August 28, 2024

Cultivate Both Calm and Success By Using These Stress-Free Self-Improvement Methods

 

Photo via Pexels

 

Embarking on a journey of personal development offers the dual promise of enhancing one's skills and broadening horizons. However, this path requires careful navigation to avoid the pitfalls of burnout that can derail progress. By adopting mindful and strategic approaches, one can foster sustainable growth and resilience. This guide, presented by Rachel Grant Coaching, provides key principles to help maintain your well-being while pursuing your developmental aspirations.

Start with Clear, Manageable Steps

Setting realistic and clear objectives is crucial in achieving your personal development goals. Big dreams are important, but breaking them down into manageable steps prevents you from feeling overwhelmed and allows you to celebrate small achievements. For example, if learning a new language is your goal, start with basic phrases before advancing to full conversations. This structured approach helps make each step achievable and keeps motivation levels high.

Cultivate Mindfulness to Stay Grounded

Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine can dramatically improve your focus and reduce stress, aiding your personal development. Practices such as meditation and deep breathing exercises not only help in reducing anxiety but also enhance your ability to remain present and focused amidst challenges. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, a few minutes of mindfulness can reset your mental state and sharpen your focus, preparing you to tackle your goals with a calm mindset.

Balance Your Schedule for Optimal Productivity

Maintaining a balanced schedule is essential for personal growth and avoiding burnout. Designate time blocks for work, development activities, leisure, and rest to ensure a healthy balance that sustains your energy and productivity. For instance, integrate personal development into your weekly schedule to make it a routine part of your life, rather than an additional burden. This approach not only boosts productivity but also helps you stay energized and committed to your goals.

The Advantages of Online Learning

Pursuing an online degree can significantly enhance your educational and professional trajectory due to its inherent flexibility and accessibility. The option to study remotely allows you to integrate learning seamlessly into your daily life, fostering improved time management and self-discipline. You may consider this path especially rewarding in fields like nursing, where obtaining a master’s degree online can open doors to specialized roles such as nurse educator, informatics specialist, administrator, or advanced practice nurse.

Adaptability as a Key to Sustained Growth

Being adaptable is vital when pursuing personal development, as unexpected challenges can arise. Embrace flexibility in your plans to accommodate these changes without derailing your progress. If setbacks occur, instead of giving up, reassess and adjust your plans accordingly. For example, if a missed deadline disrupts your schedule, extend your timeline or modify your objectives to better suit your current circumstances, keeping your growth journey on track.

Make Self-Care a Non-Negotiable Priority

Prioritizing self-care is crucial to maintaining the energy needed to achieve your personal development goals. Ensure you're getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and taking time to relax. These basic needs are often overlooked in the pursuit of personal growth but are foundational to sustained success. When your body and mind are well-nourished and rested, you’re better equipped to tackle challenges and stay focused on your goals.

Keep Your Journey Enjoyable

Finding pleasure in your personal development activities is crucial for maintaining motivation over the long haul. Opt for pursuits that capture your genuine interest, ensuring that your self-improvement efforts are both stimulating and enjoyable. Engage in activities like acquiring a new skill, delving into subjects that intrigue you, or embracing a hobby that sparks joy. If your personal development tasks begin to feel burdensome, consider this a signal to revitalize your approach with options that bring excitement and fulfillment.

Achieving personal development goals is a rewarding yet demanding process that necessitates a balanced approach to sustain both enthusiasm and health. As you strive for growth, remember that the journey is as important as the destination. Implementing practices that prevent overload and promote well-being is crucial for long-term success.

August 6, 2024

What it takes to trust others...

Trusting our own heart and mind and others is definitely a skill we have to acquire in order to thrive. Being our most authentic self, marching to the beat of our own drum, charting a course that is alignment with our own values all rely on trust.

Yet, for many, the journey to trust can be hindered by past experiences of abuse, which often sow seeds of self-doubt. However, overcoming these challenges is not just possible but essential for reclaiming one's narrative and identity. 

Building trust requires consistency, integrity, and mutual respect. It often begins with small interactions that demonstrate reliability and goodwill. These interactions create a sense of predictability and safety, reinforcing the belief that the other person can be relied upon.

Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial for building trust. When individuals express themselves clearly and listen attentively to others, they demonstrate respect and create a foundation for understanding.

Reliability: Consistently following through on commitments and promises builds trust. When someone demonstrates reliability in their actions, it shows they value the relationship and respect the other person's expectations.

Integrity: Acting in accordance with ethical principles and demonstrating honesty in interactions fosters trust. Integrity involves being truthful and transparent, even when faced with difficult situations.

Empathy and Understanding: Showing empathy and understanding towards others' feelings and perspectives helps build trust. When individuals feel heard and validated, they are more likely to trust that their needs and emotions are respected.

Once trust is established, it requires ongoing effort and nurturing to maintain:

Consistency: Continuously demonstrating reliability, honesty, and empathy reinforces trust over time.

Respect: Respecting boundaries, honoring commitments, and valuing differences sustain trust and strengthen relationships.

Repairing Trust: When trust is compromised, addressing issues promptly, apologizing sincerely, and taking corrective actions are essential for rebuilding trust.

Despite its challenges, trust brings numerous benefits. Trust fosters deeper connections, intimacy, and emotional support within relationships.  Feeling trusted and trusting others also contributes to greater emotional resilience, satisfaction, and overall well-being.

Even though abuse may cause you to be full of self-doubt, it does not have to remain this way. You can learn to trust yourself and your decisions and show up in the world as the amazing unique person you are!

Want to learn more about trusting others? Be sure to check out this month's Thrive Tribe!



To building strong connections!




P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self session.








RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

For years, Antonia silently navigated the dark fathoms of her internalized pain, which manifested in myriad self-destructive habits: disordered eating, drug and alcohol abuse. Only decades later, while recovering from a serious bike accident, did she finally stop running and start reflecting—giving her the power to fully accept what had happened to her in her early life and ultimately forgive the unforgivable.

Raw and visceral yet gorgeously lyrical, Underwater Daughter masterfully conveys not only the rippling effects of childhood trauma but also the hope that with honesty and work, healing is possible.





UPCOMING EVENTS



NEXT THRIVE TRIBE!
DISCERNMENT & TRUSTING OTHERS
LIVE ZOOM EVENT!

August 8th, 4:30p-6p PT / 7:30p-9p ET

Join us for this transformative workshop and leave with the confidence to navigate your relationships with discernment and trust. Whether in your personal or professional life, these skills will help you build stronger, more authentic connections.






in partnership with CPTSD Foundation


August 12th

PTSD


For survivors of childhood sexual abuse, PTSD is an anxiety disorder that is directly related to exposure to abuse and experiences of intense fear, helplessness, or horror. We will discuss PTSD, its symptoms, how memory is impacted, and how to overcome PTSD. 





July 2, 2024

When a sibling causes harm...

This month - we are going to address an often ignored topic: sibling s*xual abuse. Over the 17 years of doing this work, I've supported countless people in healing from this type of abuse, which has it's own unique aspects that need to be looked at and addressed in order to process and integrate the trauma and move forward.

Sibling s*xual abuse is a deeply distressing experience that can have profound effects on individuals. Unlike abuse by a stranger or an adult, sibling abuse occurs within the intimate circle of family life, making the path to healing complex and challenging. The added component that the sibling may have been a minor often leads people to further dismiss or not know how/if to hold the person accountable.

Sibling s*xual abuse involves any s*xual activity between siblings where one is the aggressor (regardless of age!) and the other is the victim. It can range from inappropriate touching to other forms of s*xual assault. Due to the familial bond and the complexities of sibling relationships, victims often face unique emotional and psychological struggles.

Yet healing is possible!


Victims of sibling s*xual abuse may experience a range of emotions including shame, guilt, fear, confusion, and anger. They may struggle with feelings of betrayal and a loss of trust not only in the abuser but also in other family members who may not have intervened or believed them.

In my work, helping clients come to terms with the reality of the abuse is the first crucial step. Many survivors of sibling abuse may initially minimize or rationalize what happened due to feelings of loyalty or fear of disrupting family dynamics. Acknowledging the abuse and accepting its impact is essential for moving forward.

Another big step is learning how to navigate family dynamics. In some cases, family therapy may be beneficial to address communication breakdowns, establish accountability, and create a safe environment for healing. 

Healing from sibling s*xual abuse is possible with support, understanding, and a commitment to self-care. Survivors deserve compassion, validation, and the opportunity to rebuild their lives free from the trauma of their past experiences.

By acknowledging the abuse, seeking help, and nurturing yourself, you can reclaim your sense of agency and move forward on your journey towards healing.


To healing!



P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self session.





I connect with Keeper Catran-Whitney and we discuss a very important and often ignored topic: the hidden trauma brothers experience after learning their sisters have been sexually abused.

We discuss the importance of brothers being invited to engage, so they can become allies with their sisters and also heal in their own right.

This hidden trauma must no longer be so!

Keeper wants you to know, “We must provide counseling, develop tools, and build support systems for brothers who are in trauma after learning their sister has been sexually abused in the home. We must first recognize that brothers are not unfeeling bystanders or gawking onlookers. Once we learn our sisters have been sexually abused in the home, we are victims like them.”




RESOURCE OF THE MONTH

Resolve is an intimate, wild ride from darkness and confusion to triumphant self-determination and inner peace. Living with a dark secret inside her, Alice Perle has overcome many obstacles on her path to healing in the shadow of sibling s*xual abuse. Needing to understand her experiences at a deeper level, Alice's personal story is interwoven with her fascinating explorations of societal and intergenerational factors. Resolve showcases an eclectic approach to healing that helped Alice reclaim her true self, freeing her to create a bright, joyous, peaceful life. Respectfully and sensitively written, Resolve is infused with hope and optimism. It is an inspiring story, offering us an intriguing window into one woman's experience recovering from sibling s*xual abuse-the hidden taboo.






UPCOMING EVENTS


FREE SUMMIT

STARTS JULY 8TH


Have you experienced Betrayal? How about Abandonment? Please join me and over 30 other experts for AVAIYA University’s Healing Abandonment & Betrayal Trauma online series




NEXT THRIVE TRIBE!
DISCERNMENT & TRUSTING OTHERS
LIVE ZOOM EVENT!

August 8th, 4:30p-6p PT / 7:30p-9p ET

Join us for this transformative workshop and leave with the confidence to navigate your relationships with discernment and trust. Whether in your personal or professional life, these skills will help you build stronger, more authentic connections.







in partnership with CPTSD Foundation


July 8th

INTIMACY


As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, we bring certain issues to our intimate relationships. Some of the issues that complicate intimate relationships for us are power, control, trust, and self-esteem. Usually, there are patterns in our intimate relationships that have a lot to do with our childhood sexual abuse.



 

June 4, 2024

Parenting with PTSD

One of the most common questions I get is, "Rachel, how do I not repeat the mistakes of my parents?"

My first answer is always, "Well you already are breaking old patterns just by even asking that question and being curious about what you can do differently. We can build on that!"

Parenting while also navigating PTSD and other trauma symptoms can sometimes overshadow the joy, love, and growth that comes with parenthood.

There are unique challenges. Yet, despite the obstacles, many individuals with PTSD navigate parenthood with grace, resilience, and unwavering love.


Understanding PTSD is crucial in comprehending its effects on parenting. PTSD can manifest in a myriad of ways, such as intrusive memories, hypervigilance, avoidance behaviors, and mood swings. These symptoms can significantly influence a parent's ability to connect with their children, manage stress, and maintain a sense of stability within the family dynamic.

One of the most significant challenges parents with PTSD face is managing triggers. Triggers are stimuli that evoke memories or emotions related to the traumatic event. For a parent with PTSD, triggers can arise unexpectedly, sometimes during routine interactions with their children. These triggers may lead to emotional distress, anxiety, or even dissociation, making it challenging to provide consistent and nurturing care to their children.

Furthermore, parenting with PTSD often involves navigating feelings of guilt and shame. Parents may feel guilty for being unable to fully engage with their children or for displaying symptoms of PTSD in front of them. They may also experience shame for not living up to societal standards of what constitutes "good" parenting. It's essential for parents with PTSD to recognize that their condition does not diminish their worth as parents. Seeking support and practicing self-compassion are crucial steps in overcoming feelings of guilt and shame.

Building a support network is paramount for parents with PTSD. Whether it's through coaching, support groups, or trusted friends and family members, having a support system can provide validation, empathy, and practical assistance. 

Communication is another key aspect of parenting with PTSD. Being open and honest with their children about their condition, in an age-appropriate manner, can foster understanding and empathy within the family. Moreover, establishing clear boundaries and routines can help create a sense of safety and predictability for both the parent and the child.

Self-care is not selfish; it's essential for parents with PTSD. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation, such as mindfulness, exercise, or creative expression, can help alleviate stress and improve overall well-being. Prioritizing self-care allows parents to recharge and better meet the demands of parenting.

Despite the challenges, parenting with PTSD can also be a source of strength and growth. Many parents find that their experiences with PTSD instill them with empathy, resilience, and a deeper appreciation for the present moment. By embracing their journey and seeking support when needed, parents with PTSD can create loving and nurturing environments where their children can thrive.


To pattern breaking!




P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self session.





RESOURCE OF THE MONTH


I'm excited to share this book with you all written 
by Beyond Surviving Graduate Julie Marrast!

Have you ever vowed that you would break free from the patterns of unhealthy parenting you experienced as a child? To never find yourself trapped in reactive behaviors, struggling with emotional regulation, or stuck in relationships that don’t nurture your well-being?

Many parents share this yearning for a healthier approach to parenting, yet still find themselves repeating familiar, unhealthy behaviors with their children. It’s so frustrating and heartbreaking to feel nothing but overwhelm, exhaustion, and an inability to change things for the better.

In Different Than Your Parents, Julie shares her personal struggles with these very same hurdles as a young mother and her journey to finally discovering the missing piece to overcoming them. After years of intricate research and deep personal practice, Marrast has developed her proprietary HERO LIFE HAPPY® Experience to help other parents do the same.





UPCOMING EVENTS


Intuition & Trusting Yourself

LIVE ZOOM EVENT THIS THURSDAY!

June 6th, 4:30p-6p PT / 7:30p-9p ET

Unlock your inner confidence & embrace self-trust in this empowering workshop designed to help you harness your instincts & navigate life's uncertainties with self-assurance.







in partnership with CPTSD Foundation


June 10th

BREAKING THE SILENCE


As survivors of childhood sexual abuse, one of the many reasons it’s so difficult to break the silence is the many negative messages we receive about ourselves. It’s a wonder we never tell anyone about the abuse. But tonight, even if you don’t share, come join us in breaking the silence. 


May 7, 2024

How to reclaim your dignity


I'm inspired today by the book shared below, Unbreakable Crown, written by our very own Dr. Carla Norris, who is one of my cherished Comment Moderators for the Healing from S*xual Abuse Facebook Group.

It got me thinking about how, in a world where abuse, in its various forms, can infiltrate even the most intimate corners of our lives, maintaining one's dignity becomes a profound act of resilience.

Abuse shatters not only the physical and emotional well-being of its victims but also attacks the very essence of their dignity. However, the journey towards healing and reclaiming one's self-worth is not insurmountable. It requires courage, support, and a steadfast commitment to honoring oneself despite the trauma endured.


Understanding Dignity in the Face of Abuse
Dignity, often described as the inherent value and worth of every individual, can feel irreparably damaged in the wake of abuse. Whether it's physical, emotional, verbal, or psychological, abuse seeks to strip away a person's sense of autonomy, self-respect, and dignity. It leaves scars that are not always visible to the naked eye but deeply felt within the core of one's being.

The journey towards reclaiming dignity starts with acknowledging the abuse for what it is – an egregious violation of human rights and a betrayal of trust. This acknowledgment is not an admission of weakness but rather a courageous step towards reclaiming power and agency over one's life.


Cultivating Self-Compassion
Self-compassion acts as a beacon of light in the darkness of abuse. It entails extending kindness, understanding, and empathy towards oneself, recognizing that you are not to blame for the abuse inflicted upon you. Self-blame is a common response to abuse, but it only serves to perpetuate feelings of shame and inadequacy.

Practicing self-compassion involves treating oneself with the same level of kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend in a similar situation. It means acknowledging your pain without judgment, validating your emotions, and nurturing yourself through the healing process.


Seeking Support and Connection
Healing from abuse is a journey best undertaken with the support of others. Whether it's friends, family members, support groups, or mental health professionals, reaching out for help can provide invaluable guidance and validation. Sharing your story with trusted individuals can alleviate the burden of shame and isolation, fostering a sense of connection and solidarity.

Support networks not only offer emotional validation but also practical assistance in navigating the complexities of healing and recovery. This is one of the things I love the most about the Facebook group that Carla helps me to facilitate: it's a powerful, safe space for you to be seen, heard, and validated.


Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care
Reclaiming dignity after abuse requires setting boundaries that safeguard your physical, emotional, and psychological well-being. This may involve distancing yourself from the perpetrator, establishing clear communication about your needs and boundaries, and prioritizing self-care practices that nurture your mind, body, and spirit.

Self-care encompasses a wide range of activities, from engaging in hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment to practicing mindfulness, meditation, and relaxation techniques. It's about tuning into your needs and honoring them without guilt or self-reproach.


Maintaining one's dignity in the aftermath of abuse is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It's a journey marked by courage, self-compassion, and the unwavering belief in one's inherent worth. While the scars of abuse may linger, they do not define who we are. Through healing, self-discovery, and advocacy, we reclaim our dignity and emerge stronger, more compassionate, and empowered to create a brighter future for ourselves and others.

To dignity no matter what,




P.S. If you're ready to take the next step in healing from abuse and would like to explore enrolling in the Beyond Surviving program, start by applying for a Discover Your Genuine Self session.

Sign up for my free guide so you can stop spinning your wheels and instead navigate your way through each stage of recovery with ease and clarity. Get the support you need today