encouraging all 'still-struggling survivors" to at least read and reflect upon your wise insights...if not sign up for your forthcoming seminar series? My e-mail address is:kenheard@rogers.com.

  2. Absolutely Ken! I've already got TWH covered, but certainly feel free to post and share wherever you like! Thank you for the support,


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