A few days ago, I came across this article about Elliot Page. I'm a huge fan of his movies, and so I definitely clicked to read more.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9614175/amp/Transgender-actor-Elliot-Page-shows-abs-pair-swim-trunks.html
This part jumped out at me,
"Since transitioning and coming out as transgender, the Juno star said that, for the first time in his life, he has been able to feel happy in his own body."
I could feel that. I got that. I know what it feels like to be trapped by your body, to not be comfortable in your own skin...decidedly for different reasons than Elliot....and yet, I resonate with his pain and with his longing to feel happy in his own body. I've had to battle to reclaim my body and femininity, and I wasn't shamed or harassed or threatened when doing so as Elliot has been (reason number one why he is one of my heroes).
I also share his sadness and concern regarding the many ways that states are instituting bills that limit gender affirming care,
"You’re basically seeing your identity challenged constantly. It’s so much toxic dialogue and rhetoric, and complete denial of trans and gender-nonconforming people’s existence..."
I have faced a lack of access to care when I needed it due to lack of finances...again, not the same, but yet....I get the injustice here, how scary it feels to know you need access to care, and resources, and support, and to not receive that care...how things can become so overwhelming that you lose hope...
And I also know that I've had the privilege to eventually experience the healing power of having access to care, having a supportive community....and I also know that justice for sexual trauma and access to care for survivors is still too limited because of a society that rejects the real lived experiences of those who've been abused.
One final quote from Page,
"This is the first time I’ve even felt really present with people, that I can be just really relaxed and not have an anxiety that’s always pulling."
This is what we all deserve.
When I look at my friends who are trans, I wish for a day when I don't have to have an underlying fear that they will be harmed or diminished because of who they are.
When I look at my Black and Brown friends....same.
When I look at my Jewish friends....same.
When I live my life as a bisexual woman...same.
As those who have suffered due to the imposition of someone else's choices (this is the first thing every abuser takes from their victim - choice!), how can we not stand up for those who are being told to be silent, how can we let lawmakers decide what a person can and can't do with their own body!?
One of the tenants of Beyond Surviving is reclaiming choice.
And that's not choice for the privileged or choice for the few.
It's about agency and autonomy to live one's life, and I want that for every man and woman and non-binary person regardless of race, religion, orientation, or gender identity.
Don't you?
Much love and happy Pride month!
Watch Did being abused make me gay?
What choices do you make everyday that you are thankful to have the autonomy and agency to make?
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Often pushed to the margins, queer, transgender and gender non-conforming survivors have been organizing in anti-violence work since the birth of the movement. Queering Sexual Violence: Radical Voices from Within the Anti-Violence Movement locates them at the center of the anti-violence movement and creates a space for their voices to be heard. Moving beyond dominant narratives and the traditional violence against women framework, the book is multi-gendered, multi-racial and multi-layered. This thirty-seven piece collection disrupts the mainstream conversations about sexual violence and connects them to disability justice, sex worker rights, healing justice, racial justice, gender self-determination, queer & trans liberation and prison industrial complex abolition through reflections, personal narrative, and strategies for resistance and healing.
UPCOMING EVENTS
I am so excited to be a part of and speaking at this free full-day conference for female veterans who have survived sexual assault while in the military.
This conference aims to help women improve intimacy within relationships and internally by owning their sensuality and sexuality.
The conference is scheduled to occur on Women Veterans Day (June 12, 2021).
Healing is not linear - and yet, it is still a process! This month, we explore the stages of healing and the best resources to access at each stage.
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