December 29, 2015

A Beyond Survivor Tells Her Story

Having now worked as a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach since 2007, I can say that I have one of the coolest jobs ever. Not only do I get to spend my days walking alongside amazing men and women, assisting them in their journey of recovery, but I know without a doubt that my Beyond Survivors are a very special breed. They are generous, loving, world-changers, fun, and brave.

So, it's with great honor that I get to introduce you today to Toni, who became a Beyond Survivor in 2015. She shares with you a bit about her journey and what she gained from our time working together.



"She talked about feeling broken and unfixable, and I thought 'Yeah, that's exactly how I feel'...I think the thing that is most noticeable is my confidence level..."


You can learn more about my Beyond Surviving program here, but more importantly, leave a comment for Toni letting her know what you got from her story.

December 15, 2015

Mind Does Matter: How Thoughts Impact Your Weight Loss Goals

Today we conclude our series with Toni Genovese, is a Certified Professional Coach with a specialty in Wellness Coaching. I hope you'll leave a comment to let here know what you've gained from this series!

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Whether you think you can, or think you can’t -- you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Earlier in the week, I went up to the attic to bring down the storage bins with all my holiday decorations. My fiancĂ©e warned me not to do it alone and since he wasn’t available, he suggested my son help. I have done this many times over the years by myself, so I didn’t see the need for help. As I pulled the steps down, I wondered how much stuff was up there. Was it really cluttered? And as I climbed the ladder it all came into view and yes, there was a lot of stuff. As I started pulling out the bins, one thought kept rolling through my mind, “I have to get rid of some of this stuff.” This played through my mind over and over as I grabbed the bins and started down the ladder. Some of the bins were heavy, some were light, but I was pretty good at getting everything down, except for this one bin; it kind of got stuck on the way down. I tried to maneuver it. It was really light so it surprised me when I lost my grip and it crashed down to the floor. I wondered what was in it.

Downstairs, in front of the tree, I started opening the bins. Everything seemed well packed from last year and then I opened the last bin.  As I lifted the top I could hear the broken glass tinkling on the bottom. Everything had broken in the bin I dropped. And what was in there? Handmade things my children made through the years. An adorable framed Santa picture that survived nearly 20 Christmases. Everything had a memory attached and I was heart-broken, especially since one of the pieces was a reindeer painted on glass that my daughter actually made for her brother and not for me. My mind immediately went to my thought in the attic, “I have to get rid of some of this stuff.” Effectively, there would be one less bin in the attic now. I, indeed, found a way to “get rid of some of this stuff.” This was not the way I planned it, but it was going to happen nevertheless.


So I know you are reading this and thinking this is a mere coincidence. Isn’t it? Well, my education is in psychology and one of my strong areas of interest is in research and showing cause and effect. And this one-off situation is not concrete proof of cause and effect. However, I do think you will agree with me that our thoughts can cloud our perception of things. That when we feel sad, all we see is sadness in the world. When we feel anger, we curse more things in our lives that make us angry and feel angrier. Our thoughts seem to set us up for what we accept, see and do. Whether you believe in the Law of Attraction, are spiritual or even scientific you would probably agree that there is a connection between what we think, what we expect and what we choose to happen next, consciously or unconsciously.

If we do have this power to create worlds for ourselves by our thoughts how do we harness this power to make change in our lives? First, is to acknowledge that it is there. Acknowledge that you can create your world. Next, is to focus on the positive and on what you desire without focusing on what you lack or what you don’t want.

So if you are struggling with your weight and all you are thinking about is how you can’t lose weight, you are really believing that it can’t be done and may even be sabotaging yourself in this area without even knowing it. If we believe it, we make it so. You may have heard the expression, “keep your eyes on the prize.” And literally, this is the way to go. Think about what it will feel like to get where you want to be. Think about what it will be like to reach your goal and FEEL that JOY inside of you. When you think about how far you need to go, you will feel doubt and discontent. This frame of mind will keep you in doubt and discontent. Many people also tell me they initially lose weight and then can’t keep the motivation and start gaining it back again. Usually, they are still focusing on how long they still have to go and so, the road becomes even longer.

One of the things I help people focus on is creating one new small habit. A habit that fits in with the change they want to make. First we work on discovering the BIG GOAL. The goal might be something like losing 50 lbs. Next, we focus on creating the best habit that will help that person reach that goal and then incorporate it into his or her life. We don’t focus on how long the road is to get to the goal. We really focus on the “here and now” of doing that habit each day, because I know when you add in a new, healthy behavior and it becomes part of your life you cannot go wrong. Try it. Try just adding in something new that you can do every day. Make it your ritual. Like drinking water, or experimenting with a new healthy food. Then use the power of your mind to set your intention on doing that particular habit for the day. You can write down your intention, too. I do this each day. I set my intention on what is important for me accomplish that day in mind, body and soul. I put it out there and create that intention and follow it through the day. I am not thinking about tomorrow or two weeks from now. There is much power in the “here and now.”

We make our choices in the here and now and then we CHOOSE to follow through. Your choices are powerful. Make choices intentionally, and create your thoughts intentionally. We don’t have to allow life to pick us up and drag us through. Yes, situations occur and there are things we have no control over. However, you always have control over your thoughts. Make them positive and make them serve you in the best possible way. Henry Ford really said it best. 

I hope you will think you can reach your goals, because even if you don’t believe that today, that is my hope for you and I will carry it around for you until you are ready.

Have a happy and healthy holiday season!

Blessings,
Toni


Sign up for Toni’s FREE guide to learn more about ways you can change your thinking to reduce your stress and live a happier, more peaceful life: The “5 Shifts to Lose the Stress” Guide


Visit my website and blog: www.StrongAtTheCore.com






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Toni Genovese, is a Certified Professional Coach with a specialty in Wellness Coaching. She has been in the field of social work for 20 years and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and therapist. She is also a Certified Personal Trainer with the National Academy of Sports Medicine. She started Strong at the Core Coaching to help others who are struggling with health and wellness issues and are overwhelmed at how to begin making changes in their lives. Toni is a single mom with 3 kids, one of whom has autism. She learned how to turn her challenges into opportunities to create an amazing life. She uses this knowledge and experience to help her clients unlock their core strengths and turn their own challenges into opportunities to reach their goals. Toni loves running, strength training and yoga. She earned her coaching credential with the World Coach Institute and is a member of International Coaching Federation.



December 6, 2015

Tackling the Body Image Blues

Today we continue our series with Toni Genovese, is a Certified Professional Coach with a specialty in Wellness Coaching. She's sharing her own personal story, so I hope you will leave some comments to let Toni know what you took away from her journey.

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My Story
Health & fitness are an important part of my life now. But when I was a kid taking care of my body was the farthest thing from my mind. I was an obese kid. I remember being weighed in the 4th grade. The teacher measured our height and weight and wrote them down on a chart in the classroom that everyone could see. I was mortified every time I walked by that chart. My weight was in the triple digits and everyone else had a weight in the double digits.

I really struggled with my weight. At 12 years old, I started becoming obsessed with my weight. All I could think about was losing weight. I started working out for hours on end and severely restricted my calories. I lost weight but I quickly dropped to a dangerously unhealthy weight.  I remember only wanting to look like the girls in “Seventeen” magazine.


I knew this was turning into a problem when everyone started telling me I was too skinny and I still saw an overweight girl in mirror. I wondered, “Why can't I see what they all see?” In my mind I still didn't look like the girls in the magazines and I thought I had to work even harder. Although I was never officially diagnosed with anorexia, I was clearly struggling with an eating disorder.

Then something strange happened. After years of extreme dieting, I started getting fatigued, sleeping all day and I stopped working out. I didn't feel like going anywhere and was getting depressed. I started eating normally again, but by my 16th birthday I started putting on lots of weight which made me more depressed. I went to the doctor. It was the middle of the winter and he said “take off your coat.”  I will never forget the look of shock in his eyes when I took my coat off. He said “oh my god, you have the thyroid of an 80 year old woman!” I was 16. He immediately diagnosed me with hypothyroidism, which is an underactive thyroid condition and I had a visible goiter, to boot. I was prescribed a medication called Synthroid and have been on it for over 30 years.


My Shift

Since I didn't have a family history of this disorder, I wanted to know how I developed this condition. I started doing research and discovered that anorexia, thyroid problems and depression are all linked. Hormones play a major role in all three issues. I probably destroyed my own thyroid through extreme dieting and screwed up my hormones and in turn which created both depression and an underactive thyroid.

So why am I sharing this story with you?  Well, I think it is significant that this crazy cycle started when I was a teen with a poor body image. My only goal was to look like the girls in the magazine. I didn't value my body and that is really my concern about the effects of body image distortion. Comparing ourselves to others sets us up to devalue ourselves and then we do things that punish, instead of nourish, ourselves. So, we end up severely depriving our bodies of nutrition and we mentally beat ourselves up because we can’t compare to the images we see in the magazines. This sets us up for failure and keeps us trapped.


Why Diets & the Media are Bad for You

I think having a negative view of our body also causes a lot of people to go on those quick fix type of diets that usually lead to yo-yoing in weight. Research teaches us that yo-yo dieting changes your hunger hormones for up to a year. You end up feeling extremely hungry after a severe diet and that is why it is so easy to gain back the weight after dieting. Also, every time you diet you actually have to eat less with each diet to be able to lose weight. So, the more diets you have been on in your life, the harder it will be to lose weight.

Also, exposure to thin models is related to body image distortion, as well as, eating disorders. We see the standard of beauty that exists in the media and we internalize it. When we compare those images to our our own bodies it causes body dissatisfaction. You and I both know that many of those images are “photoshopped,” but we still compare our bodies to the ones we see and we undervalue our bodies. Research suggests that advertisers are basically betting on the fact that you will compare yourself to the models in the ads and when you realize you don't measure up you will go out and buy that product so you could be more like the model!


Getting Healthy

So, the most important first step to take to get healthier is creating a healthy body image. When we start with a healthy body image we won’t struggle and punish ourselves with exercise or deprive ourselves of foods. When we create a healthier body image we can create a healthier body that is functioning at its best. If we destroy our hormones we will actually have trouble burning fat and utilizing the whole foods we need to provide it nourishment. Don't think about doing a diet. Diets are temporary. Think about creating both a healthy image of yourself and a healthy lifestyle. Add foods in your life that will bring you great health and work on LOVING YOUR BODY.  


How to Love your Body
Here are my top 3 tips to loving your body and to start getting healthy this holiday season.

1. Believe it or not, one of the best things you can do for your body image is to surround yourself with other people who have a positive body image. Being around other people who feel good about themselves will rub off on you.

2. Think of yourself as a WHOLE PERSON and don’t just look at, and critically evaluate, parts of your body. You are amazing, beautiful and incredible. You are more than the sum of your parts. And don’t you forget it!

3. Start becoming aware of how you feel in your body. One of the best ways to get in touch with what your body needs is to drink water. When you start properly hydrating, you will learn the difference in your body’s signals between thirst and hunger. Getting in touch with this will give you more confidence about making healthy choices because you will learn how to listen to internal rather than external signals about what your body needs.

I know you will SPARKLE this holiday season. I would love it if you would share with me your thoughts on tackling the body image blues to get better health. You can leave a comment below or email me at toni@strongatthecore.com. I will be back soon to talk about how important our thinking is to better health and wellness.


To learn more about ways to deal with emotional eating and what you can do about it, get Toni’s eBook:
Creating Calmness in the Storm: Five Ways to Tame the Chaos.

Join me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongatthecore/?ref=hl
Join me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/Strongatthecore
Visit my website and blog: www.StrongAtTheCore.com


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Toni Genovese, is a Certified Professional Coach with a specialty in Wellness Coaching. She has been in the field of social work for 20 years and is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and therapist. She is also a Certified Personal Trainer with the National Academy of Sports Medicine. She started Strong at the Core Coaching to help others who are struggling with health and wellness issues and are overwhelmed at how to begin making changes in their lives. Toni is a single mom with 3 kids, one of whom has autism. She learned how to turn her challenges into opportunities to create an amazing life. She uses this knowledge and experience to help her clients unlock their core strengths and turn their own challenges into opportunities to reach their goals. Toni loves running, strength training and yoga. She earned her coaching credential with the World Coach Institute and is a member of International Coaching Federation.




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