"I am so f---- done with love!"
In response to this declaration, my mother just listened quietly, holding my sadness and grief with care and patience.See, many years ago, I was devastated from yet another failed relationship, so I had called my mom and immediately declared love is bullshit, I'm done, and started to spin out.
After allowing me some space, my mom interrupted me, which immediately got my attention as that is not her style.
She went on to unfold a whole philosophy of love which boiled down to “Never make someone apologize for who they are and find someone who will do the same.”
Whoa! Talk about being knocked back on your heels. She made it sound so very simple. I wanted to argue that she didn't understand, it was harder for me, blah blah blah, but instead I paused, and decided to really take in what she was saying. After all, she and my dad had managed a good 30+ years together before he died, so she was definitely the expert here.
I made a commitment to seek out this kind of love. This required a lot of me! It meant I had to learn how to accept the wholeness of another person, become comfortable with letting my whole self be seen, develop more patience and compassion, set boundaries, and let connections go that weren't living up to this intention.
This month, I celebrate 7 years with my guy!!
It hasn't been perfect by any stretch of the imagination - we are still two human beings with our flaws and fears, but one thing I think we are getting on well with is following my mother's sage advice.
Now, I'm not here to rub our love in your face if you're struggling to find connection and companionship. Rather, I want to share with you some stories of hope and inspiration - including mine - because as hard as it feels some days to believe that after childhood abuse we can go on to have healthy, fulfilling relationships (I remember my many days of doubt) - love and connection are yours for the taking.
Will it require something of you?
Damn straight!
Will you have to release fears and insecurities?
Yep!
Will you need to learn relationship and communication skills?
Most definitely!
One of my absolute "favoritest" things about being a coach is seeing the hearts of the men and women I work with thaw as they heal old wounds and rediscover their hope and capacity for connection.
If you are ready to break free of the past and the patterns that keep you disconnected, please, reach out, let's connect!
With love,
P.S. DISCLAIMER: I in no way believe that one MUST have a relationship in order to have a fabulous life. If you are happily single and that is coming from the place of an empowered choice - yes, do you!
Explore other resources on the topic of relationships!
What is the #1 false belief that stops you from being open to connection and love?Karen shares about the pain of being "chronically single"
and how she took her life into her own hands!
and how she took her life into her own hands!
BOOK OF THE MONTH
Lisa was living the all-American dream. Married to Keith, her high school sweetheart, born on the same day, soulmates at birth. But after Keith’s untimely death plunges the family into despair, a devastating betrayal sends Lisa spiraling into grief and depression, and on an incredible odyssey of self-discovery, sexual and spiritual awakening, and rebirth.
Divine signs and miracles fuel Lisa’s unwavering quest for true love and inspire her methodology of hope, which culminates at a mystical desert temple at the Burning Man gathering. There, an oracle tells her to share her story with the world, just as she discovers her greatest love ever and the most unimaginable miracle of all.
Can we find love again after significant loss? Can we have more than one soulmate? Do miracles exist? The answers are woven throughout this gripping and inspiring memoir that will make you Believe you can still live your greatest life!
UPCOMING EVENTS
REGISTRATION NOW OPEN!
I am so excited to be a part of and speaking at this free full-day conference for female veterans who have survived sexual assault while in the military.
This conference aims to help women improve intimacy within relationships and internally by owning their sensuality and sexuality.
The conference is scheduled to occur on Women Veterans Day (June 12, 2021).
Mourning:
As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, all of us have suffered losses in our lives that we need to mourn in order to heal. This month we will explore how to deal with the intense feelings of sadness and grief.
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