June 16, 2014

Yoga Postures to Support Healing for Survivors of Sexual Trauma: At-home Practice

This week in our series on how yoga can help us heal from sexual trauma, Zabie shares with us specific postures to address various symptoms and areas of struggling. Just amazing!!

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Photos taken by Garrett Yamasaki
Special thanks to http://www.alexismarbach.com/ for her contributions to this post

Last week I provided a broad overview of the impact that yoga has on the healing process for survivors of sexual violence and the importance of classes that are trauma-informed. Regardless of the nature of the traumatic incident, survivors may suffer from physical pain and emotional unrest after experiencing a trigger or as a chronic underpinning of their daily activities. There is no doubt that trauma impacts brain functioning. After experiencing trauma, the amygdala goes into over-drive and anticipates danger even when there is none. Trauma can leave the body feeling dis-regulated and unsafe. The practice of yoga can help survivors establish safety and resource their body in a way that feels authentic and manageable.

This post provides you with specific yoga postures and explanations to address a variety of struggles and symptoms that survivors may face. As you will see in the cues provided below, every posture is an invitation--an opportunity for you to personally explore your body in your own way.


Symptom: Dis-regulated breathing

Impact of yoga:
Yoga focuses on conscious breathing and invites survivors to notice the natural rhythm of their breath. Trauma-sensitive breathing is performed in the context of a muscular and physical form to facilitate grounding and present moment experience (Emerson, 2012).

A trauma informed practice invites students to breathe in ways that feel natural and comfortable. Instructors use cues to encourage people to be aware of what is happening in their body in the present moment.

Seated Meditation
At home exercise:
I invite you to come into a comfortable seated position whatever that looks like for you. Maybe something similar to the picture below or perhaps allowing your arms to fall by your sides, maybe the palms gently open.

I invite you to take a deep full inhale through your nose and open mouth exhale out your mouth. I invite you to let go of your day, let go of any distractions- allow this to be a gentle space for you, your body, and your breath. Come into a mindful breath. Maybe in this moment, identify a mantra: I am strong or I will live this day with grace. Choose something to focus your energy and attention. Breathe into it at your own pace.


Symptoms: Throat constriction, heightened anxiety, flashbacks

Impact of yoga:
Yoga helps survivors maintain a sense of calmness by helping to regulate the body and sensations and by connecting breath and movement and re-establishing a sense of time inside.

When survivors experience hyper arousal; active postures that focus on cultivating breath to movement can be helpful to facilitate engagement and energy in the body. 

At home practice:
Moving through sun salutations at your own pace and in your own way can be incredibly healing and conducive to cultivating presence and stability in the body.

I invite you to begin in mountain pose. Inviting the arms to extend high and fingertips to engage, maybe the palms face towards each other, rolling the pinkies inward. Find length through the spine and feel both feet grounded on the mat. Know that you are strong and supported. If you would like to add a small backbend, I invite you to draw the elbows back and let the heart shine towards the sky. On your next inhale, explore with drawing your arms back to mountain pose- noticing this breath to movement connection. When you are ready, feel free to draw your palms together overhead. On the exhale, I invite you to bring your palms through heart center into a forward fold, releasing your fingertips to the mat. Feel free to add any additional postures throughout your sun salutations and move your body only in ways that feel comfortable for you.

Mountain Pose


Standing Meditation

Symptom: Uptight body posture

Impact of yoga:
Yoga can help survivors find balance and promote open body posture. Yoga allows survivors to feel specific points of contact (ex: “I invite you for a moment to notice both feet on the ground and at the same time find length in your spine.”)

At home practice:

Baby Backbend
Upward Facing Dog
Backbends allow you to find an opening in the heart and create an opportunity to release built up tension.

Other helpful backbends include: camel and cow pose.


Symptom: Lack of presence

Impact of yoga:
Trauma-sensitive yoga focuses on experiencing the present moment, appreciating the body for whatever it wants to do that day, and most importantly understanding that there are always choices.
Trauma-sensitive yoga helps survivors notice and orient to the space and sense the position of their body (ex: “I invite you to notice what happens when you disengage the muscles in the quads.”)

At home practice:
Chair pose is an opportunity to cultivate strength in the body and find presence in your practice by noticing the changes in muscle engagement.
Chair Pose

When you feel ready brings the feet together to touch. Bend the knees only as deeply as your body
allows. I invite you to draw the arms up and tuck the tailbone. Invite length into your spine. Feel the strength of your body. Adjust as needed to increase your comfort.


Symptom: GI issues

Impact of yoga:
Specific forms like warrior and twisting poses soothe abdominal distress and detoxify the stress in the belly organs.

At home practice:
I invite you to come into seated or standing allowing your arms to fall by your sides. When you feel comfortable on your inhale, draw the arms up with the fingertips engaged. On the exhale turn to the right for a vertical twist, extending the arms in opposite directions. (Repeat on left side)

Seated Vertical Twist

From a downward facing dog posture, I invite you on the inhale to draw your right leg high. Maybe the heel is up and the toe faces down toward the mat. When you feel ready in your body, allow your exhale to draw the right foot between your palms. Spin the left heel to 45 degrees so it is parallel with the mat. Find grounding here and in your own time, extend your arms up, allowing the palms to face towards each other. If it feels okay in your body, actively draw the left hip forward and the right hip back for Warrior I. (Repeat on left side)

Warrior I

Symptom: Disassociation

Impact of yoga:
Yoga postures that incorporate active forms and twists and that invite survivors to move slowly and mindfully from sitting to standing can help with experiences of disassociation.

Yoga allows survivors to practice mindfulness: the awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to things as they are (The Mindful Way through Depression, 2007)

At home practice:

Arm circles invite students to find connection and presence by cultivating a conscious, mindful connection of breath to movement. I invite you to ground down through your feet, drawing them about hip distance apart. When you feel ready, allow your fingertips to graze the mat in a forward fold posture. If it feels right in your body, interlace your arms and reach for opposite elbows. On your inhale, invite the body up in a circular motion. Invite a slow, mindful movement and notice the connection of your breath to your movement. When it feels right for you, on the exhale draw the arms down in a circle. Continue this at your own pace and reverse direction of the circles at any time.
Arm Circles
Prayer Twist





Prayer twist is an active posture that can support this symptom as well. From chair pose, draw the palms together at heart center if that feels comfortable. On your inhale I invite you to hinge forward to find length in your spine. On your exhale, twist to the right, drawing the left elbow outside of the right knee. Feel free to twist only as deeply as your body feels comfortable. (Repeat on left side)









Difficulty with relationships and intimacy

Impact of yoga:
People who experience trauma can become emotionally disconnected from themselves as well as other people. The trauma may induce a need to build walls and layers of protection (Brown, 2012).

Yoga can help survivors develop a strong connection to the body as well as trust of self and others. Transcending Sexual Violence through Yoga has allowed survivors to strengthen their relationships by allowing them to have greater self-awareness and a strong understanding of how to set boundaries and be assertive.

At-home practice:
Even just taking time out of your day to find solitude and connection can be extremely beneficial to the healing process. We often times spend so much of our day neglecting the needs of our body. I invite you to come into a comfortable position laying on your back. If you would like to bring the soles of your feet together, please feel free to do so. If this creates too much tension in the hips, just allow your legs to extend forward. Notice the shoulders nestled into the mat, maybe sink down into this space a little deeper with each exhale. Find a cozy, comfortable position. You can use blocks or a blanket to increase your comfort and add support. I invite you to place the hands wherever feels comfortable. Maybe down by your sides or perhaps one hand on the belly and one hand on the heart. I invite you to listen to the sound of your own breath. There is nothing left to do but breathe and be.


 


Supported Bridge


Self-esteem issues

Impact of yoga:
Many survivors disclose that thinking about their past experiences with assault can consume and drain their energy and breed negativity which has a significant impact on their self-esteem and day to day functioning.

Yoga helps to clear the mind and increases the supply of oxygen to the body which in turn helps reduce stress, increase energy flow and ensure mental clarity.

Yoga can helps to awaken body posture and helps those who feel emotionally disconnected from themselves and others. In essence, yoga promotes self-love which is the core of well-being.

At-home practice:
Crescent Moon
When I am in need of a pick me up and energizer, crescent moon helps me cultivate the balance I need in my body. From a downward facing dog posture, I invite you on the inhale to draw your right leg high. Maybe the heel is up and the toe faces down toward the mat. When you feel ready in your body, allow your exhale to draw the right foot between your palms. Feel free to release your left knee to the mat. When it feels good, extend your arms up allowing the palms to face each other. Feel free
to draw the elbows back and let the heart shine to find a slight backbend. I invite you to bend into the right knee if deepening the stretch feels good for you. Always your body, your practice, your choice. (Repeat on left side)





Symptom: Aches and pains

Impact of yoga:
Several studies at Duke University Medical Center found yoga as an effective tool for chronic pain (Katz, 2011). Yoga postures help reduce joint pain, muscle stiffness, and overall physical discomfort while greatly improving flexibility, range of motion, muscle strength, and mental strength.

I invite you to practice gentle stretches in your body. From a seated position extend the right leg long and draw the sole of your left foot to you inner right thigh. As it feels right, gently extend your arms up. Rotate the hips towards your right leg and lengthen on the inhale extending your fingertips high.
On your exhale, slowly fold forward. There are many variations to invite in the body here to increase your comfort. Perhaps resting your hands on your shins or inviting a slight bend into your right knee. Maybe reach the palms under the sole of the right foot drawing your forehead down. If you’d like you can stack blocks and melt your forehead into them for added support. Take this posture at your layer.




Symptom: Depression

Impact of yoga:
Yoga helps to stimulate and awaken the body and mind and help students connect to a deeper purpose in life, an inner sense of calm, and an opportunity to channel nervous energy

Helpful postures include: deep, full inhalations and audible exhalations, repeated sun salutations, backbends, and arm balances

At-home practice:
Child’s pose is always available to you to cultivate centeredness and grounding and focus on your breath whenever you feel overwhelmed.

If you’d like you can draw your knees to the outside edges of your mat and bring your big toes to touch behind if that is available to you. I invite you to extend your arms forward, lengthening through the fingertips. Maybe massage your forehead into the mat. Breathe in and out in ways that feel natural and authentic for you. If you’d like you can draw your knees together, and let your arms fall by your sides. Find you own personal variation, do what feels good in your body.
 
Child's Pose

Symptom: Chronic sleep problems

Impact of yoga:
Several studies discuss yoga’s impact on reducing insomnia. In one study, researchers found that the participants had significantly improved sleep efficiency, total sleep time, total wake time, sleep onset latency, and wake time after sleep onset at the end of treatment compared with before the treatment (Harvard study, 2009).

Yoga is an effective treatment because it addresses insomnia's physical and psychological aspects (Sat Bir Khalsa, Ph.D., assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School and associate neuroscientist at Brigham and Women's Hospital)

At-home practice:

Winding down your practice with a reclining twist is a great way to un-wind and detoxify and prepare for meditation. I invite you to lay on your back. When it feels comfortable, gently hug the right knee in to the right under arm. On the inhale gently hug the knee in, on your exhale, guide the right knee over to the left side of your body. On each inhale I invite you to notice the length of your spine, on each exhale, feel free to deepen the stretch in your knee. If you’d like you can place a block under your knee for added support. (Repeat on left side).


Reclining Twist


For more information on Transcending Sexual Violence through Yoga, check out this Breathe OC video or contact Zabie at zkhoraki@gmail.comzkhoraki@gmail.com.


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Zabie received her BA in Psychology and Social Behavior and Education at UC Irvine and her MA in Higher Education Administration at The George Washington University, and is a certified trauma-sensitive yoga instructor offering workshops specifically designed for healing trauma. Zabie is the Violence Prevention Coordinator at UC Irvine and serves on Board of Directors for Stop Street Harassment and We Step into the Light. She is the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence through Yoga, an organization with a simple mission: empowering survivors to heal through yoga. She teaches trauma-sensitive yoga classes at Be the Change and the Center for Living Peace in Orange County, California.

Zabie has created a model therapeutic yoga program and curriculum being implemented throughout the U.S. Her work has been highlighted in the Huffington Post, OC Register, Pinterest, Elephant Journal, Breathe OC, Coast Magazine, and various OC publications and magazines.


Photo by Sargeant Creative

June 11, 2014

Transcending Sexual Violence through Yoga

This week, I begin a great series with Zabie Garrett, a trauma-sensitive yoga instructor. When I met Zabie, I knew immediately that I had to share her work and perspective on healing through yoga. I know you will learn so much from this 3-part series in which she explores the impact of yoga on the healing process for survivors of sexual violence.

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“Until we understand that traumatic symptoms are physiological as well as psychological, we will be woefully inadequate in our attempts to help them heal.”  
–Peter Levine, Waking the Tiger and Healing Trauma


Survivors of sexual violence often hold their experiences of trauma as sensations in the body. Trauma manifests both physically and emotionally in a multitude of ways and layers and can leave the body feeling dis-regulated and unsafe. As a result, it is so essential to offer survivors an avenue to heal and process their trauma using their one innate resource: their body.


My story 

 
When I was sexually assaulted in 2007, I remember how scary it was to feel unsafe within my own body. My body had betrayed me and suddenly I didn’t know how to navigate my life when dealing with hyper vigilance and anxiety attacks. All of these somatic experiences felt completely unmanageable and the disconnection and fragmentation I felt from myself was painful. I had feelings of suffocation within the layers of my own skin with no outlet that felt authentic. These were all physiological symptoms and talking about them in therapy didn’t help me. It wasn’t until I took my first yoga class did I realize that through my breath, through the movement of my body, through the power of my choices…that I had everything I needed within myself to heal.
 

The spectrum of healing that took place after embracing yoga as a treatment for my trauma was life changing. The ways I could thoughtfully move through postures on my mat, while being in tune to what felt comfortable and safe within my body was beautiful. This was a powerful moment as it was the first time in a long time that I actually listened to what my body was communicating to me. I could breathe through any unpleasant experiences that came up and cultivate presence in the moment. This allowed me to develop tangible skills to support me in my everyday life especially when trying to navigate painful memories and triggers.
 


Why yoga?

Through the practice of yoga, the body can build and connect the fragmented pieces back together through self-regulation, personal exploration of the postures, and natural breathing. Yoga gives survivors a way to express what they are feeling nonverbally and takes the pressure away of feeling that processing cognitively is the only way. Yoga offers the opportunity to move the trauma through the body and helps survivors take steps towards finding stability and safety within. Yoga offers a holistic approach that takes into account the variety of ways that trauma impacts and stays with people for their entire lives.

I have had the firsthand experience of teaching trauma-sensitive yoga to hundreds of survivors of sexual assault. In my eight years of experience working within the field of gender-based violence, I have not witnessed anything more powerful than the impact of yoga on the healing process.
 

Some of the benefits of trauma-sensitive yoga that have been self reported by survivors include:
  • Stronger self-esteem and confidence
  • Development of positive coping mechanisms
  • Empowered to seek other resources (medical, counseling, reporting)
  • Decreased binge eating
  • Learned the importance of self-care
  • Learned how to set boundaries and be assertive
  • Felt more grounded and balanced
  • Learned to trust self and others
  • Gained courage, peace, and a strong community of support
  • Gained the ability to be intimate again
  • Understood they had choices
  • Felt a strong sense of safety in the body
  • The importance of trauma-informed yoga
The responsibility of teaching yoga to survivors of sexual trauma is serious and should be handled with the utmost sensitivity and training. I want to make it clear how essential it is to create a space that is conducive to healing vs. re-traumatizing. I would argue that every yoga teacher training should educate teachers about the impact of trauma and how it might manifest in the room with their students. Trainings should include trauma-sensitive yoga techniques and how teachers can be more mindful and aware. According to the 2010 National Intimate Partner Violence Survey, 1 in 2 women (44.6%) and 1 in 5 men (22.2%) have experienced sexual violence throughout their lifetime. With numbers like this, we must be aware of the experiences that students are coming into the yoga room with. It is essential to facilitate a safe, accessible, and inclusive healing experience.
 

To help illustrate what I mean by that I want to invite you for a moment to imagine what it might feel like for a survivor walking into a yoga studio or gym for the first time. Imagine what the impact of trauma might have on someone, anything ranging from flashbacks and dissociation to difficulty connecting with others or not being ready to be seen (Trauma-Sensitive Yoga Training 2012, Emerson). Imagine walking into an unfamiliar space and gazing around a dimly lit room to see other students perhaps dressed in minimal clothing. Imagine having to lie down only a few inches away from a perfect stranger or being in an uncomfortably hot and condensed space. What might it feel like to see straps hanging on the wall or to have a yoga teacher place their hands on you to offer a physical adjustment without permission? What if a teacher cued a posture that was triggering and you didn’t feel like there was another option?
 

I want to illustrate this experience because I think it is essential to understand the principles of trauma-sensitive yoga and how central they are to the treatment of trauma. Attending David Emerson and Jen Turner’s trauma-sensitive yoga teacher training at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health changed my life and prepared me to hold space for survivors in the room. I co-wrote an article after the training with a dear friend and colleague, Alexis Marbach, titled The Journey to Heal: Understand Trauma-Sensitive Yoga.
 

The training taught me about empowerment-based language, the various options for breath, how to manage triggers in the room, the importance of seeing physical adjustments as a clinical issue, the intake process, and most importantly the powerful impact of yoga on the healing process. Next week’s blog post will explore trauma symptoms of survivors of sexual violence and specific yoga postures that can help in the healing process to offer tangible strategies for an at home practice.

If we think back to the roots of yoga, it started as a practice in India as a means to transcend suffering. This central core of yoga is what guides me in my teaching and purpose. Yoga changed my life and continues to be a part of my everyday healing. It has given me the strength to cultivate a safe space for so many survivors looking to deepen their healing and reclaim their bodies. Yoga helps survivors find their voice and most importantly offers an incredible gift: power and control.
 

For anyone looking for a trauma-sensitive yoga program or teacher in your area, The Breathe Network is an amazing place to start. This is an organization that connects survivors of sexual violence to healing arts practitioners that offer services on a sliding scale. Another excellent resource is “Overcoming Trauma through Yoga” by David Emerson and Elizabeth Hopper, which is an engaging and research-based framework on how to safely and effectively incorporate yoga into the healing process.


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Zabie received her BA in Psychology and Social Behavior and Education at UC Irvine and her MA in Higher Education Administration at The George Washington University, and is a certified trauma-sensitive yoga instructor offering workshops specifically designed for healing trauma. Zabie is the Violence Prevention Coordinator at UC Irvine and serves on Board of Directors for Stop Street Harassment and We Step into the Light. She is the founder of Transcending Sexual Violence through Yoga, an organization with a simple mission: empowering survivors to heal through yoga. She teaches trauma-sensitive yoga classes at Be the Change and the Center for Living Peace in Orange County, California.

Zabie has created a model therapeutic yoga program and curriculum being implemented throughout the U.S. Her work has been highlighted in the Huffington Post, OC Register, Pinterest, Elephant Journal, Breathe OC, Coast Magazine, and various OC publications and magazines.


Photo by Sargeant Creative

May 28, 2014

What Facebookers Have to Say About Coping with Loneliness

So, lately, many of my clients have been getting particularly stuck when it comes to loneliness. This is definitely a topic I've explored and included in my guidebook, but this week, I went to Facebook to see what others had to say on how we can cope with loneliness.

Here are just a few of the great responses:

Love yourself! "I rarely feel lonely any more. Before that loneliness was my constant companion from a young age."

Get a hobby! "I research anything that triggers my fancy. Right now I'm teaching myself how to make bread. I find three things to feel grateful for each day and write about it."

Go to a support group! "I've found, in addition to working with a support group, simply spending time with the groups here on FB helps me connect with others who've been through similar situations. This reminds me I'm not alone.

Say something positive! "When you brush your teeth in the morning .. Look at yourself and say out loud.. I am Beautiful .. .I am Good .. I am Worthy.... because it's true .. and You now have to learn to believe it.. when you do others will be drawn to you as your essence will radiate it ..."

Get some professional help! "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I took a class for one year, learned lots of skills for coping with my life, and found the wherewithal to reconnect to others & to the world. I also recommend Barbara Feldon's book "Living Alone & Liking It". (She played Agent 99 on the 60s TV show "Get Smart".)"

Take it slowly! "Take one day at a time."

Distraction, distraction, distraction! "Lots of reading, work hard then sleep, create, write, listen to music, go for a walk, play online, explore Facebook, dance, clean, sew, paint, journal, sports..."

Have faith, lean on a spiritual practice! "Pray."

Be playful! "I find someone to play with my hair and talk to me."

Embrace it! "I'd rather be alone some days because there is a certain beauty in being alone. I wouldn't get artwork done if people were bothering me all the time. I have found people that have a hard time being alone have a hard time focusing on their inner self."

Get involved! "Join a club, volunteer."

Get a furry friend! "If life were a movie...get a dog"



All of this reminded me of when I was twelve years old and went to one of the many slumber parties that sprinkled my childhood days. I was super excited to be going to this particular slumber party because my best friend was the hostess. She lived next door (so there was the added comfort that I could just go home if things went wrong). We had spent lots of time together playing in the wide open fields behind our houses, so I was at ease about going to the party, knowing that there was at least one person there I could have fun with.

This definitely was not always the case. After the abuse, I remember days when it felt like all of the color had been drained out of the world. I would watch my peers play with their dolls and even beginning to gossip about which boy they thought was the cutest in the class. In those moments, I felt like a complete outsider. I wanted to scream at them, “How can you be so silly! Don’t you know really bad things happen in this world?!” I felt alone and like I just did not belong with these girls. This feeling has stayed with me through the years, even as the conversation has gone from cute boys to, well, cute men.

Abuse changes how we see the world. It strips away our innocence and we grow up well before we should. It is as though I was walking along a similar path with these other girls and then we reached a fork in the road. I continued on my journey that included the experience of abuse and they continued on theirs. My path was a bit thornier, bleaker, but there were clearings at times where I could see the other path and the sun and laughter that was there. I would try to soak up as much of it as I could—if even from a distance—but could never seem to break away from the path I was on.

This universal experience of abuse survivors—of being forced to grow up too soon and, as a result, feeling like we just do not belong—is one that stays with us for a long time. It is often one of our deepest false beliefs —“I don’t belong.”

As adults, we often find it hard to relate to others who have not shared our same path. We long for the look of recognition and ability to think deeply about things that matter and are turned off by relationships and conversations that remain shallow.

The trouble is that we are constantly out to prove that we do not belong. So, regardless of the situation, we stand on the outside and judge or evaluate rather than engage and bring an attitude of openness. We need to understand that the story of “I don’t belong” greatly impacts how we connect to others. We may find it harder to connect with others, but we only exacerbate the problem when we continue to have the attitude that we are somehow an outsider, flawed, damaged, or never fit in.

We also need to accept and appreciate that not everyone is our cup of tea! It is okay if we do not connect with someone. Our job is to not use this as further evidence to support our story.

Did you know that being lonely can actually provide us an opportunity for growth? Our ability to sit and remain grounded in the lonely times is no small thing. In The Great Divorce, C.S. Lewis is telling the story of a man who has lost his son and is experiencing a deep sense of loss and emptiness—loneliness. Lewis writes that, in this void, “in the loneliness, in the silence, something else might begin to grow.” When I read this, it immediately jumped out at me. Lewis did not go on to explain what that “something else” was, but I think it is independence.

The experience of abuse often leaves us clamoring for love, affection, and attention. We bounce from relationship to relationship, job to job, activity to activity, refusing to ever stop long enough to deal with who we are when we are on our own. Now, this is in no way related to the popular idea that we must “love ourselves before we can love others.” I think, quite frankly, that is a ridiculous statement. I have actually come to love myself much more deeply through the relationships and reflections of my partners than when I was on my own.

What we can gain by developing the capacity to be in the loneliness is a sense that we can stand on our own two feet. We come to understand that the love and experiences that come with being with others are amazing and to be appreciated, but we also learn that our existence is not dependent upon “belonging.”

As a result, one very important thing changes: We stop saying “yes” to things just because we are afraid of being alone or trying to prove that we do not belong. Instead, we begin to powerfully choose for ourselves who we want to spend time with and what experiences we want to have.

Furthermore, we can learn to appreciate the “happy people,” as I call them. We may not enjoy spending a lot of one-on-one time with them, but we can, in fact, soak in their lightness, giggles, set aside our cares, and just enjoy the simple things with them.



Reflection
 

How has loneliness been a part of your life?

How do you isolate yourself from others?
 

What things are you saying “yes” to out of the fear of being alone or not belonging?

May 11, 2014

A New Kind of Spring Cleaning: Tossing Out Negative Beliefs

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about spring cleaning. Even though these past couple of weeks have felt like a wild, lack of ozone layer produced summer here in San Francisco -- it is still technically Spring time.

Every Spring, when the days are long, the flowers are out, and there's that wonderful breeze picking things up and setting them down in new places, I always go into cleaning mode. Digging through drawers that have gone unopened for months, file cabinets get ravaged and cleared out, that little do-hickie thing that I was holding on to "just in case" gets chucked.

Today, I came across this great little pic ...


... and I thought, "Heck yeah! That's exactly what needs to be done!"

I imagined a "thought junk drawer" that I could open up, tip over a trashcan, and all of those negative ideas and beliefs that drag us down end up exactly where they belong -- in the trash!

I know, having been through the long haul of recovery, how hard it can be sometimes to not feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts. In fact, I think I used to be a hoarder of negative thoughts -- can you relate? 

Our minds are extremely powerful except when cluttered by all sorts of junk like "I'm no good", "No one will ever love me", "It's my fault", "I can't trust anyone." 

So, today, I want to encourage you to do some spring cleaning of a new kind. Open up that junk drawer in your mind, imagine a trashcan (maybe a very large trashcan depending on how long you've been hoarding negative beliefs about yourself), and just dump it all out!!

Whenever a new negative thought pops up, imagine sending it straight to the trash heap (I also like to make sound effects to go along with the image - like crumpling paper and tossing it).

Happy Spring Cleaning!

May 6, 2014

Amazing Children Speak Out About Their Private Parts

Okay, I just had to share this video this week! These kids are beautiful, amazing, and most importantly - educated! I don't often speak or write much about the prevention side of things, but I'm so grateful that videos like this exist these days -- and, man, do I wish I had seen a video like this when I was a kid!

If I had I would have known that my grandfather had absolutely no right to touch me and that I could tell someone. 

What would you have known to do if you had seen this video before you were abused?

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