Insights from a legit matchmaker 💖

I recently reconnected with Soniyah Singh, the founder of Finding Bliss! Soniyah passionately believes that with Love all things are possible. She is a Love Researcher, Matchmaker, Relationship Coach and a guide for over 16 years.

Her life's calling is to help people be the Love they want & create the Love they seek. She works with singles and couples of all ages, orientations, and backgrounds.

Through her research she has found that the medicine of Love and Compassion can heal conscious and unconscious barriers to Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Pleasure. Her dream is to create more Ripples of Love through sharing inspiring Love Stories of real people and their journeys of struggle and bliss.

She's recently stepped into a new season growth and upleveling her vision, and I'm so glad to introduce you to this powerhouse woman!


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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

SONIYAH: I live by my mantra, "Always at the right place, at the right time, doing the right things, with the right people". I was born in New Delhi, India and moved to Queens, New York when I was only in third grade. I grew up in a very traditional Sikh family with matchmaking all around me. My parents and ancestry were all arranged marriages, so to say what I do for a living is my Dharma is an understatement.

I moved across the country to San Francisco, California in my early 20's and pretty quickly it became clear I was gay, so you can only imagine the journey I've been on coming out to a very conservative family.

I was introduced to my teacher, Wayne Dyer, in 2008, which started my awakening in all arenas. Being an Indian woman, I'm big into astrology and every facilitator that has read my chart has said, "You were born to be a teacher of Love!" To that I nod and say, "Yes, I know. I am a Love Coach! I do this for a living!" And this is why it has been a privilege and an honor to have founded and evolved, Finding Bliss. To me, Finding Bliss is a team-made company and we are all a Love story.


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

SONIYAH: That Love is Inevitable. With Love, all things are possible. No matter how profound our trauma and history, if we are willing to cultivate compassion through practice and see from a new lens and perspective, we heal and return to our natural state, which is lovability.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

SONIYAH: In our modern world, there is infinite "advice" from podcasts, books, media, blogs, friends, and family about Love and relationships that is so misleading. It amplifies the fears and challenges that people have gone through and validates their limiting beliefs versus creating growth and recovery. When it comes to matters of the Heart, nothing is black and white or one size fits all. There is no one way for each person to heal because we are all unique in how find our way back to our innate selves.


RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

SONIYAH: One of the biggest myths is that we cannot heal and create Love simultaneously. This is not true. 30% of people that have just initiated a conversation with me end up meeting their person. They haven't even started the work yet. To this I say, "Finding Love is inevitable, however let's do the deeper work so you can actually receive Love in a way that you never have before and for this connection to be sustainable." So yes, it is possible to meet your Beloved having done no work, however, it may not be sustainable.

Another biggie connected to the above myth is constant comparison to other people's journeys and trauma. I hear people say, "How can THEY have a relationship and they haven't done any work yet?" My Love Research shows that no one journey is the same. If we don't know the story of a person or couple and we are making assumptions based on what we are seeing on the surface, we end up keeping ourselves stuck and in the cycle of judgement and comparison.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

SONIYAH: Because your journey is individual and depends on the season of healing you're in, the resources, tools, and next steps I would offer would be personal to you. The best next step would be reaching out to Finding Bliss for a Discovery Session if you feel driven to dive deeper.



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I soooo ditto everything that Soniyah has offered here and encourage you, if you're currently seeking love, to check out her site and all of the great resources for more encouragement, support and inspiration!


To Love!



P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Get ready to unlock your potential and break free from self-sabotage in this empowering workshop designed to identify and overcome self-limiting beliefs, fostering personal growth and resilience!

Overcoming self-sabotage is essential because it allows us to align our actions with our true goals and values, unlocking our full potential. When we recognize and address the fears and limiting beliefs that drive self-sabotaging behaviors, we build confidence, strengthen relationships, and create a path to personal growth.

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

February 10th

RELATIONSHIPS

Relationships have great significance for us all in terms of support, love, validation, a sense of belonging, and even a sense of "family." We will explore what happens around our needs and wants in relationships and what comes up around getting attached.

Learn More & Register Here

The power of the mind-body connection 🧠👋

I recently connected with Jennie Delreeve, a health practicioner who, alongside her partner Duncan, help women who have experienced trauma feel safe, strong, and confident in mind and body to reverse pelvic organ prolapse naturally and return to running, lifting, and high-impact sports! 

Duncan works with the body, and Jennie with the mind and emotional repatterning. 

Jennie was told that she would never heal three very severe prolapses by several medical professionals. She was also told to forget her active lifestyle. She always loved running, lifting, skiing, climbing, and playing with our kids. This was one of the lowest points of her life.

She thought she was beyond her past s*xual abuse trauma, but soon realized that although she was no longer in the trauma of the experience, the emotional patterns still remained.

She knew that if she moved out of a dominant emotional set point of vulnerability to a place of safety, she would no longer manifest the most vulnerable part of my body falling out!

She healed in 9 months and has never looked back. At age 49, she do CrossFit 4 times a week, ski, run, and jump.

I'm so glad to introduce you to this powerhouse team!


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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

JENNIE: I have been a life coach, health practitioner, and law of attraction mentor since 2008, so when I got the prolapses, I was so shocked! "Why me?", I thought.

It seemed I was doing all the right things: healthy eating, meditation, gut cleanses, drinking water, and all the other stuff. However, I knew that instability in the mind = instability in the body.

I soon realized that the vulnerability pattern from s*xual abuse was still running wild in my life - fear of the dark, fear my kids would be abducted, fear I would be attacked when out running alone, and very low self-worth.

I have coined this the "vulnerability to defensiveness" cycle. I had experienced anger and rage my whole life, but I couldn't admit it because I was a "coach." As soon as I embraced my emotions authentically, allowed myself to feel them without judgment, and authentically processed the patterns, my body fully healed to the amazement of three urogynaecologist.

I celebrated by competing in a strong woman competition!


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

JENNIE: You can do all the things, such as meditating, drinking water, and the list goes on, but you can never "out-act" emotional patterns.

They will eventually manifest in the physical body. Tension in the mind equals tension in the body. When you feel vulnerable, you will often manifest physical issues in the most vulnerable part of your body.

Allowing yourself to feel anger and using techniques to move it through the body is a gateway to better-feeling emotions.

Anger is a powerful and transformative emotion.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

JENNIE: Most women have been told that pelvic organ prolapse is purely a physical issue and that it cannot be healed.

They are also told that even if they have surgery, the success rate is very low, and they will need subsequent surgeries.

This causes women to feel powerless and incapacitated.

The future looks bleak!

29 prolapses healed in the last year in our Unshakeable You program.

These are only the success stories we are allowed to share because we can only share the journeys of the women who received confirmation from a pelvic floor physical therapist or urogynecologist.

Women overcome this by dealing with the emotional patterns created by sexual trauma and inspirational stories of hope from other women who have healed.


RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

JENNIE: That ligaments, fascia, and torn muscles can't heal.

That a prolapse is purely a hernia and can't heal.

We have physical protocols in our program, as well as emotional processes.

However, the human body is more than a meat suit.

We all have an energy field that attracts according to our emotional patterns.

As soon as you start to feel a little differently, you switch on the healing blueprint inside every cell in your body.

Fascia, ligaments, muscles, and tendons are intelligent.

A new reality can find you when your cells react to consciousness rather than negative thinking and feeling.

Many of the women in our program heal in 3-6 months.


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

JENNIE: We have a website and YouTube channel where you can delve into our Blueprint and watch inspirational healing stories.

We also run a free weekly masterclass called "3 Secrets to Heal Your Prolapse." The masterclass is a live, interactive group masterclass with Jennie. We deep dive into the Unshakeable You Blueprint.


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I truly appreciate the perspective that Jennie and Duncan bring to this area of growth and healing that too often is not spoken about, and hope you find some encouragement and inspiration from their story!


To finding your path to healing!
Rachel

P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.'

RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Are you ready to put your fears of abandonment

behind you so you can have happy, healthy relationships?

The fear of abandonment is extremely common in those of us who have been abused. When it comes to abandonment, we are very much driven by a fear of the unknown. We do not know if the people we are connecting to may one day withdraw their protection or support.

"People always leave" can be a common inner belief we hold. Some of the behaviors that we fall into as survivors to try to avoid being abandoned can set us up for failure in our relationships.

Boy have I been there! And I can't wait to share with you what helped me put an end to this paralyzing fear.

By participating this master class, you will:

* Gain access to my proven process that will help you feel more confident and secure so you can have a romantic relationship that lasts

* Explore in a safe step-by-step way the destructive false beliefs you have about yourself and others that cause you to run away from relationships

* Identify the toxic behaviors that keep you trapped in a cycle of abandonment and fear and how to overcome them

* Learn practical, easy to use strategies for how to put an end to sabotaging all of your relationships

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

January 13th

HOPE


As survivors going through the healing process, it’s beyond difficult at times to have hope. We may not even want to hope because we don’t feel able to withstand any more hurts and disappointments. And yet hope is what keeps us from death and pulls us toward life. Without hope, we can’t heal.

Learn More & Register Here

Healing Childhood Trauma Through Psychedelic Therapy

I recently connected with Alex Abraham, an author with a powerful story about using psychedelic plant medicine to work through childhood trauma, and I wanted to share a bit of his story and approach to healing with you today.

As a child, Alex was s*xually assaulted by an authority figure. He blocked it out and lived for years with chronic physical symptoms. No treatment or therapy helped.. until he tried psychedelic therapy.

This opened the door to the feelings and emotions he had been suppressing, and to work through his trauma and begin to heal.

This is the first time that Alex has told his story, and he explores the power of psychedelic plant medicine as a tool for healing trauma and transforming mental health, showing perspective to alternative healing.

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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

ALEX: My inspiration to start writing about this topic was my own story. As a young adult, I began having horrible pelvic floor problems. After trying many different modalities for years, I finally stumbled on MDMA assisted psychotherapy in an attempt to fix these physical issues. 

It quickly became clear that I had been badly s*xually abused as a child. Initially, I struggled with this revelation, but over time and through psychedelic medicine, breathwork, and other therapies, I have been able to move through my abuse.

Now, I feel compelled to share my story in hopes of helping others.  

RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

ALEX: A key lesson I have learned through my experience in healing from childhood s*xual abuse, is how much of my day-to-day reality is a choice. 

For example, I used to take things very personally. I saw any comment that wasn’t positive as a criticism and a personal attack.

But these days, I have a much better understanding that it is never personal. And that in the context of my abuse, it was not about me, but about my abuser. 

I was absolutely victimized as a child. But as an adult, I have chosen not to stay a victim (at least most of the time), and now see my abuse as a way for me to grow and evolve as a person (most of the time). 

I think there will always be challenges in life, but how I choose to perceive these challenges is important. 

RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

ALEX: One challenge I have seen is that survivors often do not believe they can heal, or even that they deserve to heal. Being s*xually abused can lead to self-loathing and a lack of belief in one’s self. 

I really struggled with self-love and self-belief, until I started doing psychedelic medicine. Psychedelics helped me reevaluate and ultimately reset many of the default patterns I had established both about myself and my life. Now, I have a much better understanding of how to see through negative thought-patterns and limiting self-beliefs. 

RACHEL:  Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

ALEX: Unfortunately, a major misconception many seem to have about childhood s*xual abuse is that it is an uncommon occurrence. It is hard to get exact numbers, but some studies have shown that as many as 1 in 3 girls, and 1 in 6 boys are being s*xually abused as children. 

Another misconception is that the perpetrators of childhood s*xual abuse are often strangers. It is actually often a community member, a family member, or someone the child knows that perpetuates the abuse. 

I was unfortunately abused by a teacher at my elementary school. 

I believe having a better understanding of how common this behavior is can lead to greater awareness and more preventative measures to help children. 

RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

ALEX: Aside from my book, I would recommend the book A Dose of Hope by Dr. Dan Engle on Amazon. This book is a great introduction into psychedelic therapy, and how it can heal all kinds of trauma. 

Other resources I would recommend are holotropic breathwork, a journaling practice, and finding some sort of physical activity that can help survivors get back into their bodies. 

Many childhood s*xual abuse survivors are both physically and emotionally dissociated. I believe all the practices listed above can help survivors get in better touch with themselves, their emotions, and their body. 

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Alex has spent years researching, exploring, and experiencing firsthand therapeutic treatment options for healing from childhood s*xual abuse, and he is currently working on launching a non-profit called Psychedelic Pathways that helps people pay for psychedelic treatments.

I truly appreciate his perspective, and hope you find some encouragement and inspiration from his story!


To finding your path to healing!



P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

Forget everything you think you know about psychedelics. They're not punchlines. They're not party favors for aging hippies. Instead, as Alex Abraham discovered, they are an innovative approach that can help heal trauma and chronic pain.

Trauma and Ecstasy takes a long, hard look at pain, from the sudden unexplained pelvic floor discomfort that afflicted Alex at the end of a trip abroad to the deeply rooted anxiety and shame of a childhood robbed of innocence. In this powerful and courageous memoir, Alex takes you on his journey of healing from sexual abuse while searching for answers to his health issues that traditional medicine failed to explain or treat.

Trauma and Ecstasy is quite likely the most engaging, honest, and compelling memoir of surviving childhood sexual trauma you'll ever read. It offers the hope of real help for healing from the emotional and physical aftermath of abuse and chronic pain.

Get your copy

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UPCOMING EVENTS

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Get ready to level up your boundaries game during this live conversation where you'll learn powerful frameworks for setting and honoring your boundaries.

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

November 11th

FAMILY


As survivors of childhood abuse, family can be a continuous problem. In the same way that our families might have failed us as children, they so often fail us again as adults.

Learn More & Register Here

Are you comfortable in your body?

For many survivors of childhood s*xual abuse, the journey toward healing can be fraught with discomfort. The body often becomes a site of trauma, a vessel that holds memories and sensations tied to painful experiences. The complex relationship between the mind and body can make living in one’s skin feel like a challenge.

Yet, within this discomfort lies the potential for profound healing and self-discovery.

From the moment abuse occurs, the body begins to absorb the trauma. This can manifest in various ways—chronic pain, anxiety, dissociation, and a persistent sense of unease. Many people report feeling disconnected from their bodies, as if they exist in a state of constant tension, waiting for the next threat. The body becomes a reminder of the past, complicating the process of moving forward.

Recognizing this discomfort is the first step toward reclaiming one's physical self. It is essential to acknowledge the feelings that arise when faced with one’s body, whether they be fear, shame, or even anger. Understanding that these feelings are valid and rooted in lived experience can be empowering.

While the journey often begins with confronting pain, it is also essential to seek out and cultivate moments of pleasure. Pleasure can be a powerful antidote to trauma, reminding survivors that their bodies are capable of joy, connection, and intimacy. This could involve simple practices, such as:

Mindful Movement: Engaging in activities like yoga, dance, or tai chi can foster a sense of agency and connection to the body. These practices encourage awareness and presence, allowing you to reclaim your physicality in a safe environment.

Sensory Exploration: Engaging the senses through activities like cooking, gardening, or art can create positive associations with the body. Focusing on textures, tastes, and colors can help you reconnect with their physical selves in an enjoyable way.

Therapeutic Touch: For some, exploring non-sexual touch—such as massage or cuddling with a pet—can help to re-establish a sense of safety and comfort in their bodies. This can facilitate healing by allowing you to experience affection without fear or trauma.

The most important thing is to approach healing with compassion and patience.

You may encounter setbacks or days when discomfort overwhelms you. Acknowledging these moments as part of the journey is crucial.

The good news is - we can reclaim our bodies and...

• Learn to treat ourselves with kindness
• Develop a deeper awareness of bodily sensations
• Learn to differentiate between discomfort that signals danger and discomfort that signifies growth

Living in the body as a survivor of childhood s*xual abuse is undeniably complex. However, by exploring both discomfort and pleasure, we can carve out a path toward healing and foster a more profound connection to our bodies, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.

To feeling comfortable in your own skin!
Rachel

P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

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UPCOMING EVENTS

October 10th, 4:30p-6p PT / 7:30p-9p ET 

LIVE ZOOM EVENT

Join us for an empowering and supportive live Q&A session designed specifically for survivors of childhood trauma. This safe and compassionate space is dedicated to fostering healing, understanding, and growth so you can live your best damn life!

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

October 14th

LIVING IN OUR BODIES

As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, many of us find living in our bodies discomforting. Our abuse is taken in through our bodies and our bodies hold a record of our memories. We will explore the discomforts and pleasures, the way healing is related, and any lessons you've learned along the way for living in your body.

Learn More & Register Here

Did you have shitty parents?

 

Parent wounds are emotional injuries inflicted by our caregivers, often during our formative years. 

These wounds can manifest as feelings of inadequacy, neglect, or unmet needs, impacting our self-esteem and relationships well into adulthood. 

Healing from such wounds is a crucial step toward emotional well-being and personal growth. Here’s a guide to help navigate this complex journey toward restoration.

First, we begin to identify the relationships in our lives that are really broken or missing and acknowledge that a parent wound exists and its impact. 

This involves recognizing and accepting the impact this person’s behavior or absence has had on your emotional health. Reflect on specific instances or patterns that contributed to your wound. 

Explore how your parent wound influences your self-perception, relationships, and behavior. Notice patterns in your relationships, such as seeking validation or avoiding intimacy, which may be linked to unresolved issues with your parents.

Journaling can be a helpful tool in this process, allowing you to articulate your feelings and experiences.

Next, we want to notice how we are trying to fill that void with other people, as in “this person is going to take the place of that person.” 

So what I want to offer you today is that our goal needs to be instead, to acknowledge and be present to what the people in our lives are giving us, but to recognize that it's not going to fill any particular gap that's been left there by another person. 

So imagine it like this: 

You have like this father shaped space, and let's just say it's shaped like a triangle. Now your father maybe was an absent father or was an abuser, and so this space is not filled with the love or the nurturing or the compassion or the care that we would have wanted you to have gained or had from a father. 

Now, the people in your life who might be giving you love or nurturing in the present day, their love is shaped like a circle, so it is love or nurturing or care, and it feels good, but we can't take it and try to shove it into this father shaped space, because when we do that, two things happen. 

First, you actually feel unfulfilled, and second, you miss out on the love you're actually receiving. 

So at the end of the day, it's about allowing the desire to be loved to be fulfilled in other ways, instead of trying to replace the love or whatever it might be, nurturing, compassion, understanding that was missed, even protection. 

So the next step then is to make our peace with the space. It is just a space. 

Here's the spot where the dad's love, the mother's compassion, the sisters support was supposed to be.

So it's about letting the space be there. And this doesn't mean we have to like it, and that we won't be sad sometimes because of the space, but there's actually nothing bad or wrong with it being there. 

For example, one of my clients had a father shaped space, a space in which he didn't receive any nurturing from his father, and in his relationship with his girlfriend, he was constantly making her responsible for replacing that nurturing. And so he was on the watch all the time for any signs that she wasn't being nurturing, and that would cause a big trigger, because she was responsible for that, and if she was anything less than that, that was a problem.

And then, of course, it was exhausting, because no matter how much nurturing she would give to him, it was never going to be enough to fill that space because it didn't fit; because she's not his father. 

So bottom line, we want to be really careful to not make other people in our lives responsible for filling the spaces that are there because of other people in our lives who abdicated that responsibility or didn't show up, and instead, we want to focus on receiving what they are offering and taking at it as its own thing. 

So take some time and check and notice, is there any way that you're doing this in your life? Is there anyone you're making responsible to fill the space that you have you?

Want to learn more about healing the parent wound? Be sure to check out this upcoming summit!


To healing!

P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self session.

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UPCOMING EVENTS

Registration is officially OPEN for Healing the Parent Wound!

This online event was created to help you heal from the impact of your mother or father wound so you can create the authentic life you deserve and desire.

The retreat begins September 10 and it’s going to be 3 days of transformative teaching that you won’t want to miss.

Learn More & Register Here

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in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

September 9th

SHAME

As survivors of childhood abuse, one of the most persistent and pervasive feelings we experience is shame. It affects our sense of self, our inner emotional lives, our relationships, and more. 

Learn More & Register Here