A Return to Your Genuine Self

June 28, 2021

Fight for the one's you love

I am so f******* mad, and sad, and helpless, and hopeless, and scared, and livid ..... and joyful, and thankful.

My mom who has Alzheimer's and lives at St. Sophia's in Florissant, Missouri (#nametheabuser) has opened up to visitors, and what we are seeing happen to her is the most egregious abuse. Left half naked in bed with food scraps, refusing to put a bed rail up to make sure she doesn't fall out of bed, food left with no utensils, losing irreplaceable items ... the list goes on.

Thank God I have the support of Elizabeth, an amazing care companion and advocate who has supported me through this.

I am getting her the hell out of there and protecting her just as she protected me from my grandfather.

Since my mom's diagnosis in 2016, I have faced the grief of losing my mom before she's really "gone", battled so much red tape to get her the services she needs, fought for her care and safety, not to mention dealt with the my checked out sister and brother.

In moments like these, I'm so thankful for the healing work I've done. When I say Beyond Surviving is a lifestyle ... this is one of those moments.

Healing our trauma isn't just so we can feel better. It's so we can navigate our lives and face challenges as they come from a place of power and resilience and choice and support and unwillingness to collapse or settle.

I am fighting for my mom and I need all of my energy to do so!

I am also fighting for men and women who want to be free from the soul, energy, life sucking BS that results from trauma.

Fight for yourself. Fight for those you love.

WATCH HERE: https://youtu.be/RzUUAOvZjcI

Continue the conversation! Join us in the Healing from Sexual Abuse group on Facebook, a safe space for survivors to come together to receive support and guidance. bit.ly/healingfromsexualabuse

#coachrachelsays #beyondsurviving #mondaymini #fightthegoodfight #healthenervoussystem #alzheimers #familyshit #power #resilience #choice #gratitude #angry #care #safety

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June 21, 2021

Recovery time out!

Aloha from Hawaii!

This week I'm taking a recovery time out!

I want to encourage you to consider that healing doesn't mean working hard, having your nose in a self help book every day, being in course after course after course ... life is for LIVING!

We need recovery time outs ... in fact they actually play a critical role in our healing and helping is to avoid recovery burn out!

What will you do for a recovery time out today?

WATCH HERE: https://youtu.be/oY3X2wi_Oog

Continue the conversation! Join us in the Healing from Sexual Abuse group on Facebook, a safe space for survivors to come together to receive support and guidance. bit.ly/healingfromsexualabuse

#coachrachelsays #beyondsurviving #mondaymini #recoverytimeout #healthenervoussystem #pause #slowdown #hope #healing #play #journey #avoidburnout #relax

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I Refuse to Be Silent

In this episode, Tim shares about his deep journey to finding his voice and refusing to be silent anymore about the childhood sexual abuse he experienced.

Along the way, we discuss some of the key factors that prevented him from speaking up both at the time of the abuse and later in life. He shares about the major turning point that finally gave him the courage to seek support, and all the ways he’s been surprised along the way each time he’s shared his story since breaking the silence.

WATCH HERE: https://youtu.be/1cRUlz2gov8

#beyondsurviving #wherearetheynow #metoo #malesurvivor #breakthesilence #yourstorymatters #courage #support #turningpoints #growth #healing #community #makingadifference #raiseyourvoice

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June 14, 2021

Radical hope...

" - radical hope, as Lear defines the notion, lies in their willingness to accept what can never be restored while remaining receptive to unforeseeable forms of flourishing."

"We don't know what happens when one world ends. But we have the chance to imagine a new one," What new world will you imagine for yourself today?

WATCH HERE: https://youtu.be/paHfArXZJ7k

Continue the conversation! Join us in the Healing from Sexual Abuse group on Facebook, a safe space for survivors to come together to receive support and guidance. bit.ly/healingfromsexualabuse #beyondsurviving #mondaymini #healing #hope #newbegininnings #freud #radicalhope #creativity #imagination #metoo #flourish

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May 31, 2021

What I have in common with transgender actor Elliot Page...

A few days ago, I came across this article about Elliot Page. I'm a huge fan of his movies, and so I definitely clicked to read more.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-9614175/amp/Transgender-actor-Elliot-Page-shows-abs-pair-swim-trunks.html

This part jumped out at me,

"Since transitioning and coming out as transgender, the Juno star said that, for the first time in his life, he has been able to feel happy in his own body."

I could feel that. I got that. I know what it feels like to be trapped by your body, to not be comfortable in your own skin...decidedly for different reasons than Elliot....and yet, I resonate with his pain and with his longing to feel happy in his own body. I've had to battle to reclaim my body and femininity, and I wasn't shamed or harassed or threatened when doing so as Elliot has been (reason number one why he is one of my heroes).

I also share his sadness and concern regarding the many ways that states are instituting bills that limit gender affirming care,

"You’re basically seeing your identity challenged constantly. It’s so much toxic dialogue and rhetoric, and complete denial of trans and gender-nonconforming people’s existence..."

I have faced a lack of access to care when I needed it due to lack of finances...again, not the same, but yet....I get the injustice here, how scary it feels to know you need access to care, and resources, and support, and to not receive that care...how things can become so overwhelming that you lose hope...

And I also know that I've had the privilege to eventually experience the healing power of having access to care, having a supportive community....and I also know that justice for sexual trauma and access to care for survivors is still too limited because of a society that rejects the real lived experiences of those who've been abused.

One final quote from Page,

"This is the first time I’ve even felt really present with people, that I can be just really relaxed and not have an anxiety that’s always pulling."

This is what we all deserve.

When I look at my friends who are trans, I wish for a day when I don't have to have an underlying fear that they will be harmed or diminished because of who they are.

When I look at my Black and Brown friends....same.

When I look at my Jewish friends....same.

When I live my life as a bisexual woman...same.

As those who have suffered due to the imposition of someone else's choices (this is the first thing every abuser takes from their victim - choice!), how can we not stand up for those who are being told to be silent, how can we let lawmakers decide what a person can and can't do with their own body!?

One of the tenants of Beyond Surviving is reclaiming choice.

And that's not choice for the privileged or choice for the few.

It's about agency and autonomy to live one's life, and I want that for every man and woman and non-binary person regardless of race, religion, orientation, or gender identity.

Don't you?

Much love and happy Pride month!

Watch Did being abused make me gay?

What choices do you make everyday that you are thankful to have the autonomy and agency to make?

BOOK OF THE MONTH

Often pushed to the margins, queer, transgender and gender non-conforming survivors have been organizing in anti-violence work since the birth of the movement. Queering Sexual Violence: Radical Voices from Within the Anti-Violence Movement locates them at the center of the anti-violence movement and creates a space for their voices to be heard. Moving beyond dominant narratives and the traditional violence against women framework, the book is multi-gendered, multi-racial and multi-layered. This thirty-seven piece collection disrupts the mainstream conversations about sexual violence and connects them to disability justice, sex worker rights, healing justice, racial justice, gender self-determination, queer & trans liberation and prison industrial complex abolition through reflections, personal narrative, and strategies for resistance and healing.