This week, we continue with guest blogger, Tahil Gesyuk. Enjoy!
There are seasons in relating. You could be doing everything right at the wrong time and things will not be going so well. The more we understand the seasons of relating the better we can transition with grace and compassion!
The greatest challenge in this stage of passion is cynicism, it is where our trauma locks and inner wounds of hurt from life experiences prevent a natural expression of innocence. Our innocence, numb in expression, often comes out in cynicism is the exposing our wounds to the world! Cynicism stands guard for our broken trust until the cynicism can be honored, seen and felt to the deep vulnerability underneath.
Our greatest challenge in this transition is judgment. Our judgment is viewing the world through right or wrong based on our polarized set of ideals of how things should or should not be. Our curiosity gets replaced by judgment to protect our most tender vulnerable parts and its perk of streamlined efficiency.
In the stages of sympathy and turbulence, we sympathize with one another as we get to know each other better while going over each others' histories and how they relate and connect us. The stage of turbulence enters when we find where we don’t relate or understand one another. It is a time of the proverbial honeymoon coming to an end. Things get messy and real. As you start seeing each other behind the masks, how curiosity is maintained and honored in coupling can set the course to a rocky end or smoother sailing.
Our greatest challenge in this transition is arrogance. It is a puffed up sense of self that masks the vulnerability we carry and hides the strength we truly have. Our confidence gets numbed in our re-fabrication of it in acting stronger than we are and not revealing our vulnerability as well our own authority. We don’t realize that when we fake it till we make it, our own authority gets replaced by others. And worse yet when we do make it (whatever that is) we want to have authority over others. Our power gets thwarted in us in saying “yes” when we mean “no” and “no” when we mean “yes”. The most detrimental cost is lacking the courage to stand up for our unique expression in the world. Our wounds in confidence get revealed to the world in our arrogance.
The flux between confidence and arrogance is the dance one needs to dance if they want to find their own path in life. The healing balm for arrogance in us and others is acknowledging the strength for what it truly is, no more or less, and being a welcoming for the vulnerability to make room for mistakes.
Angst is a sense of anxiety in constantly covering up or catching up to how you really feel about the world around you. When we lose our trust in the natural rhythm of our ease and peace, the scar we replace it with is angst. Angst brings out this looming sense that we always have to be running to or from someone or somewhere in the moment we want to rest.
The greatest challenge in this transition is chaos, it is a sense of your life whirling out of control into oblivion. When we embody more of the destructive cycle of cynicism, judgment, arrogance, and angst, chaos tends to happen. There is this general destructive nature around it. Things blow up, get dramatic, and we get caught in the web of our own unconscious and collusive delusion with others. When our transcendence gets numbed, chaos takes its place. Chaos exposes the overall cycle that we embody is one of destruction.
It is hardwired defeat in nature of chaos that gives the opportunity to find our innocence again and find our play cycle back into transcendence. When we notice chaotic tendencies in us or others, it is healing to honor the chaos and invite innocence in defeat. It is in the nature of chaos to destroy everything in its path including the very thing that created it (cynicism.) And in that, empathy of nature is exposed.
When we realize that we are back where we started, having an opportunity to reclaim our innocence, an authentic humility arises in empathy for the chaotic nature. In the reservation stage, doubts creep in after we have been with one another for a while, things get complacent, we might start thinking about past partners or what might be somewhere else. If transcendence is honored there is a partnership in transcending reservation together which leads to maturated passion. A deeper more transcendent passion takes root not like a fever of a young passion of infatuation but rather a slow cooking flame of knowing there is no place you would rather be than to simmer in your lover arms.
Tahil has a passion for bringing love, connection,and health into people’s lives. With over 15 solid years of coaching experience, he is committed to bringing forth the radiance in each human being. As the director of the Intimacy Forum, Tahil Gesyuk is dedicated to teaching you the language of creating extraordinary relationships that impact the world in a loving and effective way.
The Intimacy Forum produces events and trainings around affection and connection, bringing a unique synthesis of full sensory and full body learning around *Heart-intimacy*, connection and affection.
For more info, please visit our website: http://www.intimacyforumtraining.com