February 22, 2017

How Our "Ugly" Can Lead to Love

This week, we conclude our series with Fawn. In this post, she explores how to bring our whole selves into our relationships...no really! It's possible!

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There are moments in life that aren’t that simple. Or readily fixed.

Sometimes all we need is someone who will listen.

“I wish I could just go back,” a friend of mine thought out-loud, thinking of someone she deeply loved many years ago. “I wish I had shown him how much I loved him. He was so wonderful to me but I was young and stupid. Now it’s too late. He’s gone.”

Sorrow. Grief. Regret. No one escapes these feelings.  Myself included.

We imagine that our lives should be… “better,” “with more money,” “successful,” “easier,” “cancer free,” “perfect,” and “(…you fill in the blanks).”

But it isn’t like that right now, is it?

You made a few (or many) decisions that were kind of dumb. (Or, okay, completely dumb.) You went bankrupt. Broke up with a really great guy. Are afraid, angry and very fed-up. You have even managed to lose your car keys yet once again.

Deep down, these words are ringing in your ears, “There is something wrong with me.”

No dearest, there isn’t. You are simply being human, like the rest of us.

When I hear my clients tell me, as they often do, about their grief, disappointment and regret, I truly understand. We feel shame, hopelessness and despair and want to hide. We put on a mask and act like “we are fine.” If we don’t make a change, eventually we end up having no grace for ourselves or any one else.

Ouch. Please, no!


When I find myself ankles deep in failure, I often hear another voice, one that is lovingly poignant.

Fawn, what makes you think that you should be perfect, somehow better than the rest of the human race?

Do you really think that you are somehow immune to suffering and heartbreak?

Who told you that you don’t have permission to fail – and to fail rather gloriously?

Instead, how could what you are experiencing right now be a gift, even in disguise?

Are our lives, warts and all, a gift?

Sure. I think so. My own experience and the stories of my clients have convinced me that every bit of my past, present and future can be a door of possibility, if I receive them as such.

If I choose to bring whatever it is (even all of me!) out from my hiding, if I bring my regret, shame and sorrow into the light, there I can receive healing, hope and, best of all, love. My worst can become gold if I choose to transform my suffering into compassion for those who also bear its burden. What has made me weak can become my strength.

And here’s the cool part. When I come out of hiding, and accept and love those parts of me that I was otherwise ashamed to show, others get to see me. My honesty creates a safe place for others to be honest too. Pretty soon connection is formed. Heart intimacy begins to grow. This is the soil where real love flourishes. No secrets, no hiding, no shame. Just a joyous and dare I say even humorous acceptance of what and who we are. Whew! Relax. We’re going to be OK.

Sometimes, we need help coming into the light. I know I do. I am someone who not only coaches others, I have a coach myself—knowing that if I do the work involved in becoming whole, I can learn to honestly love me. All of me. And you!

There is a Divine Presence, one filled with grace, mercy and light waiting. And wanting to listen to you.


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Happy clients around the world call Fawn “Their relationship guru.”  For single professional women serious about creating an amazing life-long passionate love-affair, Fawn is their go-to expert to discover and claim their feminine power and attract great men who are ready to love, respect, and cherish them. Clients learn to radiate their unique confidence, love, and beauty in a powerful way that makes them irresistible to the men who are the perfect match for them. With confidence and joy — and with her inspired guidance and support — they learn to repel the men who only want to use them, and magnetize and inspire real, quality men into their lives to create real and lasting love for a lifetime.

Fawn spent most of her twenties and thirties with a series of dead-end relationships and broken hearts. When she was almost forty, after one last devastating heart-break, she decided she needed to start taking responsibility for her relationships with men and the pain she was creating. (Either that or become …a nun!) She began working with a coach who ever so gently asked her the questions that opened her eyes and her heart. Within a year, at the age of 40, she married the love of her life and they’re still going strong.

After years of informal coaching and transformational work, Fawn graduated from the prestigious Coaches Training Institute as a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach.

She is passionate about women finding real passionate love while being true to their authentic unique selves.

Learn more at www.fawngilmorekraut.com.


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