April 12, 2017

Beginning the Journey of Trust

This week, we continue with guest blogger Ruby Usman, who shares with us two powerful strategies for listening to your own inner gut feeling and intuition (which is a key component of trust).


Do you feel like that there are thousands of people living inside your brain talking all the time and there is so much noise that it's hard to know which one of these is actually "you"?

You are not alone...

No one protected us when we were sexually abused in our childhood. We couldn't protect us (because we were children but our mind doesn't realize that. It keeps telling us that we didn't). We carry the sadness and the shame of this in our hearts and over the period of time, we keep telling ourselves that we aren't good enough. We control ourselves and we control others - because we don't have any faith in our abilities.

In my blog Someone betrayed you... This is how life will be if you live from that place, I shared how difficult life can be if we live from that place. But I also realize that when you are in that place, it can seem impossible to get out of there.

Here is the good news. It's not only possible but it's not that hard to start listening to your own inner gut feeling and intuition.

It requires two simple but consistent steps:

* Practice Slow Breathing or Meditation every day for 15 minutes or so
* Celebrate your Successes

Slow Breathing or Meditation

Meditation is one of the most powerful ways to start to calm the mind and the noise that it creates. There are many forms of meditation and slow breathing is just one of them.

Slow breathing has existed in eastern culture for centuries but it is relatively a new concept in the West and it became more popular after Dr. Herbert Benson’s book, The Relaxation Response.

Slow breathing is based on deep belly breathing, which means that your belly expands and contracts as you breathe. 

The basic mechanics of slow breathing generally include the following three steps:

1. Inhaling deeply through the nose for a count of 3-4
2. Holding the breath for a moment, and
3. Exhaling completely through the nose/mouth for a count of 6-8

Why breathe? I hear you say.

The brain stops its fidgeting after the slow breathing. It calms down; the noise inside the brain reduces and it is also used as a great anxiety management tool.

Once the noise stops, it's then possible to start listening to what is really going on inside of you. It's possible to stop the constant obsession of the brain with "what if" scenarios or other forms of thought obsessions.

Celebrating Successes

If you haven't trusted your own instincts for a while and believe that you can't, chances are that your brain is ignoring all the times that you have actually trusted yourself and have made the right call.

Think about it!

You have probably gone out, driven to do errands, or had a chat with someone. All of these required tiny decisions that you made in the moment and you are still here. It has worked out :)

If you bring your attention to these tiny successes and start acknowledging yourself, soon you will be able to acknowledge bigger successes. The more successes you register and acknowledge, the story in your brain "I can't trust myself" will start to crack because there will be actual events nullifying the old belief.

With slow breathing, you will be able to hear yourself more and with celebrating these successes, your brain will start to change and soon the new belief will take its place and the belief "I can't trust" will be the story of the past.

I invite you to try!



Read Part 3: You can calibrate your body to experience trust...


Hi, I am Ruby Usman, Founder of Healing Wounds Together – A Platform for Female Adults who have experienced sexual abuse in their childhood.

I have lived with abuse for many years of my life. And I have spent many more decades in understanding, recovering and becoming whole again. From my own journey, I have learned valuable lessons not only for myself but for others that were around me and now I have made it my mission to:

Help the abused take charge of their own healing
* Empower partners of the female survivours
* Help prevent sexual childhood abuse

If this resonates with you, check out my website at www.healingwoundstogether.com, sign up for my blogs and connect with me on these social media sites.

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