tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post7003487922262372652..comments2023-11-27T02:14:27.270-08:00Comments on A Return to Your Genuine Self: Consequences of Abuse on the Next GenerationRachel Grant Coachinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11928425955326643713noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post-29003605042292411602012-01-19T16:44:41.398-08:002012-01-19T16:44:41.398-08:00@Margie: thanks so much for taking the time to pos...@Margie: thanks so much for taking the time to post and for sharing your experience. It's so difficult to talk about csa with our family and when they don't believe us - well, that just makes things harder. I know you've made your peace with it, but your story will hopefully help others as well!Rachel Grant Coachinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11928425955326643713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post-32456447907671830682012-01-19T16:26:08.742-08:002012-01-19T16:26:08.742-08:00I'm catching up with your postings late but th...I'm catching up with your postings late but that......This is such a sad story. Unfortunately my three daughters had been sexually abused, the two oldest by my ex husband and my youngest by a masked bandit who put a gun to her head as he raped her. She was working at Taco Bell. So all 3 had no problem believing it. My son was another matter. He refused to believe it and we haven't discussed it since. I don't even know if he believes me now or not. My perpetrator was my father and my two brothers believed it. My oldest was very angry and wanted to drag my father's body out of his grave. My sister at first said she remembered it happening, she witnessed it (she slept on the top bunch and I slept on the bottom). She also said she ran away from home a year after I did because she could tell he was coming after her next. The next day she called and said I made the whole story up and denied anything she had said the night before. She said her husband told her this. It's such a shock to people, not an easy thing to disclose. Thanks for the posting, MargieMargie McKinnonhttp://www.thelamplighters.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post-3316873984061633782011-10-25T22:57:10.995-07:002011-10-25T22:57:10.995-07:00@Vickie: thanks for bringing in such a interesting...@Vickie: thanks for bringing in such a interesting perspective to the conversation. Definitely an aspect of the family relationship I hadn't even considered. Great insight! and thank for you for taking the time to comment.Rachel Grant Coachinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11928425955326643713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post-41649922181469006902011-10-25T15:27:32.585-07:002011-10-25T15:27:32.585-07:00Remaining silent quiets the outside world from hea...Remaining silent quiets the outside world from hearing what happened but it does not stop the internal angst. Working with the terminally ill elderly population, it is always interesting to hear people complain about the adult children who will not get involved with their dying parent. When told that the adult children were abused as youngsters, many people will ask "Why can't they just let it go and take care of their parent?" If the child never received any support, these feelings will continue to fester inside and when the parent is dying, many of the children are now left with conflicted emotions. For many it is easier to distance themselves from the offending parent than to risk being victimized again.Vickienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post-34849281728359192172011-10-22T11:38:48.630-07:002011-10-22T11:38:48.630-07:00@Liz: thank you so much for taking the time to com...@Liz: thank you so much for taking the time to comment. You make such a great point when you notice how people respond to physical/violent harm with compassion and support but to sexual abuse with fear, shaming, or dismissal. I wish the best for both you and Sally and hope that, in the end, you'll find a way to honor and appreciate this step as an important one in your journey of recovery. Very best!Rachel Grant Coachinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11928425955326643713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1210543631651064614.post-14312858578873198392011-10-22T04:48:00.164-07:002011-10-22T04:48:00.164-07:00So many survivor stories have a similar vein. Cont...So many survivor stories have a similar vein. Continuing with the silence tears us apart, yet if we share it we hurt others. If we remain silent, the abusers will continue to abuse others. There's a torment inside that never goes until we do face it. I for one applaud Sally. My daughter never found out till she read my book. The brother that abused me, abused my daughter & I'm ashamed of trying to live my stepford wives life. I had pretended everything was perfect when indeed it was anything but. I am now in a similar position. A very lonely lady, outcast by the family for unearthing the shame. It puzzles me as to why any family would encourage the silence of anyone that's been harmed. If I had been shot or stabbed by the people involved... It would be a different story but unearth a dark family secret & lift the curtain of shame is a no win situation. Although it sets us free. A large price to pay but certainly the right move to make. I applaud you Sally & I hope one day you can move in from this.lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10976789477141078323noreply@blogger.com