What does it actually mean to be safe?

I recently had the great joy of connecting with Stacey Fitzgerald. She is a Certified Nutritionist, Somatic Breathwork Practitioner, Trauma-Informed horse trainer, Singer/Songwriter, Wife, Mother, and Creator of Becoming Safe - an online course and community for healing through all forms of betrayal trauma. 

As soon as we started talking, I just knew I had to introduce you to her. I even had the chance to attend her amazing breathwork workshop, and it was so soothing, healing, and eye-opening!

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RACHEL: What inspired you to start writing about/exploring this topic?

STACEY: In February 2021, I had what I call my Breakdown/Breakthrough - a resurfacing of unhealed and undiagnosed Complex PTSD. I was so rocked in my body, especially because I had done a lot of study and had a reasonably deep head knowledge of what I thought it was to BE well.

I realized, through my own experience, that the trauma I had processed in my mind, was still stored in my body and had been coming out through my songwriting for decades!

And it was now coming out through severe panic attacks and debilitating physical symptoms.

I began a deeper study of all things nervous system and trauma, adding to my head knowledge, and then really finding and DOING the things for my body that helped to move the needle from KNOWING to BEING.


RACHEL: What key insights or lessons have you learned through your experiences with this subject?

STACEY: One of the questions I heard posed early on from an expert I was listening to was, "When in life have you FELT SAFE?" I found myself stunned - a bit because I wasn't really sure what was meant by "safe" and quickly after quite certain that I had NEVER really felt safe!

A key insight from that point was how we needed to REGULATE our nervous system BEFORE we processed trauma. I realized I had been processing in my head, but not regulating my body. Regulation before processing is key!

The other key insight has been that our nervous system is not our enemy, even when it feels like it is! It is actually doing exactly what it was designed to do - keep us alive, and alert us that it needs our attention. We are not broken - we are functioning exactly as intended.

The missing piece was understanding the language of the nervous system and how to listen and respond to it.

Our body knows the way home, and when we learn to listen, and become friends with our nervous system, the way back to our true self becomes much clearer.


RACHEL: What challenges or misconceptions do you think people face when dealing with this topic, and how can they overcome them?

STACEY: I think many people feel like something is "wrong" with them - that they are alone, crazy, and broken. This misconception, as explained above, can lead to utter hopelessness, depression or anxiety, and serious health issues among many other uncomfortable and debilitating effects.

Knowing that the answer is closer than they realize and may have just been mislabeled as "the problem" brings hope and a sense of security to someone who may have been feeling really lost for a long time.

Another challenge is that others in their life may not understand what they are going through and so their efforts to "help" can often be more harmful than helpful and lead to further disconnect, loneliness, and confusion.

By connecting with a program, a person, or a community that gets them - understands what they're going through and how to take steps back to feeling safe - can be a lifeline in a sea of chaos!


RACHEL: Are there any common myths or misunderstandings about this topic that you'd like to address?

STACEY: The word itself - SAFE - can have multiple meanings and implications. For instance, "playing it safe" can infer that someone is hiding or holding back. And feeling "unsafe" can mistakenly be attributed only to physically dangerous situations, circumstances, and people.

When I refer to BEING SAFE, I'm talking about a felt sense of being at home in your own body, able to be calm and alert at the same time, having a nervous system that can handle the stresses of life and then return to a restful state when needed. It's about having CHOICE and not being STUCK in PATTERNS of disfunction.

When I say you can BE SAFE I use the letters as an acronym to describe how it feels: Secure & Stabile; Awake, Aware, and Alive; Free from...and Free to...; and Expansive - able to grow, learn, explore, and step into the fullness of what it means to be YOU!

Now who doesn't want to be SAFE when viewed in that light!?


RACHEL: What resources, tools, or next steps would you recommend for readers who want to dive deeper into this topic?

STACEY: I highly recommend learning about how your nervous system functions and what it's doing for you, and developing a regular practice of working with your body (physiology & nervous system), soul (mind/thought, emotions/feelings, will/choices), and spirit (your breath and connection to Breath/Spirit).

I offer an online course and community that contains all of that called Becoming Safe, as well as a rich resource section with connections to other people and sources like the work Rachel does.

I also offer a 90 Day daily somatic practice journey called "The Doing" which is a great way to gently work with your nervous system and learn it's language, developing a friendship that serves you daily and has your back, as well as Somatic Breathwork Sessions designed to do the "deep" cleaning of clearing out what no longer serves us and re-wiring into how we want to feel and show up.

Both of those offerings, as well as links to my Facebook pages and YouTube channels can be found on my website: onpurposeinternational.org

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To your healing,

Rachel


P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

You will get to be part of the whole process and learn about Stacey, the deep questions she so often ask that spark the deep songs that come flowing out, the stories behind why she's writing the song, and you'll get to hear it develop from its first notes on the guitar or piano, and its first scribbles on the page!

EXPLORE HERE!

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UPCOMING EVENTS


brought to you in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, healing is not linear - and yet, it is still a process!

This month, we explore the stages of healing and the best resources to access at each stage. 

REGISTER HERE

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Soul Care for Self-Care is a virtual summit for those navigating the long arc of healing from sexual trauma - and the supporters, advocates, and space-holders who walk beside them.

Over four sessions, we’ll explore what it means to reconnect with your body, reclaim your strengths, and stay rooted in a world that often feels unsteady. You’ll receive tools, support, and space to heal - without pressure to perform.

* Embracing Your Value through CliftonStrengths

* Taking Charge of Your Trauma Brain

* Coming Home to the Body: Neuro-Somatic Pathways Out of Fight, Flight & Freeze

* Staying Regulated in Collective Chaos

Come as you are. You’ll be met with care.

Date: 3/14
Time: 9a-1:30p PT / 12p-4:30p ET

REGISTER HERE

Finding Beauty in the Pieces: A Journey Through Healing

I’ve had the privilege of knowing Karen Carey since 2017, and over the years, it’s been incredible to watch both of us evolve and grow through our own healing journeys. Even from afar, tracking her path has been inspiring - seeing someone take the broken pieces of life and intentionally turn them into something whole, meaningful, and even joyful.

This month, I want to introduce you to her book, Unbroken: Turning Your Pieces Into Peace and Joy.

While I haven’t read it cover-to-cover yet, I’ve witnessed Karen’s wisdom, compassion, and courage over the years - and I know this book reflects exactly that. Unbroken blends memoir with practical guidance, reflection prompts, and embodied practices, giving readers a roadmap for healing, self-discovery, and transformation.

What I love about this is the reminder that repairing can be messy - and that’s okay.

Healing isn’t linear.

Sometimes it feels chaotic, confusing, or even impossible.

And yet, when we show up for ourselves, work through the hard stuff, and let our growth unfold, the results are always beautiful.

Unbroken is for anyone who’s ever felt lost or disconnected, and it’s a reminder that our wounds don’t mean we’re damaged - they are invitations to become more whole, more resilient, and more connected to our true selves.

A small action you can take today:
Take a moment to look at one area of your life where you feel “broken” or scattered. Write down one small step you could take to care for that part of yourself this week - whether it’s journaling, setting a boundary, or asking for support. Even a tiny action is a way to start turning pieces into peace.


To celebrating the beautiful, messy, powerful work of healing that each of us is doing!

P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

Unbroken is a powerful blend of memoir and self-help that invites readers on a journey of healing, self-discovery, and transformation.

Through deeply personal stories, Karen Carey shares how she found peace, meaning, and even joy in the very places she once felt broken. With honesty, compassion, and hard-won wisdom, Unbroken offers readers a new perspective: that our wounds don't mean we're damaged-they are invitations to become more whole.

Drawing on decades of experience as a life coach and spiritual guide, Karen weaves practical guidance, reflection prompts, and embodied practices into each chapter, creating a roadmap for readers to reclaim their power and reconnect with their true selves.

Written for anyone who has ever felt lost or disconnected, Unbroken is both a comfort and a call to action. It reminds us that healing is possible-and that what once broke us can become the very thing that sets us free.

GET YOUR COPY

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UPCOMING EVENTS


brought to you in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

Relationships have great significance for us all in terms of support, love, validation, a sense of belonging, and even a sense of "family." We will explore what happens around our needs and wants in relationships and what comes up around getting attached.  

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Join us for this transformative workshop all about setting intentions in a way that actually feels powerful, doable, and aligned with who you are becoming.

This isn’t about forcing yourself into resolutions that fizzle out. It’s about tuning in, getting grounded, and choosing what you want to create from a place of clarity, self trust, and yes...a little badass energy.

If you’re craving a reset, a moment to reconnect with yourself, or a space where your intentions actually stick, this class is for you.

REGISTER HERE

Includes 7-Day Replay

Not Another Year of Pushing

As we step into a new year, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what it truly means to heal - not just from trauma, but from the patterns of pushing, proving, and overriding ourselves in the name of productivity, success, or even “purpose.”

Recently, I reconnected with Christa, a graduate of my Beyond Surviving program. We originally connected around the meaningful work she has been doing as a coach, and we talked about sharing more about that journey here. But in our conversation, something even more honest and powerful emerged.

Christa shared that she has decided to take a break from her coaching business this year. Not because the work isn’t meaningful, but because it is emotionally taxing - and she is choosing to honor her capacity, her intuition, and her need for balance. When she told me this, my response was immediate and wholehearted: this is a big win.

This kind of choice doesn’t come from avoidance or failure. It comes from healing. From learning how to listen to your body, your nervous system, and your inner knowing. From trusting yourself enough to say no - even to things that once felt like the “right” path.

I invited Christa, only if it felt aligned for her, to write about this pivot as a New Year reflection. Not another year of pressing, forcing, and depleting ourselves - but a year oriented toward peace, alignment, and flow.

What she wrote is honest, thoughtful, and deeply resonant. I’m so grateful she was willing to share it here:

When I started my journey into healing my digestive issues in my early twenties, I was eager to learn everything I could about health, well-being, and personal development. What began as a personal search for answers slowly turned into something else: I started taking certification courses, not just to understand myself better, but to help others, too. After completing my Ayurveda certification almost two decades later, I stepped into the role of health counsellor, ready and excited to work with clients.

Looking back now, six years later, I can see much more clearly what happened.

What I truly wanted was simple: to help people. To understand them, support them, guide them in breaking patterns, and help them heal, just as I had done. But very quickly, my days filled up with other things. Creating programs. Building websites. Writing yet another landing page. Designing freebies. Posting on social media. Learning marketing strategies. Trying to “grow my audience.”

This was all well-meant advice from the various business coaches I worked with. And it wasn’t necessarily wrong. But it slowly drained the life out of me.

It was stressful and time-consuming, and the painful irony was that I was hardly coaching anyone. I spent more time thinking about clever Instagram captions than sitting with real people, listening deeply, doing the work I was actually trained for and loved.

Without really choosing it, I had become a creator-based entrepreneur — something I never aspired to be. At the same time, I was struggling financially, while being promised six-figure outcomes if I just tried harder, created more, optimized better.

Over those six years, I created program after program. I hired more business coaches. I followed strategies that didn’t fit me and watched them fail. The process depleted me, chipped away at my confidence, and eventually left me questioning whether I wanted to keep coaching at all.

But I am not quitting coaching.

What I am quitting are fancy program names, endless landing pages, constant posting on Instagram, and the pressure to produce more content, more materials, more “proof.” I’m quitting doing things just for the gram. I’m quitting the all-consuming stress. I never wanted that life.

This pivot I’m making now — moving away from being a creator-based entrepreneur and back to simply being a coach — isn’t a step backwards. It’s a return. A remembering. A choice to honor how I actually work best, not how the industry says I should.

And maybe this journey was never really about building something external at all. Maybe it was my own healing path. A slow return home to myself. Moving through trauma, hardship, and old patterns of pushing, so I could finally learn how to listen, trust, and honor my own rhythm.

As we move into a new year, I’m not setting intentions around bigger goals or more output. I’m choosing a different orientation, even though I don’t yet know exactly how it will unfold.

Less pressing.
Less forcing.
Less building from depletion.

More listening.
More honesty.
More choosing ease. 

I don’t have this all figured out. I’m not claiming that choosing peace automatically makes things easy or clear. What I am doing is experimenting — noticing what feels aligned and what doesn’t, and allowing myself to respond instead of override.

This pivot isn’t a final destination. It’s a practice. One I’m committed to trying and trusting.

Christa is a non-diet Ayurveda health counsellor, intuitive eating coach, and body image coach. With her approach, she helps womxn release stress, guilt, and anxiety around food and helps them to trust their body’s cues again with compassion and confidence. Originally from the Netherlands, she resides in Vancouver with her wife and two cats and is a graduate of "Beyond Surviving". 

If you are interested in learning more about her work, reach out to her at christa@sageandsaintsayurveda.com. 

I hope her words invite you to pause and gently ask yourself - what would it look like to honor yourself more this year? 

To flow instead of force!
Rachel


P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self Session.

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RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

Legendary psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's famous investigations of "optimal experience" have revealed that what makes an experience genuinely satisfying is a state of consciousness called flow.

During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life.

In this new edition of his groundbreaking classic work, Csikszentmihalyi ("the leading researcher into ‘flow states’" —Newsweek) demonstrates the ways this positive state can be controlled, not just left to chance. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience teaches how, by ordering the information that enters our consciousness, we can discover true happiness, unlock our potential, and greatly improve the quality of our lives.

GET YOUR COPY

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UPCOMING EVENTS


brought to you in partnership with CPTSD Foundation

As survivors going through the healing process, it’s beyond difficult at times to have hope. We may not even want to hope because we don’t feel able to withstand any more hurts and disappointments. And yet hope is what keeps us from death and pulls us toward life. Without hope, we can’t heal.

REGISTER HERE

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What You’ll Learn:

By the end of this 90-minute session, you’ll walk away with:

✔ A clear understanding of nervous system regulation

Why it’s foundational for healing -  especially when supporting a child.

✔ How to recognize dysregulation & survival stress responses

Learn boiling point / freeze point language, how to do capacity checks (aka Window of Tolerance), and how to respond in the moment.

✔ Tools for grounding both yourself and your child

Experience simple, effective exercises you can use on the fly.

✔ Internal & external resourcing strategies

Identify what soothes, settles, and expands your child’s (and your own) capacity.

✔ How to create a personalized “Resource Kit” for kids

Know exactly what to reach for when your child hits an “I need help right now” moment.

✔ A fresh perspective on behavior

Learn to spot survival stress responses (fight, flight, freeze/shutdown) so you can respond with attunement instead of overwhelm.

✔ Live Q&A

Bring your real-life scenarios - we’ll workshop them together.

REGISTER HERE

Includes 7-Day Replay