Resources, personal stories, communication techniques, and strategies for survivors of sexual abuse who are ready to break free from the past and return to their genuine self.
July 2, 2024
When a sibling causes harm...
This month - we are going to address an often ignored topic: sibling s*xual abuse. Over the 17 years of doing this work, I've supported countless people in healing from this type of abuse, which has it's own unique aspects that need to be looked at and addressed in order to process and integrate the trauma and move forward.
Sibling s*xual abuse is a deeply distressing experience that can have profound effects on individuals. Unlike abuse by a stranger or an adult, sibling abuse occurs within the intimate circle of family life, making the path to healing complex and challenging. The added component that the sibling may have been a minor often leads people to further dismiss or not know how/if to hold the person accountable.
Sibling s*xual abuse involves any s*xual activity between siblings where one is the aggressor (regardless of age!) and the other is the victim. It can range from inappropriate touching to other forms of s*xual assault. Due to the familial bond and the complexities of sibling relationships, victims often face unique emotional and psychological struggles.
Yet healing is possible!
Victims of sibling s*xual abuse may experience a range of emotions including shame, guilt, fear, confusion, and anger. They may struggle with feelings of betrayal and a loss of trust not only in the abuser but also in other family members who may not have intervened or believed them.
In my work, helping clients come to terms with the reality of the abuse is the first crucial step. Many survivors of sibling abuse may initially minimize or rationalize what happened due to feelings of loyalty or fear of disrupting family dynamics. Acknowledging the abuse and accepting its impact is essential for moving forward.
Another big step is learning how to navigate family dynamics. In some cases, family therapy may be beneficial to address communication breakdowns, establish accountability, and create a safe environment for healing.
Healing from sibling s*xual abuse is possible with support, understanding, and a commitment to self-care. Survivors deserve compassion, validation, and the opportunity to rebuild their lives free from the trauma of their past experiences.
By acknowledging the abuse, seeking help, and nurturing yourself, you can reclaim your sense of agency and move forward on your journey towards healing.
I connect with Keeper Catran-Whitney and we discuss a very important and often ignored topic: the hidden trauma brothers experience after learning their sisters have been sexually abused.
We discuss the importance of brothers being invited to engage, so they can become allies with their sisters and also heal in their own right.
This hidden trauma must no longer be so!
Keeper wants you to know, “We must provide counseling, develop tools, and build support systems for brothers who are in trauma after learning their sister has been sexually abused in the home. We must first recognize that brothers are not unfeeling bystanders or gawking onlookers. Once we learn our sisters have been sexually abused in the home, we are victims like them.”
RESOURCE OF THE MONTH
Resolve is an intimate, wild ride from darkness and confusion to triumphant self-determination and inner peace. Living with a dark secret inside her, Alice Perle has overcome many obstacles on her path to healing in the shadow of sibling s*xual abuse. Needing to understand her experiences at a deeper level, Alice's personal story is interwoven with her fascinating explorations of societal and intergenerational factors. Resolve showcases an eclectic approach to healing that helped Alice reclaim her true self, freeing her to create a bright, joyous, peaceful life. Respectfully and sensitively written, Resolve is infused with hope and optimism. It is an inspiring story, offering us an intriguing window into one woman's experience recovering from sibling s*xual abuse-the hidden taboo.
Have you experienced Betrayal? How about Abandonment? Please join me and over 30 other experts for AVAIYA University’s Healing Abandonment & Betrayal Trauma online series
Join us for this transformative workshop and leave with the confidence to navigate your relationships with discernment and trust. Whether in your personal or professional life, these skills will help you build stronger, more authentic connections.
As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, we bring certain issues to our intimate relationships. Some of the issues that complicate intimate relationships for us are power, control, trust, and self-esteem. Usually, there are patterns in our intimate relationships that have a lot to do with our childhood sexual abuse.
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